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Old 01-29-2011, 11:09 AM
 
Location: Back in MADISON Wi thank God!
1,047 posts, read 3,239,170 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by magoomafoo View Post
My son was bullied beyond belief the past two years by a newcomer to our small town. It started with name calling, throwing rocks/sticks at him. My son was 9 and the bully was 12. It came to a halt when my son was walking home from school one day with a couple of his friends. The bully came barrelling up on him with his bike and tried running him over. My son quickly moved out of the way but the bully turned and came back at him coming a little too close to the girl that walking with my son. My son grabbed the bully off his bike and when he tried to take a swing at my son, was punched right square in the nose. He then called the girl a horrible name and my son proceeded to whitewash the kid. He then dragged the kid to the side of the road and continued home. This whole event was witnessed by several adults including the crosswalk guard. (thank goodness). The bully's mom called me up and preceeded to give me the third degree on how MY son is a bully and she was pressing charges because her son's nose was bleeding. What upsets me is that my son had to resort to physical aggression to PROTECT not only himself but a girl that was with him. Needless to say, he recieved numerous "atta boy's" from alot of parents including his own.
Good for your son! It just irratates me to no end when parents of these bullies and brats think that their little angel couldn't possibly be in the wrong!
Teachers these days must be so fed up with stupid parents sticking up for their kids instead of teaching their kids to respect authority, and to treat everyone with respect and kindness.
We advocate the same as you have done. Ignore it if you can, but if you are physically threatened, protect yourself, and ALWAYS stick up for friends or a weaker individual being picked on. Good job!
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Old 01-29-2011, 06:08 PM
 
Location: New Orleans
9 posts, read 14,991 times
Reputation: 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by magoomafoo View Post
My son was bullied beyond belief the past two years by a newcomer to our small town. It started with name calling, throwing rocks/sticks at him. My son was 9 and the bully was 12. It came to a halt when my son was walking home from school one day with a couple of his friends. The bully came barrelling up on him with his bike and tried running him over. My son quickly moved out of the way but the bully turned and came back at him coming a little too close to the girl that walking with my son. My son grabbed the bully off his bike and when he tried to take a swing at my son, was punched right square in the nose. He then called the girl a horrible name and my son proceeded to whitewash the kid. He then dragged the kid to the side of the road and continued home. This whole event was witnessed by several adults including the crosswalk guard. (thank goodness). The bully's mom called me up and preceeded to give me the third degree on how MY son is a bully and she was pressing charges because her son's nose was bleeding. What upsets me is that my son had to resort to physical aggression to PROTECT not only himself but a girl that was with him. Needless to say, he recieved numerous "atta boy's" from alot of parents including his own.
I think this is a wonderful case in point on 2 levels...from your circumstance the child was a newcomer...sounds to me the bully had relocation and self esteem issues...and youve probably raised your son to be kind and welcome to new people...and the bully took this as weakness...then applying his own frustrations on your son...however he couldve been a total monster before who knows...HOWEVER it heartens me that a..ur son stood up to protect his girl friend...and b...that he was upfront and honest with the reality of what happened with you...Violence is NEVER the answer..but I certainly commend self defense and protection when there is no other option...sad??? that it had to come to this..YES...the issue I find fault w most is...the mother and the subsequent attaboys...were fueling the fire here folks if we dont know the whole story and giving high fives where high fives arent due...I guess my greatest concern w parents whom are oblivious OR overprotective is this...We need to find out the truth what actually happened...beforeeee we jump oh well ***** my baby never did that u ****** loser especially when YOUR baby comes home w blood...I feel for the other mother BUT...we seem to forget...there are THREE sides to EVERY story YOURS MINE and the TRUTH...touche...and good for your son sticking up for the girl...Im sorry his mother didnt take the time to research the facts...I hope all has been resolved to a more peaceful situation now
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Old 01-29-2011, 07:41 PM
 
1,078 posts, read 2,210,056 times
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Another side to the bully issue is that alot of the kids that are bully's tend to have underlying problems...i.e...adhd/add-anger agression-ect. Put that together with the fact that public school's can't discipline students with these types of behavioral problems. There is a loop hole-trust me, it happened at our school. Finally with the demands of numerous parents at school board meetings, students who bully are reprimanded. How? Their parents get to deal with them for half of the school day. They are only allowed to attend school on a part time basis to allow staffing to deal with these kids. It's time parents and schools put a stop to bullying. Look at how many kids have committed suicide because of bully's.
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Old 01-29-2011, 07:57 PM
 
Location: Hawaii
2,058 posts, read 2,807,079 times
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When I worked at the day care we had a little boy (2 yrs old) who constantly bit and hit other kids with toys. Our company policy was that if they bit 3 times he could no longer come to our day care.

When he was on his 3rd strike and we started keeping him slightly separated from the other kids and playing with him alone. As it was, he was often in time out anyways, this way he could at least play with toys and books instead of being in time out constantly.

When his mother found that out that we were keeping him on the other side of the room with the assistant teacher (she knew about his hitting and biting because we sent reports home daily to all the parents) she was furious. She said she didn't want him in time outs anymore and wanted him to be able to play with the nice kids, not the ones that provoke him (no one provoked him, he hit whoever was closest at the time). She also asked to see the reports of him hurting the other kids because she didn't believe it happened that often, but then said never mind when I went to ask the director for the file. We tried to explain that our policy was that he had only one more chance and we were trying to prevent her from having to take him to a day care out of town since it was a small town and we were the only day care. She didn't wanna hear it. After she yelled at us and the lead teacher simply stated our policy again and why we were doing what we were doing, she left and didnt say anything else about it. She took him out of the day care a couple months later. I'm assuming she had a babysitter who cared for him one on one or a day care that had more lax rules about hitting and biting. Good for them? Not really, but ok.

The funny thing was that when she picked him up everyday he'd pull her hair really hard the whole time! So really? She didn't believe he did it with no provocation?? So in conclusion: yes, some of them see thier child as a little angel and everyone else as the problem.
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Old 01-29-2011, 08:04 PM
 
Location: Hawaii
2,058 posts, read 2,807,079 times
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Another one was a kid who was kinda rough, not as mean as that kid, but definetely mean at times. When we told his mom he was being pretty rough and aggressive with the other kids, she said "Oh he's a Leo, that's how they are" I said "Well I'm a Leo. We have the same birthday actually..." She said "You know what I mean then!" ..Definetley don't think your astrological sign gives you the right to hit people and take thier things..
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Old 01-29-2011, 11:30 PM
 
15,294 posts, read 16,849,408 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thatsong64 View Post
When I worked at the day care we had a little boy (2 yrs old) who constantly bit and hit other kids with toys. Our company policy was that if they bit 3 times he could no longer come to our day care.

When he was on his 3rd strike and we started keeping him slightly separated from the other kids and playing with him alone. As it was, he was often in time out anyways, this way he could at least play with toys and books instead of being in time out constantly.

When his mother found that out that we were keeping him on the other side of the room with the assistant teacher (she knew about his hitting and biting because we sent reports home daily to all the parents) she was furious. She said she didn't want him in time outs anymore and wanted him to be able to play with the nice kids, not the ones that provoke him (no one provoked him, he hit whoever was closest at the time). She also asked to see the reports of him hurting the other kids because she didn't believe it happened that often, but then said never mind when I went to ask the director for the file. We tried to explain that our policy was that he had only one more chance and we were trying to prevent her from having to take him to a day care out of town since it was a small town and we were the only day care. She didn't wanna hear it. After she yelled at us and the lead teacher simply stated our policy again and why we were doing what we were doing, she left and didnt say anything else about it. She took him out of the day care a couple months later. I'm assuming she had a babysitter who cared for him one on one or a day care that had more lax rules about hitting and biting. Good for them? Not really, but ok.

The funny thing was that when she picked him up everyday he'd pull her hair really hard the whole time! So really? She didn't believe he did it with no provocation?? So in conclusion: yes, some of them see thier child as a little angel and everyone else as the problem.
Lots of two year olds bite and hit because they don't have the language to use their words or out of frustration.

In the daycares I worked in, a biter was usually shadowed and prevented from biting. We actively taught them other ways to interact. We separated the biter for short periods of time and then allowed them to try again. Usually within a few weeks the biter learned new behaviors to replace the old ones and they did not have to be *kicked out* of the center.

Parents are often at a loss in terms of how to deal with these behaviors, so the centers I worked with also tried to have handouts and advice for the parents on what to do.

Mostly, I do think that 2 year olds eventually grow out of these behaviors especially if parents and teachers work on teaching them empathy, caring and good behaviors.
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Old 01-30-2011, 12:51 AM
 
5,703 posts, read 15,498,043 times
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Anytime I see threads of this nature I immediately think of my sister-n-law. My husband said she was mean as heck when they were growing up. He said if anyone asked if she was his sister, he would lie and say no. She is gruff, got the I'm a real bad a** attitude, etc. There have been times when she fondly told me stories of how she used to beat up one girl all the time. Her kids ended up being bullies as well. My sister-n-law thought it was cool. She viewed them as go getters and strong. She even had a bumper sticker on her car that read "My kid beat up your honor roll student." Her first child never graduated high school. She ended up on probation for kicking in the window of a party store. The second child, ended up on probation after fighting. The kids are now in their late twenties. The second child, a boy is now a father and his child who is only 3 is showing signs of being a bully. Sad.
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Old 01-30-2011, 06:54 AM
 
Location: New Orleans
9 posts, read 14,991 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fallingwater View Post
Anytime I see threads of this nature I immediately think of my sister-n-law. My husband said she was mean as heck when they were growing up. He said if anyone asked if she was his sister, he would lie and say no. She is gruff, got the I'm a real bad a** attitude, etc. There have been times when she fondly told me stories of how she used to beat up one girl all the time. Her kids ended up being bullies as well. My sister-n-law thought it was cool. She viewed them as go getters and strong. She even had a bumper sticker on her car that read "My kid beat up your honor roll student." Her first child never graduated high school. She ended up on probation for kicking in the window of a party store. The second child, ended up on probation after fighting. The kids are now in their late twenties. The second child, a boy is now a father and his child who is only 3 is showing signs of being a bully. Sad.
First Id like to say THANK YOU to everyone who has responded to my post...it takes a spark to create an inferno...truly one person can change the world but an idea at a time...and when we come together like this I believe we are gleaning info and experience from one another...bullies do not create themselves there are ALWAYS underlying issues...I commend time outs at a young age..but once that child gets to a point of abusing the mother or father for attention...there is ur warning sign...Its a matter of respect...I do NOT want to compare children to dogs...however I believe its along the same lines at that time in life...you cant be suckers bc of what u went thru in ur life...lets BREAK THE CYCLE....no is no...period If we teach them early enough theyll get it...in my sons life I have tried to inject comic humor for all the well mom I hate this and Im not doin that...I come back w comedy and in the end...hey buddy...lets look at it this way...what if this happened to ur mommy...what would you do and we go from there....But I firmly believe at that young of age you need to be w biters...its a slippery slope truly so put on ya traction shoes...bc WE brought them into this world...and we have a responbility to our family AND the community
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Old 01-30-2011, 07:53 AM
PDD
 
Location: The Sand Hills of NC
8,776 posts, read 14,150,267 times
Reputation: 11850
Quote:
Originally Posted by magoomafoo View Post
My son was bullied beyond belief the past two years by a newcomer to our small town. It started with name calling, throwing rocks/sticks at him. My son was 9 and the bully was 12. It came to a halt when my son was walking home from school one day with a couple of his friends. The bully came barrelling up on him with his bike and tried running him over. My son quickly moved out of the way but the bully turned and came back at him coming a little too close to the girl that walking with my son. My son grabbed the bully off his bike and when he tried to take a swing at my son, was punched right square in the nose. He then called the girl a horrible name and my son proceeded to whitewash the kid. He then dragged the kid to the side of the road and continued home. This whole event was witnessed by several adults including the crosswalk guard. (thank goodness). The bully's mom called me up and preceeded to give me the third degree on how MY son is a bully and she was pressing charges because her son's nose was bleeding. What upsets me is that my son had to resort to physical aggression to PROTECT not only himself but a girl that was with him. Needless to say, he recieved numerous "atta boy's" from alot of parents including his own.
While this is a nice "feel good" story the fact is that most 9 year old's are not able to be physical with 12 year old's.
Congrats to your son as he must be an exceptional little boy.

We all know this is the way bullies should be handled but I am afraid it does not normally go that way.

Good for your boy.
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Old 01-30-2011, 08:48 AM
 
1,078 posts, read 2,210,056 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PDD View Post
While this is a nice "feel good" story the fact is that most 9 year old's are not able to be physical with 12 year old's.
Congrats to your son as he must be an exceptional little boy.

We all know this is the way bullies should be handled but I am afraid it does not normally go that way.

Good for your boy.

I was only making a point that the bully would pick on younger/smaller kids. Hitting girls is not exempt either. Funny thing is that for the first year after his family moved in, our school swept everything under the rug. This only made the situation worse as the other kids were the one's actually getting in trouble for that kid starting the fight. His mother would come barging into the school crying foul-my son is a sensitive loving boy-he has anger/agression issues-he must be having trouble with his add/adhd today-all the other kids in this school are the problem-----Great, one of those "Society is the reason my kid is a bully" mom's.
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