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Old 02-11-2011, 07:22 AM
 
11,615 posts, read 19,738,691 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by suedonym View Post
id rather have my son be embarrassed than go missing in the 3 minutes i was in there ...
I understand that thought. That's why the kids don't bother me in the ladies room. But how long do you anticipate taking him with you in the ladies room? Until he's 12? 14? 16?

I think people's fears of abduction are far out of proportion to the actual incidence of abduction. Middle school boys should be able to go to the men's room.
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Old 02-11-2011, 07:33 AM
 
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At some point, we have to loosen the apron strings. I do allow my older child (who is under 10 but older than 5) to use the men's room alone. Yes, I get nervous and imagine the Worst Possible Thing Ever happening, but the point has to come where I have to swallow the anxiety and allow him a modicum of independence.
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Old 02-11-2011, 07:40 AM
 
Location: Bay Area
2,406 posts, read 6,804,327 times
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I think too many parents bring their opposite sex children in the restroom. Just this weekend we were in a restaurant and a woman brought her daughter and son (around 8-10) in the restroom with her. She had other people in her party who could have taken the boy into the men's room. This was not a restaurant where he would have gone missing or she or someone could have waited for him outside. I think too often parents do it out of convenience/ease for themselves instead of doing what in my opinion would be the proper thing.
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Old 02-11-2011, 07:56 AM
 
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Just yesterday, I saw a very uncomfortable looking 9 or 10 y.o. boy being taken into the ladies' room by his mother. I felt sorry for the kid. He was clearly mortified by it. At that age, he was definitely old enough to go into the men's restroom by himself.

We teach our children how to use public restrooms safely. My 11 y.o. hasn't wanted me to go into the public restroom with her for a couple of years now, so I just wait from a place where I can watch for her to come out. My 7 y.o. want to be able to see my feet when she's in the stall. I think it depends on the child's comfort level. Neither of my girls would be comfortable going into a men's restroom with my husband.

I have to agree with Mommabear. There is a better chance your child is going to get hit by a car on your own street than there is that he/she will be abducted in or near a public restroom. One or two news stories does not an epidemic make. There really aren't pedophiles lurking around every corner.
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Old 02-11-2011, 07:57 AM
 
Location: Kansas
19,189 posts, read 14,096,440 times
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I probably took my son with developmental disabilities in the ladies restroom with me until he was probably 10 and now I stand at the door of the men's room and I mean at the door and if I hear a peep, I'm in there which hasn't happened yet. There are so many pervs now everywhere. We used to tent camp at the state parks and with open showers, women still brought their younger sons in and it was somewhat awkward to me but still, if you explore what kinds of scum crawl the earth looking for opportunities, you'll be more tolerant of mother's and father's protecting their children if given the opportunity. It is especially tough for parents of children with developmental and/or physical disabilities. I pulled my son who functions at the pre-school level at age 24 out of the day center because I found him alone in the parking lot and 2 months later, an employee was found "pleasuring himself" in front of one of the clients (people with disabilities) by another staff member and he was given a counseling statement rather than having the police called and being fired - some sort of sick acceptance. So, you'll see me there at the men's restroom with my ear on the door and if that offends you, well...........
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Old 02-11-2011, 09:17 AM
 
Location: Hillsborough
2,825 posts, read 5,959,678 times
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There is the issue of what to do if the child has to use the restroom, and then also the issue of what to do if the parent has to use the restroom.

If my daughter and my husband were in a public place and my husband had to use the restroom, you better believe I want him to bring my daughter in rather than leave her to wait outside by herself. If she has to use the restroom, then maybe she can use the women's room by herself and he can wait outside, assuming there is one entrance and everything. And assuming she is big enough to reach everything necessary by then (right now, at 4.5 years old she cannot reach the sink to wash her hands by herself, for example).

I don't have boys, but I think it's much easier, and more common, for little boys to go in the women's room. It's when girls are out with dad that it is trickier. I'm glad there are family bathrooms and locker rooms more and more these days.

Another thread on this: little boys in the girls restroom
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Old 02-11-2011, 09:46 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ADVentive View Post
There is the issue of what to do if the child has to use the restroom, and then also the issue of what to do if the parent has to use the restroom.

If my daughter and my husband were in a public place and my husband had to use the restroom, you better believe I want him to bring my daughter in rather than leave her to wait outside by herself. If she has to use the restroom, then maybe she can use the women's room by herself and he can wait outside, assuming there is one entrance and everything. And assuming she is big enough to reach everything necessary by then (right now, at 4.5 years old she cannot reach the sink to wash her hands by herself, for example).

I don't have boys, but I think it's much easier, and more common, for little boys to go in the women's room. It's when girls are out with dad that it is trickier. I'm glad there are family bathrooms and locker rooms more and more these days.

Another thread on this: little boys in the girls restroom
My husband has been in that situation with our daughters too, and when I asked him about, he says he just holds it or if he really has to go, he has waited until the urinals are free, and then made whichever or both of our daughters wait in a separate stall until he's done, which is gross but really the only alternative when they're little.

You're right. Who would feel comfortable leaving a 7 y.o. girl to wait outside of a men's restroom? That is the far trickier scenario.

I've been in a public restroom when a dad has sent a little girl in, and I've helped them wash their hands when they've asked me to.

This is why we need more family restrooms or more non-gendered restrooms with stalls for everyone!
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Old 02-11-2011, 10:34 AM
 
Location: Geneva, IL
12,976 posts, read 11,803,744 times
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This notion that there are pervs in every public washroom is such an unhealthy notion to pass on to one's children. Children need to learn to be streetsmart and independent, and it's my job to teach my kids that. Thousands more children are killed every year because they are not wearing their seat belts.
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Old 02-11-2011, 10:55 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn New York
15,237 posts, read 23,793,029 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes View Post
I've always taken my boys into the ladies room with me when they were younger. Several years ago a 9-year old boy was allowed to go into a public restroom while his aunt waited outside. The boy was murdered in the restroom. I have never forgotten the story. Here's an article about this horrific crime from 1998 when it happened:

CNN - Suspect arrested in case of boy killed in public bathroom - November 16, 1998

OMG, awful. I couldn't even finish reading the article, It made me sick. As a father of 3 boys, (well, men now) I couldn't even begin to imagine.........


Man or woman, children go the bathroom that is the most comfortable to the parent....and until whatever the parent feels comfortable....and that falls under the catagory of "tough" you don't like it, "tough" it's my child.

I would rather my 9 year old daughter see a fat old man fart, than be killed.....or my son see a womans chest than be killed.....

both children will get over that in a minute.
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Old 02-11-2011, 10:56 AM
 
235 posts, read 436,974 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
At some point, we have to loosen the apron strings. I do allow my older child (who is under 10 but older than 5) to use the men's room alone. Yes, I get nervous and imagine the Worst Possible Thing Ever happening, but the point has to come where I have to swallow the anxiety and allow him a modicum of independence.
I trust my 7 year old to use the bathroom alone. It's the adults that may harm him that I don't trust.

I will never be sorry that I was "too careful" when it came to this issue.
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