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Old 02-12-2011, 06:28 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miyu View Post
Would there be something wrong with a dad going into the women's restroom with a very young female child? Would people be totally uncomfortable about this?
Adults do not need to be in opposite sex bathrooms. Period.
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Old 02-12-2011, 06:29 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by psr13 View Post
Yeah, let's google "child molestation in school" and see what comes up. You can't stop sending your kid to school, though.
Exactly. We teach, we guide and we hope. That's all we can do within the realm of healthy childrearing.
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Old 02-12-2011, 06:32 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lindsey_Mcfarren View Post
Well I hope that works for you. I for one believe in taking a more active approach. My daughter is 13 and not had to experience anything like this.

I believe my job as a parent is to shelter her until I know she can fend for herself. Given the fact that a person's brain doesn't stop developing until they are app. 20 years of age, I take a more active roll.
Teaching and guiding is an active approach. I hope it works for me as well. It would be horrific if something happened to my children.

I believe my job is to give them the tools to trust their gut instincts, defend themselves and know how to deal with adversity. Who knows when I might not be around for them anymore? They need to know how to handle different situations without my being right behind them.
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Old 02-12-2011, 08:38 AM
 
9,199 posts, read 7,065,000 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lindsey_Mcfarren View Post
Public restrooms are a place that sexual predators frequent, its just a reality. Live in denial if you want but I have to question your fitness as a parent if you do so.

I understand the facts about people who are familiar to the child, they win their trust more easily. Make no mistake, I have my eyes wide open and don't live in denial about what a person might do to a child, whether its someone I know or not.

As far as school is concerned, I have my eyes WIDE open about that as well. My daughters school knows me well.
Oh goodness. I don't think it's living in denial as much as living in fear. Questioning the fitness of parents who choose to let their kids be more independent even though there are dangers inherent in living is a little bold, IMO.

Although it happens occasionally, I would really wonder why a woman's bathroom would be a place for a male sexual predator to frequent. Purely for the fact that a male in a woman's bathroom would arouse more suspicion than he'd be comfortable with. Surely he'd stick out like a sore thumb in there. Have you ever been in a public restroom with your daughter and seen a sexual predator lurking about?

A men's bathroom would be a slightly different matter, obviously male predators going after young boys would be harder to spot - however your kids are going to be subject to this danger anywhere - I would think it's better to teach them how to react to unwanted advances and get themselves out of the situation rather than try and shelter them from it completely.

Also, it's a good place to practice being aware of your surroundings. Predators are unlikely to prey on people who have obviously got their wits about them.

There are touchy feely men out there where you least expect it. Take for example my next door neighbor when I was 12 - who was very good friends with my mother. You'd be better off teaching your daughter how to fend predators off. They really lose their ardor after a good knee to the groin, and I know that from experience. Boy, does that let the air out of the tires, so to speak.

Much better life skill to have than to feel you need accompaniment to the restroom every time you might need to use it.
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Old 02-12-2011, 08:51 AM
 
Location: The middle of nowhere Arkansas
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miyu View Post
I recently noticed some older boys (around 10 years old or maybe they just look very mature) accompanying their moms in the ladies room -- and using the restroom too. I didn't think it's a huge deal but at what age does it become weird? Can't the kid just use the men's room while the mom waits outside?

It would definitely be uncomfortable if a young girl had to use a restroom and she had to be accompanied by her dad. I can't imagine bringing a small girl into the men's room, and I can't imagine a man going into the lady's room to help the daughter. How do people deal with that?
It's weird long before you get to 10 years old.
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Old 02-12-2011, 09:02 AM
 
Location: somewhere
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I have read through this thread, seen some posts that make me wonder, but basically if someone thinks I am over-protective I could really care less. We all try to teach our children to be independent, to be aware of their surroundings, yadda, yadda, yadda, but since I am the one who would have to deal with the tragedy should my child be that 1 in a million that something bad happens to, then I will be as over-protective as I deem nessary. People can call me over-protective, helicopter parent or whatever else they choose to call me, all that matters is that at the end of the day I can look into my childs face, kiss them and tell them goodnight.
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Old 02-12-2011, 09:46 AM
 
1,173 posts, read 4,122,357 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
You will be when you've raised a fearful, neurotic child that thinks harm lurks around every corner.

I don't trust other adults either but I also realize that the chances of something horrific happening in a bathroom is really low. My child has a much higher risk of drowning or getting into a car accident than being attacked in a restroom.

It is unhealthy to obsess so much over this issue.
Tell that to every kid I grew up with in NYC, we're taught that danger is lurking around every corner so keep your eyes and ears open and at all times, trust no one and don't go certain places alone especially after dark. Are we fearful and neurotic? No, we're street smart. I'd rather raise a kid that questions EVERYONES motives than to raise a naive child with a "it could never happen to me mentality" who doesn't even know that certain "it's" exist.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
Honestly? If I lived in an area where I felt it wasn't even safe to use a public restroom, I'd think seriously about moving.
Then move to the moon my dear because bad things happen everywhere. If you don't think they do then no worries you are just as "safe" in Boise, ID as you are in Newark, NJ

Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
How do you know this person was transgendered?

What are rates of murder and pedophilia happening in public restrooms?
Because I grew up in a city with a tremendous amount of diversity, transgendered individuals are not foreign to me. I have MANY friends who are themselves transgendered. I can also tell you if someone is Puerto Rican vs. Dominican, Chinese vs. Korean, Indian vs. Bangladeshi, Hindu vs. Muslim etc etc etc. It doesn't take much to notice the subtle differences in people when you have your eyes open.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
Adults do not need to be in opposite sex bathrooms. Period.
I disagree, sure not under usual circumstances but sometimes it's okay. For example one night hubby and were driving down to FL at about 3am we hit "South of the Border" (some crazy whacked out rest stop/theme park/gas station/hotel/truck stop thing in SC) it was late the place was desserted and nature was calling. I took one look at the ladies room which had at least 40 stalls and said NO WAY am I going in there alone. I went back out grabbed hubby and made him come inside with me and stand guard outside my stall. You can call it being a fearful neurotic, I call it not being an idiot.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ajzjmsmom View Post
I have read through this thread, seen some posts that make me wonder, but basically if someone thinks I am over-protective I could really care less. We all try to teach our children to be independent, to be aware of their surroundings, yadda, yadda, yadda, but since I am the one who would have to deal with the tragedy should my child be that 1 in a million that something bad happens to, then I will be as over-protective as I deem nessary. People can call me over-protective, helicopter parent or whatever else they choose to call me, all that matters is that at the end of the day I can look into my childs face, kiss them and tell them goodnight.
My thoughts exactly!
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Old 02-12-2011, 12:57 PM
 
28,206 posts, read 20,762,555 times
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I am the one who would have to deal with my child getting killed in a car accident too. Or drowning or any other of a billion things that could happen. It's life. It's not perfect, there are no guarantees and sometimes bad things happen to good people.
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Old 02-12-2011, 01:49 PM
 
235 posts, read 449,072 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
I am the one who would have to deal with my child getting killed in a car accident too. Or drowning or any other of a billion things that could happen. It's life. It's not perfect, there are no guarantees and sometimes bad things happen to good people.
Of course there are no guarantees. Doesn't mean I'm going to let my kid swim alone or get into a car w/o a seat belt. I'm going to do whatever is within my power to make sure they are safe.
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Old 02-12-2011, 02:21 PM
 
11,636 posts, read 20,457,359 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SCGMetroWest View Post
Of course there are no guarantees. Doesn't mean I'm going to let my kid swim alone or get into a car w/o a seat belt. I'm going to do whatever is within my power to make sure they are safe.
I don't really quibble with this. But how long are you going to do whatever is within your power? At what age do you deem your child competent enough to take precautions on their own? Certainly by the time they are in middle school (grades 6-8) they should be able to go to the bathroom by themselves in most places.

I really feel that the more we make children feel that they need adults to do every single thing for them, the longer they actually need adults to do every single thing for them.

I don't have a problem with boys (even older ones) in the ladies room with their moms. The boys do not bother me at all. However, I do question people who do not feel that a child is not competent to go to the bathroom alone by the time they are around 12 years old (absent any developmental delays of course).
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