U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-08-2011, 08:05 AM
 
90 posts, read 197,465 times
Reputation: 124

Advertisements

Quality time is a myth. Parenting involves time...period.

If I showed up at a job for 5 hours a week, but claimed it was quality time, would anyone think that I am capable of doing an effective job in that limited period of time?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-08-2011, 08:07 AM
 
Location: Denver area
21,145 posts, read 22,135,031 times
Reputation: 35604
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toonces07 View Post
Quality time is a myth. Parenting involves time...period.

If I showed up at a job for 5 hours a week, but claimed it was quality time, would anyone think that I am capable of doing an effective job in that limited period of time?
Not any more than if you showed up physically, but spent all day playing solitaire on the computer.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-08-2011, 08:08 AM
 
Location: somewhere
4,264 posts, read 7,936,891 times
Reputation: 3129
I would agree with everyone else, 5 hours a week IMO is not acceptable. Who is raising your kids? I don't understand why you would have children if all you can committ to them is 5 hours a week. I am extremely blessed in that I get to be a SAHM so I am with my kids alot and in 18 yrs of marriage my husband and I taken 1 vacation without the kids and couple of overnight trips. I feel bad for your kids and you, because you are missing so much, they are so much fun at their ages, learning something new all the time and you miss it all.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-08-2011, 08:11 AM
 
90 posts, read 197,465 times
Reputation: 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
Not any more than if you showed up physically, but spent all day playing solitaire on the computer.
Red herring.

A person who failed to do their basic job would be fired pretty quickly.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-08-2011, 08:42 AM
 
4 posts, read 5,931 times
Reputation: 10
well i can't take kids with us becouse we are not going on places that are suitable for kids. many of hotels have rules that they don't accept kids under 12 yrs.
well i had kids cos i wanted family and i didn't want to be old mom, but i think that it is not so improtnat to take my 3 yr old with me now. i'm not saying that later in life we won't take them with us. but can you really relax with 3 kids under 5 anywhere. it is hectis as it is at home and imagine on airport.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-08-2011, 08:55 AM
 
Location: here
24,474 posts, read 28,767,996 times
Reputation: 31056
Quote:
Originally Posted by mia158 View Post
well i can't take kids with us becouse we are not going on places that are suitable for kids. many of hotels have rules that they don't accept kids under 12 yrs.
well i had kids cos i wanted family and i didn't want to be old mom, but i think that it is not so improtnat to take my 3 yr old with me now. i'm not saying that later in life we won't take them with us. but can you really relax with 3 kids under 5 anywhere. it is hectis as it is at home and imagine on airport.
Then go places that you CAN take them! I've never been to a hotel that doesn't allow kids. Never. there are resorts that offer child care so you can spend time with your kids, and without them while on vacation. Or take a nanny or babysitter with you. I feel sorry for your kids. Your friends that criticize you for not spending enough time with them are spot on!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-08-2011, 09:07 AM
 
9,056 posts, read 6,731,674 times
Reputation: 11008
Quote:
Originally Posted by mia158 View Post
well i had kids cos i wanted family and i didn't want to be old mom
Better to be an "old mom" than no mom. You don't have kids, you have breathing accessories.

This thread had better be a joke. How is it physically possible to spend 5 hours a week with your kids when you live in the same house?

Those kids must be heartbroken. Quality vs quantity my butt. You have neither. Geez.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-08-2011, 09:11 AM
 
32,538 posts, read 29,362,165 times
Reputation: 32238
Ski weeks - A week at Mammoth or weekends at Snow Summit - took the kids with.
Summer on boat - How about a week on a houseboat? Took kids with.
Trips to LV - Took kids with.

Except for "date weekends" we took our kids everywhere. MY parents took their kids everywhere. I think I had every book there was that had a title like "London with Kids" or "Waikiki on a Budget".
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-08-2011, 09:14 AM
 
4 posts, read 5,931 times
Reputation: 10
ok i just wanted to read your opinions. you have right to your opinion.
maybe it is becouse i went to boarding school as a child so i don't have that family connection or whatever.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-08-2011, 09:22 AM
 
32,538 posts, read 29,362,165 times
Reputation: 32238
Quote:
Originally Posted by mia158 View Post
ok i just wanted to read your opinions. you have right to your opinion.
maybe it is becouse i went to boarding school as a child so i don't have that family connection or whatever.
My husband grew up with families who put their kids in boarding school. Or a military academy. He saw how "close" those families were. (Meaning they weren't.) There were kids on his street he saw maybe three, four weeks a year and most of those "families" were total dysfunctional messes. It's one of the reasons we took our kids everywhere. He'd seen what it does and he wanted no part of it.

BTW: YOU can break the cycle and start building connections with your own family.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top