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Old 05-24-2016, 08:05 PM
 
1 posts, read 523 times
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my first child, and it took the staff over 9 hours to tell me. My Dr. immediately put me on valium and strong sleeping pills. I never got to hold my little girl and I have no memory of what happened the next few years, meds kept being refilled.
Now, no one seems to know where her body is buried and I just don't know what happened to my little girl, Paula.
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Old 05-25-2016, 12:09 PM
 
2,008 posts, read 2,009,371 times
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Am so sorry. But calling an attorney is not necessarily an accusation, and you better believe the hospital and the doctors have already called theirs and their insurance carriers! There is nothing wrong with getting an attorney to at the very least help you get more info if they are not giving it to you.
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Old 05-25-2016, 01:02 PM
 
Location: Georgia, USA
20,950 posts, read 25,343,948 times
Reputation: 25607
Quote:
Originally Posted by sharron ryan View Post
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my first child, and it took the staff over 9 hours to tell me. My Dr. immediately put me on valium and strong sleeping pills. I never got to hold my little girl and I have no memory of what happened the next few years, meds kept being refilled.
Now, no one seems to know where her body is buried and I just don't know what happened to my little girl, Paula.
My condolences for your loss.

Someone had to give permission for Paula's remains to be removed from the hospital. If you were unable to do it, someone in your family had to. Talk to your family members. If there was a burial, there was likely a funeral or memorial service, even if just at graveside. What does your family say about that?

When did this happen? You may be able to get hospital records if it has not been too long. Those would include information about Paula.

You also need to be aware that sleep medications can cause amnesia. You may very well have held Paula but just do not remember doing so.
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Old 05-25-2016, 01:56 PM
 
Location: MMU->ABE->ATL->ASH
8,939 posts, read 15,756,823 times
Reputation: 9618
Just a FYI This is a 2011 Original Post
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Old 05-25-2016, 05:52 PM
 
Location: Georgia, USA
20,950 posts, read 25,343,948 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flyonpa View Post
Just a FYI This is a 2011 Original Post
Yes, but a new poster piggy backed on it.
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Old 05-25-2016, 11:00 PM
 
99 posts, read 59,040 times
Reputation: 304
I'm sorry for your loss Sadly, death during childbirth happens, and it is not terribly uncommon. I know someone who lost their child the same way...the baby died during delivery. As the person above said, it was likely compression of the umbilical cord. It is a very sad situation.

I do think doctors "CYA" for each other. It's possible the doctor is worried about a lawsuit. Unless you feel there was gross negligence on the part of the doctor, I'd be apt to let it go. Find out how to get the report so you can review it, but please know this is something that does happen. Death during delivery, and stillbirths are still tragically common.

I hope you and your wife can find some peace. I can't imagine the devastation you are going through. My condolences.
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Old 05-26-2016, 09:46 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
15,970 posts, read 15,293,653 times
Reputation: 37199
Quote:
Originally Posted by sharron ryan View Post
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my first child, and it took the staff over 9 hours to tell me. My Dr. immediately put me on valium and strong sleeping pills. I never got to hold my little girl and I have no memory of what happened the next few years, meds kept being refilled.
Now, no one seems to know where her body is buried and I just don't know what happened to my little girl, Paula.
Quote:
Originally Posted by suzy_q2010 View Post
My condolences for your loss.

Someone had to give permission for Paula's remains to be removed from the hospital. If you were unable to do it, someone in your family had to. Talk to your family members. If there was a burial, there was likely a funeral or memorial service, even if just at graveside. What does your family say about that?

When did this happen? You may be able to get hospital records if it has not been too long. Those would include information about Paula.

You also need to be aware that sleep medications can cause amnesia. You may very well have held Paula but just do not remember doing so.
Sharron, I am sorry for your loss.

Suzy gave some good points. Especially the part where you may have held your daughter but not remembered it. It was only in the last few years where some hospitals in some situations took photographs of a stillborn or diseased child with their parents.

Please ask all your family members and friends for the information that they know. They may have the answers but did not want to tell you in case it made you upset.

I am reluctant to mention this but if your baby was not born alive the hospital may have had a special procedure to follow or a special place to bury unborn children. If you contact the hospital social worker I am sure that you can get some answers. Or you could contact your former doctor as he or she may have the information in your file.

In my state I believe that doctors need to keep records for at least 10 years and hospitals at least 20 years (possible even much longer). The records may take some time to locate but they should still have them in storage some place.

You can also check with the county and see if a death certificate was issued. I do not believe that would happen if your baby was stillborn. The county coroners office may also give you information of where to get additional information.

I am sorry.

Last edited by germaine2626; 05-26-2016 at 10:20 AM..
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Old 05-26-2016, 09:58 AM
 
Location: The point of no return, er, NorCal
6,708 posts, read 4,058,292 times
Reputation: 8652
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
Sharron, I am sorry for your loss. Suzy gave some good points. Especially the part where you may have held your daughter but not remembered it. It was only in the last few years where some hospitals in some situation took photographs of the child with their parents.

I am reluctant to mention this but if your baby was not born alive the hospital may have had a special procedure to follow or a special place to bury unborn children.

You can also check with the county and see if a death certificate was issued. I do not believe that would happen if your baby was stillborn.

I am sorry.
There is no "special place" designated for intrapartum or birth losses. As in other situations, bereaved parents are able to request pathology and an autopsy, and once they're completed, they are free to make memorial or funeral arrangements. Some funeral homes cover a good portion or all of the costs.

I'm very sorry for your loss, Sharron. You have hospital records, correct? The hospital you gave birth at should have your records along with your daughter's. You can also check with the office of vital records for the death certificate. It took a little while to receive my son's certificate.
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