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Old 02-15-2011, 07:26 PM
 
Location: S. Florida
1,100 posts, read 2,585,461 times
Reputation: 1413

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My husband "caught" my 6 daughter with her 6 year old "boyfriend" with their arms around one another and kissing on the lips. He lost his composure and started screaming at our daughter. Then he went to tell his parents. They sort of down played it.

My daughter of course started crying hysterically and ran out of the room. The boy looked befuddled and told my son that "they have not broken up, but now things are complicated."

I am torn between laughing, and feeling a little unsettled. How much does a six year old really understand that what they were doing was wrong. We all kiss on the lips. Maybe she thought that since she kisses daddy on the lips, it would be ok to kiss her friend on the lips too? I am not sure how to react.

Suggestions??
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Old 02-15-2011, 08:05 PM
 
Location: THE USA
3,254 posts, read 5,258,181 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2justynsarah View Post
My husband "caught" my 6 daughter with her 6 year old "boyfriend" with their arms around one another and kissing on the lips. He lost his composure and started screaming at our daughter. Then he went to tell his parents. They sort of down played it.

My daughter of course started crying hysterically and ran out of the room. The boy looked befuddled and told my son that "they have not broken up, but now things are complicated."

I am torn between laughing, and feeling a little unsettled. How much does a six year old really understand that what they were doing was wrong. We all kiss on the lips. Maybe she thought that since she kisses daddy on the lips, it would be ok to kiss her friend on the lips too? I am not sure how to react.

Suggestions??
I wouldn't read to much into it. They were only kissing and like you said, she sees you do it. Tell her now we don't do that and see what happens. There are SOME terrible stories of 2nd graders having oral sex in class, but that was in the ghetto and I am sure they were exposed to something in order to know ALL about that.
Just give your child time to prove she won't do it again.
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Old 02-15-2011, 08:59 PM
 
Location: BK All Day
4,480 posts, read 8,317,230 times
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Ummm when I was about that age I kissed my mom on the lips, like really kissed her, because I had seen two people doing it and she had told me it was done to people you love. Well I loved her so why not! She explained to me that when you are married you kiss like that. It really made sense to my little brain.
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Old 02-15-2011, 09:08 PM
 
Location: Summerville, SC
1,149 posts, read 3,721,213 times
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LOL.

Yeah, if you kiss your daughter on the lips, she probably thinks nothing of kissing someone she really likes on the lips - completely innocent. Shame your husband didn't snap a picture instead of snapping, literally. Might be a good time for a gentle talk, and maybe stop kissing her yourselves on the lips.
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Old 02-15-2011, 09:13 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 88,958,716 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ohiogirl22 View Post
Ummm when I was about that age I kissed my mom on the lips, like really kissed her, because I had seen two people doing it and she had told me it was done to people you love. Well I loved her so why not! She explained to me that when you are married you kiss like that. It really made sense to my little brain.
This thread is one good argument for why parents not kissing their children on the lips.

At least not lip-kissing teaches the children boundaries and doesnt lead them to believe that lip kissing is something people do to anyone. LOL

OP, your husband overreacted. I'm glad the boy's parents downplayed it. How should you react? Like the boy's parents, not your husband.
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Old 02-15-2011, 09:42 PM
 
Location: Liberal Coast
4,271 posts, read 4,983,848 times
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No one in my family kissed me on the lips. However, I did try to kiss my "boyfriend" when I was about six. We were going on a ride at our town festival that would be inside and dark. I thought to myself, "I'm going to kiss him on this ride." I think his mom figured I had that planned, too, because she stuck his younger brother in between us on the ride. I ended up kissing the wrong kid. It was very traumatic. I will say, though, that we were more serious than most kids that age about our "relationship." We planned our wedding, and discussed some things. The only problem that I could find at the time was that he was Catholic, and I wasn't. That went out the window. Haha. The day that kid moved was a horrible day for me. None of our parents got mad or anything.

Last edited by psr13; 02-15-2011 at 10:05 PM..
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Old 02-15-2011, 09:50 PM
 
Location: 38°14′45″N 122°37′53″W
4,152 posts, read 9,579,339 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
This thread is one good argument for why parents not kissing their children on the lips.

At least not lip-kissing teaches the children boundaries and doesnt lead them to believe that lip kissing is something people do to anyone. LOL

OP, your husband overreacted. I'm glad the boy's parents downplayed it. How should you react? Like the boy's parents, not your husband.
Well Hopes, I half agree with you here.

I don't think that kissing your kids on the lips "teaches the children boundaries" at all, it merely skirts the issue and could have more of an affect on the kid if said child is a very sensitive and observant one.

Some families kiss on the lips others don't. Period.

I do agree however that the husband totally overreacted. Projecting there much dad?

Not the way to handle it at all. Clearly a discussion with both children just after he "caught" them would've been ideal.

Talking about feelings and kissing on the cheek perhaps would've been where I started with this.

Your husband, OP, has got some 'splainin' to do to your daughter, that's for sure.
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Old 02-15-2011, 11:26 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 88,958,716 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bellalunatic View Post
I don't think that kissing your kids on the lips "teaches the children boundaries" at all, it merely skirts the issue and could have more of an affect on the kid if said child is a very sensitive and observant one.
I didn't say that kissing kids on the lips teaches children boundaries. I said that NOT kissing children on the lips teaches them boundaries.

If you simply mistyped, I disagree that it skirts the issue. Most parents who chose to not kiss on the lips tell their children that lip kissing is for marriage.

Regardless, I was joking half heartedly because Ohiogirl's post was relevant.

I totally agree with you on how the OP's husband handled it inappropriately. She's probably a very confused little girl right now because it was purely innocent.
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Old 02-15-2011, 11:36 PM
 
Location: 38°14′45″N 122°37′53″W
4,152 posts, read 9,579,339 times
Reputation: 3398
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
I didn't say that kissing kids on the lips teaches children boundaries. I said that NOT kissing children on the lips teaches them boundaries.

If you simply mistyped, I disagree that it skirts the issue. Most parents who chose to not kiss on the lips tell their children that lip kissing is for marriage.

Regardless, I was joking half heartedly because Ohiogirl's post was relevant.

I totally agree with you on how the OP's husband handled it inappropriately. She's probably a very confused little girl right now because it was purely innocent.
Yep. I did misstype. I still don't agree that NOT kissing them on the lips teaches them boundaries.

Explaining that kissing on the lips is for marriage certainly won't stop anything.
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Old 02-16-2011, 12:22 AM
 
43,012 posts, read 88,958,716 times
Reputation: 30256
Quote:
Originally Posted by bellalunatic View Post
Yep. I did misstype. I still don't agree that NOT kissing them on the lips teaches them boundaries.

Explaining that kissing on the lips is for marriage certainly won't stop anything.
How can you be so sure? Afterall, it worked for Ohiogirl!

The OP was already worried that her daughter is confused by family lip kissing.

Maybe you missed the discussion that prompted my comments. Here they are:

Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2justynsarah View Post
Maybe she thought that since she kisses daddy on the lips, it would be ok to kiss her friend on the lips too?
Quote:
Originally Posted by ohiogirl22 View Post
Ummm when I was about that age I kissed my mom on the lips, like really kissed her, because I had seen two people doing it and she had told me it was done to people you love. Well I loved her so why not! She explained to me that when you are married you kiss like that. It really made sense to my little brain.
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