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Old 02-11-2011, 10:06 AM
 
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I would argue that every parent will think differently on this. I personally think 5.5-6 years should be appropriate for them to use a public restroom by themselves but then again I haven't given much thought because my child is the same gender as me and also not reached 5 years of age. On the other hand, I could also understand a parent taking their kids to the public restroom if for some reason they didn't feel the child will be safe going alone. What if you the parent needs to use the bathroom, are you going to leave your kid outside if you don't feel it's safe? I don't think I would.
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Old 02-11-2011, 10:09 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn New York
15,592 posts, read 25,002,820 times
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When my sons were younger, being in Parks and such, I remember one "grandmother" say to her grandson, OK, Now (whtever his name was), you go to the men's room with these nice little boys and I will be right out side the door......
and when we all came out, she smiled and said thank you.............I guess she was glad we were there, maybe she didn't know what to do....

oh well..
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Old 02-11-2011, 11:59 AM
 
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That's a whole other topic, but why do people feel it's okay to touch children they don't know? Both of my girls are curly haired, and they got touched all of the time when they were little.

I think that's part of the restroom scenario though, not so much the pervert but the fact that the children may feel frightened waiting outside a public restroom for a parent who is inside.

Last edited by Green Irish Eyes; 02-12-2011 at 05:28 PM.. Reason: Edited out reference to deleted post
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Old 02-11-2011, 12:09 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
10,732 posts, read 31,784,257 times
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I'm glad I don't have to worry like this about the issue. My daughter is 13 now and as tall as I am. If someone were to try something with her, she will hit back and scream like a banshee...
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Old 02-11-2011, 12:43 PM
 
Location: Swisshelm Park, Pittsburgh, PA
356 posts, read 783,544 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
I think people's fears of abduction are far out of proportion to the actual incidence of abduction. Middle school boys should be able to go to the men's room.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
At some point, we have to loosen the apron strings. I do allow my older child (who is under 10 but older than 5) to use the men's room alone. Yes, I get nervous and imagine the Worst Possible Thing Ever happening, but the point has to come where I have to swallow the anxiety and allow him a modicum of independence.


Quote:
Originally Posted by lucygirl951 View Post

I have to agree with Mommabear. There is a better chance your child is going to get hit by a car on your own street than there is that he/she will be abducted in or near a public restroom. One or two news stories does not an epidemic make. There really aren't pedophiles lurking around every corner.


I'm definitely fall on the stop-blowing-the-risks-out-of-proportion side of this fence. I was shocked when the mother of one of my daughter's friends insisted that her 1st grade son go in the ladies room when we saw them at the LIBRARY one day. My daughter is 7 and goes to the restroom alone many places. My son just turned 4 and does not. Being able to wipe herself and and reach the sink almost all the time are big factors. Most of the time when one of us accompanies my daughter to the restroom, it is to make sure she will find her way back if we are in a large or crowded place. I hope that when my son is 6 or 7, I am rational enough to realize that VERY FEW men are pedophiles and give him the same freedom/ responsibility.


When my daughter was younger, my husband preferred family restrooms but would take her into the men's room if necessary. I think he just checked that there were no penises out before going in. Now he waits for her outside the ladies room and on at least 1 occassion has gone in to help her if she is having a problem.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lucygirl951 View Post
You're right. Who would feel comfortable leaving a 7 y.o. girl to wait outside of a men's restroom? That is the far trickier scenario.
Most of the places we go, I would feel comfortable leaving my 7 year old daughter waiting outside the restroom and I'm pretty sure my husband would to.

Last edited by Scientist Mom; 02-11-2011 at 12:49 PM.. Reason: Just fixed the quote code
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Old 02-11-2011, 12:52 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn New York
15,592 posts, read 25,002,820 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scientist Mom View Post






I'm definitely fall on the stop-blowing-the-risks-out-of-proportion side of this fence. I was shocked when the mother of one of my daughter's friends insisted that her 1st grade son go in the ladies room when we saw them at the LIBRARY one day. My daughter is 7 and goes to the restroom alone many places. My son just turned 4 and does not. Being able to wipe herself and and reach the sink almost all the time are big factors. Most of the time when one of us accompanies my daughter to the restroom, it is to make sure she will find her way back if we are in a large or crowded place. I hope that when my son is 6 or 7, I am rational enough to realize that VERY FEW men are pedophiles and give him the same freedom/ responsibility.


When my daughter was younger, my husband preferred family restrooms but would take her into the men's room if necessary. I think he just checked that there were no penises out before going in. Now he waits for her outside the ladies room and on at least 1 occassion has gone in to help her if she is having a problem.



Most of the places we go, I would feel comfortable leaving my 7 year old daughter waiting outside the restroom and I'm pretty sure my husband would to.

not in NY, I wouldn't.....nor Brooklyn.
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Old 02-11-2011, 01:54 PM
 
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My bigger concern would be that my 7 y.o. would be frightened if my husband left her outside when he went inside. That's what would make me uncomfortable about it. But it would also depend on where. LaGuardia airport, no. The community theater, yes.
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Old 02-11-2011, 02:11 PM
 
Location: Swisshelm Park, Pittsburgh, PA
356 posts, read 783,544 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lucygirl951 View Post
My bigger concern would be that my 7 y.o. would be frightened if my husband left her outside when he went inside. That's what would make me uncomfortable about it. But it would also depend on where. LaGuardia airport, no. The community theater, yes.
Agreed- It definitely depends on where and child's personality and prior experiences.
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Old 02-11-2011, 02:18 PM
 
18,852 posts, read 31,708,488 times
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Most men's rooms have a stall, where a girl can go in with her Dad, if there is no "family RR" available. I would not be okay with my daughter being left alone anywhere...you never know...fortunately, she is 18 now! As for my son's, they always came with Mama, whether they liked it or not. Up to age 12.
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Old 02-11-2011, 03:30 PM
 
1,173 posts, read 4,118,167 times
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I'm always shocked when I see small children going into a public bathroom by themselves. Just the other day we were at a very family friendly chain restaurant for breakfast and seated right by the entrance to the bathroom. I see two little girls probably 7 or 8 go into the bathroom alone, whoever they were with was not seated within sight of the restroom. Not 30 seconds later I see a very creepy looking transgendered individual who was either still drunk or nursing a serious hangover go into the ladies restroom.

My "paranoid over protective helicopter parent" spidey senses kicked into over drive right away and I got up to go into the bathroom too. By the time I stood up the two girls were already rushing out of the bathroom and making a beeline back to their table. They weren't in there with him long enough for him to have done anything but by the looks on their faces I could tell they were freaked out by him.

**I want to add that I have nothing against transgendered people or anyone in the LGBT community in general but THIS individual was creepy**

I have no problems with boys in the ladies restroom at all, I mean c'mon it's not like we are in there stripping our clothes or anything there's really not much to see. I do not agree with girls in the men's room and I feel for dads who are out with thier young girls but I agree finding a normal looking mom and asking for help is probably thier best bet.

As for how old is too old? IMO when they are old enough to be there without me in the first place. For example, would I trust my son at the mall alone? Then he's old enough to go to the restroom their alone not before that. At some point will he find it embaressing? Probably. Do I give a c**p is he's embaressed? Nope. It's not my job to keep him from blushing it's my job to keep him safe.

Some on this thread have said that people need to loosen up there's not pedo's and murders lurking in every corner, well you know what? You're right, they're not everywhere but they sure as heck are concentrated where they can find an easy target and public restrooms are full of unaccompanied underage easy targets. And oddly enough I've always felt a little safer in overcrowded NYC were everyone has their guard up than I do out in the burbs where everyone acts like it's all good.
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