Parents of Teenagers (babies, girl, 13 year old, boyfriend)

[aidxen]

We have 4 kids. The eldest is 14 and the second eldest is 12 just about become a teen.

[cynderella]

Really great advice here. Congratulations parents. Pat yourselves on the back!

[Momma_bear]

Originally Posted by ajzjmsmom

I agree with hypocore's advice, I have raised two kids to adulthood and at the present time have 2 teenagers and while they are normally great kids, we have had the occasional nasty tone. I found what worked best for me, was to say "excuse me, when you chose to speak to me in a nicer tone, then we can continue this conversation" then I walk off.

This is GREAT advice. The only thing is that the person who posted that she tells her daughter to speak respectfully and the daughter tells her I AM. That tells me that the daughter does not understand what her mother tells her to do.

So I would ADD to your excellent advice that she needs to be very specific with her daughter about what she finds disrespectful and how it can be corrected.

[ajzjmsmom]

Originally Posted by Momma_bear

This is GREAT advice. The only thing is that the person who posted that she tells her daughter to speak respectfully and the daughter tells her I AM. That tells me that the daughter does not understand what her mother tells her to do.

So I would ADD to your excellent advice that she needs to be very specific with her daughter about what she finds disrespectful and how it can be corrected.

I agree, my 17 yr old is the one who usually has the attitude and I always tell him "it is not what you said it is the tone of your voice when you said it" After saying it several times now all I really have to say is "your tone is not so nice" and he gets it.

[treeg26]

Originally Posted by ajzjmsmom

I agree, my 17 yr old is the one who usually has the attitude and I always tell him "it is not what you said it is the tone of your voice when you said it" After saying it several times now all I really have to say is "your tone is not so nice" and he gets it.

I've told her to talk to me the same way she talks to her friends - I know she isn't using that tone with them!

[ajzjmsmom]

Originally Posted by treeg26

I've told her to talk to me the same way she talks to her friends - I know she isn't using that tone with them!

We always say "if you want to be hateful to someone be hateful to your friends"

[Katiana]

Originally Posted by ajzjmsmom

How many of the regular posters on here have teenage kids or have had teenage kids?

I have raised two daughters, now 23 and 26.

[Marlow]

I have a 12-year-old daughter and appreciate the advice on here. My biggest problem is trying not to engage in the arguing, but to walk away. It's something I have to remind myself about often.

And it's not that we argue all the time or that she's disrespectful all the time. But we do have our days. For the most part though, I enjoy her.

[cynderella]

Originally Posted by ajzjmsmom

We always say "if you want to be hateful to someone be hateful to your friends"

I understand what you are trying to say but there must be a better way than using the word "hateful".

[ajzjmsmom]

Originally Posted by cynderella

I understand what you are trying to say but there must be a better way than using the word "hateful".

No, there wasn't any better word to use, his words were hateful and that is what it took to get the message across to him. I figured using hateful was alot better than cussing at him.