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Old 01-30-2011, 06:38 PM
 
Location: Outer Space
1,525 posts, read 3,358,469 times
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Got me. I have no interest in finding out.
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Old 01-30-2011, 07:00 PM
 
Location: here
24,476 posts, read 28,767,996 times
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there are advantages and disadvantages to all scenarios. We chose to space ours 2-3 years apart (closer to 2). It didn't have anything to do with how easy or hard it would be. I wanted to have them close and get it over with. Now they are 5 & 7 and can both ski, hike, etc. I'd hate to be the one left behind with the new baby at this point.

And, if you want to be a stay at home mom, and can afford it, the farther apart they are, the longer you have to be off work.
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Old 01-30-2011, 07:14 PM
 
Location: somewhere
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I have 5 and due to a divorce then remarriage there is a 6 yr age difference between my 2nd and 3rd. The first 2 are about 2.5 yrs apart and the last 3 are 3 yrs apart. I guess I just never really thought about whether it would be hard or not, maybe because I have never had to work outside the home. FWIW I like the 3 yr age difference, I never had more than 1 in diapers and bfing or taking a bottle and the 3 yr olds liked being big brothers.
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Old 01-31-2011, 01:42 PM
 
Location: Powell, WY
991 posts, read 1,955,545 times
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It's so relative!

My first 2 are 18 mos. apart, same gender. Having 2 in diapers was a pain, but it wasn't unmanageable. What was unmanageable was the colic the younger had. Ultimately, she was high needs, so my oldest learned to be a bit more self sufficient.
There are 3.5 years between my 2nd and 3rd. That was pretty easy; she was already potty trained and was an easy preschooler.
I'm due in a few weeks with #4 and she will be 3.5 years apart from my son. He's a handful! He just requires more attention than my girls. I don't know how it will be once the baby comes...I'm actually a little anxious about it.

My sister in law has a 14 year old, 7 year old and 1 year old. She's a mess and can't handle any of it. But she's also whiny and high maintenance.

It all really depends on the person. I like having mine somewhat close.
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Old 01-31-2011, 03:32 PM
 
32,538 posts, read 29,362,165 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
With one you can travel around the world.
With two you can't get out the front door.
You can if you are determined enough. (And, as I've said before, Mom and Dad are on the same page and helping each other.)

Red eye flights.

They're sound asleep.
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Old 01-31-2011, 04:18 PM
 
Location: NC
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i have 2 and they are 7 years apart.

works for me.

i would have to commit myself to an insane asylum if i had more than one toddler at a time LOL

Any way you do it... they all have advantages and disadvantages. Don't worry so much about the planning of WHEN... just enjoy them and love them. thats all that really matters. it's hard whether you have one or three, regardless of their ages or how far apart they are.
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Old 01-31-2011, 08:09 PM
 
Location: Round Rock, Texas
10,102 posts, read 9,333,194 times
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My firstborn is currently 4.5 (will turn 5 in June), and my second, her sister, will be born in April..so they will be basically 5 years apart. I didn't really plan it that way per se...it was more of us being indecisive for 4.5 years, gestational diabetes with my first pregnancy, and enjoying life as a trio. I did, however, set an age limit -- I did not want to be pregnant after 35, so at 34 we made up our minds. I think the age gap is great because my oldest is more independent and will be in school. She knows how to use the bathroom and has a good grasp of language. I can talk to her and reason with her. Also, the costs are somewhat staggered -- we wouldn't be dealing with two high school costs at basically the same time, two college tuitions, two teenage angst sessions, etc. At the same time, I can see the pros of option 2. We don't plan on having 3. I've been told that the biggest adjustment, regardless of gap, is going from a one child household to a two child household. I'll get back to you in a few months on that.
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Old 02-01-2011, 12:50 AM
 
Location: Australia
1,492 posts, read 2,657,358 times
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Firstly it gets exponentially more difficult as the number of kids get greater.
If you do not understand "expenentially" then you should set the number of kids at zero.

If I was doing it all again, I would have the kids as close together as possible.
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Old 02-01-2011, 11:21 AM
 
14,777 posts, read 34,544,673 times
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You make the best of whatever situation you are dealt. If you think you can ever 100% plan the order and age differences, you can't. So, there is no perfect scenario.

However, I will say that I am a firm believer in the exponential statement. Kid 1 is a life changer and since all the experiences are new and you are learning it can be difficult. With that said, kid 2 really doesn't rock the boat too much. You've been there and done that and you can quickly adapt. It also doesn't hurt that the world is seemingly designed for a family of 4 and the kids don't outnumber the parents.

BUT...

When you add that third one, it just gets exponentially harder. The kids now outnumber the parents and everything is a supreme effort. Again, you adapt, but all the paradigms have shifted and you find that your family of 5 doesn't fit so easily with the way the world is designed.
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