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Old 01-29-2011, 07:10 PM
 
Location: state of procrastination
3,487 posts, read 6,128,566 times
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Would like some opinions from people with experience.

I know it is very difficult to take care of even one child. But do things become more efficient if you are taking care of two children at once? Here are some examples. Which do you think is easier and most efficient? Assume no unforeseen complications with each child, and that you want to have 3 kids total:

1) Having child #1, then having child #2 when the first child is school age (4-6 years old). Then child #3 when child #2 gets to school age. Children will have age difference of 8-12 years.

2) Having child #1, then having child #2 ASAP, then child #3 ASAP, so they are all within 5 years of each other.

3) Having twins, and then another child ASAP.

4) Having triplets.

Thanks!

Last edited by miyu; 01-29-2011 at 08:34 PM..
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Old 01-29-2011, 07:15 PM
 
Location: earth?
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Wow. I am exhausted just reading the work you want someone to do.
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Old 01-29-2011, 07:33 PM
 
Location: Florida
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Gosh. I guess I'd say that it's easiest to just have each of the kids 2-3 years apart. This way, one is getting out of the "baby" stage while the next one is being born. By the time my youngest was 5ish, there was no way I wanted to start over with baby stuff again, and we decided we were DONE, so I personally would not recommend the "wait until the youngest is in kindergarten" thing. Also, once the youngest of the three is 5, you'll also have a 7ish year old and a 9-10ish year old, which makes traveling, going out for the day, etc very easy. No babies/toddlers to worry about feeding, changing, bringing along a stroller. Get all of the physically demanding stuff out of the way during the first several years of parenting, then move onto the emotionally and mentally draining stuff when they all start hitting later childhood within a few years of each other.
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Old 01-29-2011, 07:51 PM
 
Location: Back at home in western Washington!
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Those my only choices? My oldest and second are less than 2 years apart and then we waited until the first was in school before having the 3rd one. Personally, I would have prefered the first two to be a little further apart. Apparently fertility problems weren't a problem when conceiving #2 for us . 3-5 years apart for each one would be my choice of timing.
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Old 01-29-2011, 08:02 PM
 
Location: Denver area
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I don't know how anyone could answer that without personally experiencing every choice...?

Anyway, everyone's experience is different - how much help will be available? Is money an issue? You can never assume no unforeseen complications because parenting is one big ball of "unforseen complications". Kids are individuals and will have individual personalities - some are more high maintenance than others.

For us - our kids (2) are 3 years apart in age, 4 years apart in school. It's been great. They are close enough in age to have a relationship and far enough apart in age that we won't be paying for college for 2 at once...YMMV.
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Old 01-29-2011, 08:23 PM
 
Location: state of procrastination
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
Anyway, everyone's experience is different - how much help will be available? Is money an issue? You can never assume no unforeseen complications because parenting is one big ball of "unforseen complications". Kids are individuals and will have individual personalities - some are more high maintenance than others.

They are close enough in age to have a relationship and far enough apart in age that we won't be paying for college for 2 at once...YMMV.
I guess within the context of my question, money and help will be the same for all situations. I don't expect people to have definite answers but the sharing of personal experiences has been helpful.

My feeling with the triplets it seems like you just have to go through the whole thing once and you are basically taking care of them in tandem, which I assumed would be easier (i.e. "conveyor belt" style diaper changes, bathings, and feedings, sending them all to the same schools and activities, interchangeable clothing). Forgive me if this sounds completely delusional ... I'm just trying to work out this scenario in my head.

Paying for three college tuitions all at once... yikes, I didn't even think about that! Maybe we can pass the triplets off as one child and just pay for one... har har...
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Old 01-29-2011, 08:27 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,141 posts, read 22,118,386 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miyu View Post
I guess within the context of my question, money and help will be the same for all situations. I don't expect people to have definite answers but the sharing of personal experiences has been helpful.

My feeling with the triplets it seems like you just have to go through the whole thing once and you are basically taking care of them in tandem, which I assumed would be easier (i.e. "conveyor belt" style diaper changes and feedings, sending them all to the same schools and activities, interchangeable clothing). Forgive me if this sounds completely delusional but I have no experience with taking care of multiple kids at once.

Paying for three college tuitions all at once... yikes, I didn't even think about that! Maybe we can pass the triplets off as one child and just pay for one... har har...
Heh...it may be easier as babies but try being at 3 school open houses all at the same time? Or three different sporting events or recitals - not even counting getting three kids to practice several times a week. People think about the challenges as babies but rarely think of the challenges later on -it's harder once their activities mean leaving the house. Inevitably, those activities will conflict...and be at opposite ends of town. Not to mention paying car insurance on 3 teen drivers at the same time, braces at the same time, even school supplies or registration (fees alone at my children's public high school easily runs $200-300 for the year but all due at once - and that doesn't include school supplies) ....trust me, it's not the baby stage you need to be thinking about so much...When they are spread apart - even a little bit - it does lessen the load a bit...one kid can maybe be driving him to football while you are taking another to dance lessons. Get finished paying for braces for number one then starting in on number two. Sports registration and/or equipment or music or dance lessons, and all the accoutrements that go with those. The school trips, proms....those all add up to much more than diapers.

Also....do you really want to be possibly dealing with 3 PMS-ing daughters all at once

Last edited by maciesmom; 01-29-2011 at 08:46 PM..
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Old 01-29-2011, 08:27 PM
 
Location: Geneva, IL
12,976 posts, read 11,794,980 times
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I only have 2 (enough for me), and they are 2.5 years apart. Perfect age difference for me. My sister has 4 - 21, 19, 15, and 8. She always maintains that it is not as simple as adding one more child, but it's more exponential. By adding a child you are assuming they are never going to have a bad day at the same time, be ill at the same time, etc. If only life were that copacetic?
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Old 01-29-2011, 08:30 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
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Meh.
You learn to play the cards you are dealt.
No one could plan on the scenarios you stipulate....
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Old 01-29-2011, 08:30 PM
 
Location: THE USA
3,254 posts, read 5,259,841 times
Reputation: 1982
Quote:
Originally Posted by miyu View Post
Would like some opinions from people with experience.

I know it is very difficult to take care of even one child. But do things become more efficient if you are taking care of two children at once? Here are some examples. Which do you think is easier and most efficient? Assume no unforeseen complications with each child, and that you want to have 3 kids total:

1) Having child #1, then having child #2 when the first child is school age (4-6 years old). Then child #3 when child #2 gets to school age. Children will have age difference of 8-12 years.

2) Having child #1, then having child #2 ASAP, then child #3 ASAP, so they are all within 5 years of each other.

3) Having twins, and then another child ASAP.

4) Having triplets.

Thanks!
was hard for 1 and 2 having done both because essentially you compound everything the more kids you have. I don't mean double work I mean triple and quadruple work.

Think carefully.
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