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Old 01-31-2011, 05:27 AM
 
Location: Beautiful Florida !
222 posts, read 500,902 times
Reputation: 231

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My daughter will marry soon. We are the typical middle class family. I am single with no job and am living off my savings. Father has not helped with the wedding cost so I have given them $1000.00 to help with the wedding letting them know this is part of their wedding gift. I also bought her wedding dress which was only $300.00. Wondering how much more money should I give as a wedding gift? Please let me know what you would do if you were me not knowing when I might find job. Thank you
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Old 01-31-2011, 05:29 AM
 
Location: Outer Space
1,523 posts, read 3,900,906 times
Reputation: 1817
I'd tell her the wedding dress was her gift. Really, you've done a lot already.
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Old 01-31-2011, 05:50 AM
 
Location: New York, NY
917 posts, read 2,948,104 times
Reputation: 1045
My best friend and I both recently got engaged and here's what our mothers are doing:

Friend: Mom got the dress- $500

Me: Nothing, but they are paying for their cross country plane tickets and hotel to attend (if we were getting married on the other side of the country, my mom offered up the church she works for as a venue because it would be free).

We both know our parents love us but can't afford to spend more and we're fine with it. Also, because my mom hasn't put any money in, she has no say in the decorations/logistics our wedding. My fiance's mom has offered to help, but that means she also wants to help with the planning. Fortunately she has good taste and I love her, but that situation could go wrong very easily.

If your daughter is aware of your financial situation (meaning she knows you're not working and living off savings), she should understand that you just can't give her a lot of money. If she is rude to you about it, then you have bigger problems than just financial.

Best of luck to you and your daughter! There are some great websites with budget wedding ideas.
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Old 01-31-2011, 05:51 AM
 
7,214 posts, read 9,393,969 times
Reputation: 7803
You've done a lot already, like the person above said. Don't go in to debt to finance a wedding.

She probably already realizes that your finances are strained.
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Old 01-31-2011, 05:54 AM
 
Location: The Mitten.
2,535 posts, read 3,100,245 times
Reputation: 8974
Shellsandwater, your "obligation" is over!
Put yourself first. If your daughter is mature enough to get married, she's mature enough to realize your financial straits and not expect one thing more from you.
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Old 01-31-2011, 06:32 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,499 posts, read 54,078,069 times
Reputation: 47919
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zenstyle View Post
Shellsandwater, your "obligation" is over!
Put yourself first. If your daughter is mature enough to get married, she's mature enough to realize your financial straits and not expect one thing more from you.
My thoughts exactly.
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Old 01-31-2011, 06:49 AM
 
Location: South Carolina
14,784 posts, read 24,083,908 times
Reputation: 27092
I also have to say that you have done enough already and no need to put yourself in financial ruin due to a wedding . Good luck and hopefully all can turn out well .
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Old 01-31-2011, 07:11 AM
 
10,624 posts, read 26,734,165 times
Reputation: 6776
I think you've done more than enough, and have been incredibly generous. You really don't want to go into more debt for this, and I doubt that your daughter wants you to, either. Just offer your help and (non-financial) support in the wedding planning process and on the day itself.
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Old 01-31-2011, 07:43 AM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
24,012 posts, read 28,455,426 times
Reputation: 41122
I wouldn't do any more - you've done plenty. Offer to help out in other ways if you can - making phone calls, addressing invitations etc.
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Old 01-31-2011, 08:38 AM
 
Location: here
24,873 posts, read 36,167,496 times
Reputation: 32726
Considering you don't have a job, I think you've done enough. If you have a job and money saved, maybe you could get them a nice 1st anniversary gift.
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