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Old 02-08-2011, 05:26 AM
 
4 posts, read 5,926 times
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im 35 yrs old and have 3 kids ( 5 yr old twins and 3 yr old son). My husband and I are very busy- we work from 8am to 7-8pm.
some of my friends sometimes comment on my parenting. Becouse we like to have fun aka- ski weeks, summer on boat, trips to LV, NY, Paris, London. of course we don't take kids with us becouse i think they are too little.
i spend around 5 hours per week with kids. i know that is not much but do you think what matters in quantity or quality
sorry for english- im not from english speaking country
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Old 02-08-2011, 05:46 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,434 posts, read 41,608,566 times
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I spend 5 hours per day with my kids. And that is during school week. the rest of the time we spend almost all the time with our kids. I would never leave my kids for more than 2 or 3 days per year much less week at a time several times a year. Why bother to have kids if you don't want to be with them.
And if you as parents aren't with them, that means you have given that responsibility to somebody else. Not good.
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Old 02-08-2011, 06:13 AM
 
11,614 posts, read 19,707,814 times
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I don't think the quantity of time you spend with your children tells the whole story about what kind of parent you are. However, I do think that going off on constant vacations without your kids lets your kids know that your fun and excitement is more important than developing a relationship with your children.

You do not say how often you travel without your children but from your post I gather that you never travel with them. As your kids get older they will find out that other families travel together and have family vacations. I think an occasional trip without the kids is fine but why can't you travel WITH your kids? Why don't you want to take them with you? My kids have always traveled with us.

As a frame of reference my husband and I have taken 5 trips without the kids over the past 17 years and probably 30 trips with them. There is nothing wrong with leaving the kids home every now and then but why can't you take fun trips with them?
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Old 02-08-2011, 06:50 AM
 
Location: Louisiana
60 posts, read 39,394 times
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About an hour per day during the week. On the weekends plenty more.
I enjoy my 10yr old daughters company because right now she's turning into a teenager and before too long I'll be as dumb as a brick.
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Old 02-08-2011, 06:57 AM
 
1,302 posts, read 1,529,167 times
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5 hours a week and you fly all over the world without them? You're a babysitter. Sorry.
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Old 02-08-2011, 07:35 AM
 
Location: here
24,469 posts, read 28,723,874 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mia158 View Post
im 35 yrs old and have 3 kids ( 5 yr old twins and 3 yr old son). My husband and I are very busy- we work from 8am to 7-8pm.
some of my friends sometimes comment on my parenting. Becouse we like to have fun aka- ski weeks, summer on boat, trips to LV, NY, Paris, London. of course we don't take kids with us becouse i think they are too little.
i spend around 5 hours per week with kids. i know that is not much but do you think what matters in quantity or quality
sorry for english- im not from english speaking country
I'm not going to criticize you for working, but I would hope that you would make up for your busy weekdays by spending weekends and vacations WITH your kids, not away from them. 5 hours per week is nothing. I hope you will rethink your priorities. To answer your question, I spend 8 hours each weekday with my 5 year old, and both kids are with one or both of us parents all weekend.
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Old 02-08-2011, 07:40 AM
 
20,793 posts, read 52,354,094 times
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The Quality vs Quantity deal was made up by people who want to justify not spending time with their kids. Why did you have kids if you really don't want them? Sorry but 5 hours/week is not enough time to spend with your children, especially putting things like vacations and fun ahead of your children. That's not to say that all parents shouldn't take SOME time for themselves, but not ALL their time. Try taking your children on vacations with you and see if perhaps you actually like spending time with your children.
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Old 02-08-2011, 07:49 AM
 
Location: here
24,469 posts, read 28,723,874 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by golfgal View Post
The Quality vs Quantity deal was made up by people who want to justify not spending time with their kids. Why did you have kids if you really don't want them? Sorry but 5 hours/week is not enough time to spend with your children, especially putting things like vacations and fun ahead of your children. That's not to say that all parents shouldn't take SOME time for themselves, but not ALL their time. Try taking your children on vacations with you and see if perhaps you actually like spending time with your children.
The quality vs quantity argument is fine for a family where both parents work but they spend quality time with the kids in the evenings and on weekends. IMO it doesn't fly in the OP's case because they aren't spending quality or quantity time with their kids.
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Old 02-08-2011, 07:58 AM
 
Location: S. Florida
1,100 posts, read 2,585,011 times
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It's all about QUALITY than quantity. What good would it be for a child to spend all day long with a parent who is physically around, but not paying attention to them?
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Old 02-08-2011, 07:59 AM
 
Location: Hillsborough
2,825 posts, read 5,952,246 times
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I feel like I'm taking the troll bait, but here goes...

I think there is some truth to quality over quantity, but I also think that 5 hour per week is not enough (is that really including weekends?). I originally thought you were going to say 5 hours per week, but then you take lots of trips doing fun things WITH the kids. And that might help. But only 5 hours per week, plus taking trips WITHOUT the kids seems like really not enough.

I work outside the home and spend about 3-4 hours per day with my kids on weekdays, though much of that time is taken up by eating meals, taking baths, things like that. I do typically spend the entire weekend with the kids though. And when we vacation, we do it with the kids.
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