U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-16-2011, 10:10 AM
 
Location: NC
1,696 posts, read 3,848,093 times
Reputation: 1852

Advertisements

stop the naps
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-16-2011, 11:22 AM
 
3,742 posts, read 2,922,249 times
Reputation: 4683
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deez Nuttz View Post
Ok now this has gotten too far. I do not know what to do. She needs to learn throwing things at people is wrong, and it hurts and it could cause damage if she were to have throw in at a window or something.

However how are you suppose to keep a 2.5 year old from throwing things short of taking away everything she has? (which will only cause more issues I'm afraid)

Well, do you punish her for throwing things?

As in: put her in time out, take away TV privileges, swat her bump (gasp!), etc?

Why is she not still in a crib? I know everyone's kids are different, but both my DC were in the crib until 3 1/2....and they never climbed out, either. It makes them feel safe.

You could try a "dutch door" on her room. Keep the bottom half closed so she will stay in her room, but leave the top half open so she can feel connected to you. Take all the toys out of her room and only let her have books at bedtime (except for her stuffed animals or dolls she sleeps with).

Also, have you checked with your pediatrician to rule out a medical condition?

As for the potty training, 2 1/2 is old enough, especially for girls. If she is your first, she may not show interest on her own. You have to put her in panties and force the issue (not necessarily at night).
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-16-2011, 11:42 AM
 
9,056 posts, read 6,728,169 times
Reputation: 11008
Quote:
Originally Posted by calgirlinnc View Post
Well, do you punish her for throwing things?

As in: put her in time out, take away TV privileges, swat her bump (gasp!), etc?

Why is she not still in a crib? I know everyone's kids are different, but both my DC were in the crib until 3 1/2....and they never climbed out, either. It makes them feel safe.

You could try a "dutch door" on her room. Keep the bottom half closed so she will stay in her room, but leave the top half open so she can feel connected to you. Take all the toys out of her room and only let her have books at bedtime (except for her stuffed animals or dolls she sleeps with).

Also, have you checked with your pediatrician to rule out a medical condition?

As for the potty training, 2 1/2 is old enough, especially for girls. If she is your first, she may not show interest on her own. You have to put her in panties and force the issue (not necessarily at night).
I'm sorry - I just wanted to jump in here. That's not necessarily true. My daughter potty trained without any issues at all at 3 after trying fruitlessly to start her before she was interested. Don't force the issue until you have to, if you have to.

OP - is there any reason to put her to bed at 8 if she was used to going to bed at 9? I'm not sure why somebody told you it had to be 8, but if 9 was working for you I'd stick with that.

Plus, I agree about naps. Naps may not be necessary by 2.5 and if you eliminate them you may have better results at bedtime.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-16-2011, 11:56 AM
 
Location: Heart of Oklahoma
1,173 posts, read 1,293,613 times
Reputation: 466
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deez Nuttz View Post
I dunno...we used to put her to bed at 9 but we were advised that was too late and 8 was the more appropriate time. Also she has issues with waking up at night and calling for us. We tell her to go back to bed. She usually does. Sometimes she doesn't.
Who told you 9 PM was too late? I don't think anyone can tell you a time is too early or too late. Every family is different when it comes to work, school, daycare, etc schedules. My son, who is age 4 going to be 5 in May , has had a 9 PM bedtime since he was two. Now that he's in kindergarten he's more tired and puts himself to bed at around 8:30. The most important thing is to pick a routine and stick to it. Kids thrive on repetition. And if she misbehaves, put her little booty in time out. 1 minute per their age. If she gets up, put her back and start the timer over. Don't speak to her until she finishes the full 2 minutes and 30 seconds. Then, after she's done, you explain to her why she was in trouble and if she understands. Followed by lots and hugs and kisses!!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-16-2011, 12:50 PM
 
Location: Earth
4,227 posts, read 20,304,126 times
Reputation: 2210
Quote:
Originally Posted by ADVentive View Post
1- The bath is often suggested as a wind-down activity for before bed, but for many children it actually riles them up. Try doing her bath at some other time in the day. If your wife is at home, there is plenty of other opportunity for the bath besides right before bed.

3- I agree with the quiet time suggestion. After we say goodnight, my daughter is allowed to keep the lamp on and play with quiet toys and books in her bed. We close the door and she falls asleep when she is ready. We go in later and tuck her in and turn her light off. It doesn't have to be a battle.
Once we put her to bed she usually gets up and doesn't fall asleep right away. We do turn on her fan and night lite. We don't shut the door b/c she will freak out and cry. We are considering trying to bathe her right after dinner and then letting her play and maybe holding her just before bed.

Quote:
Originally Posted by suedonym View Post
stop the naps
Aren't little kids supposed to take naps?

Quote:
Originally Posted by calgirlinnc View Post
Well, do you punish her for throwing things?

As in: put her in time out, take away TV privileges, swat her bump (gasp!), etc?

Why is she not still in a crib? I know everyone's kids are different, but both my DC were in the crib until 3 1/2....and they never climbed out, either. It makes them feel safe.

You could try a "dutch door" on her room. Keep the bottom half closed so she will stay in her room, but leave the top half open so she can feel connected to you. Take all the toys out of her room and only let her have books at bedtime (except for her stuffed animals or dolls she sleeps with).

Also, have you checked with your pediatrician to rule out a medical condition?

As for the potty training, 2 1/2 is old enough, especially for girls. If she is your first, she may not show interest on her own. You have to put her in panties and force the issue (not necessarily at night).
Yes we do put her in time out. I don't think corporal punishment works much anymore. She was in a fit of rage due to me taking her toys away in an attempt to get her to straighten up.

We do have a metal gated door to her room in which she can look out it and the gate swings open. $60 at Wal mart.

As for a crib....well because we were supposed to have had another baby (this time a boy) so we were going to give him his sister's crib. We ended up buying her a toddler bed. Now I don't know if she'd even bother sleeping in a crib. She's not slept in it for at least 6 months. Should we put her back in it? (sadly her brother died in utero)

Quote:
Originally Posted by FinsterRufus View Post
OP - is there any reason to put her to bed at 8 if she was used to going to bed at 9? I'm not sure why somebody told you it had to be 8, but if 9 was working for you I'd stick with that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by proudvoterofObama View Post
Who told you 9 PM was too late? I don't think anyone can tell you a time is too early or too late.
These people said that our 9 o clock routine was too late:

How to deal with a toddler who doesn't sleep thru the night?

Quote:
Try moving her nap up earlier in the day. 9 seems a little late (to me) for a 2 year old
Quote:
I concur about going to bed at 9 pm....it seems a bit late for 2 yr old.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-16-2011, 01:00 PM
 
1,302 posts, read 1,530,270 times
Reputation: 1916
Please don't listen to people on the internet and take their word as gospel. If you listened to all my parenting advice, poor Dorthys head would explode.

You can learn little tips and hear some alternative methods, but only you know your child. If she was doing well at 9, then put her to bed at 9. There are no sleep police

With everything in parenting, do what works best for your family and go with it. If someone else doesn't approve, who cares? They are not dealing with a child using their face as target practice.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-16-2011, 01:31 PM
 
3,742 posts, read 2,922,249 times
Reputation: 4683
OP, So sorry for your loss.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-16-2011, 07:20 PM
 
Location: Earth
4,227 posts, read 20,304,126 times
Reputation: 2210
Thanks, we've been taking it day by day. Also someone asked why we don't keep our toddler in a crib anymore...my wife has mentioned that she can pretty much almost crawl out of it now.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-17-2011, 01:42 PM
 
32,538 posts, read 29,351,992 times
Reputation: 32238
First of all, I am very sorry for your loss.




What we have here is the classic power struggle between a 2 1/2-year old and her parents. She's testing her limits with you. Seeing how much she can get away with. A child that age can be dead tired and still look you in the eye and say, "No. Not going to bed!" then run around the room like she has a flock of bees in her hair.

You have to show her you are the boss. Not her. Do you have a command and control voice? You may have to use it. She'll cry like a banshee and the neighbors will think it's revile but she has to learn that bedtime means bedtime. And she absolutely cannot be allowed to throw things. This is where the attention getting swat on the bottom is put to good use. (Then you stear her right into her bedroom.) She'll scream and the tears will flow but if you don't do it now you're going to have a 16-year old who thinks she's the boss. Put her in bed. Say her prayers with her. Give her a cuddle. Let her know you love her. But she has to learn she's not the boss and throwing toys at Daddy isn't acceptable.

(They always pick right before bed when Mom and Dad are pooped and want some alone time to pull this stuff. It's in their handbook.)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-17-2011, 02:20 PM
 
2,779 posts, read 4,499,591 times
Reputation: 5024
What DewDrop said.

Also, maybe give her some control over the process. At 2.5 she can be sleeping pullups and getting herself in her pjs. My daughter was a control nut at that age so I would lay her pjs out, tell her to get dressed and leave the room. She wanted to be a big kid so badly she would do it, I would help with buttons etc. If she didn't get dressed I would tell her that I would have to dress her and since that was the ultimate insult she usually cooperated.

Throwing things is a spanking offense imo.

Oh and I do think sleep in vital for all kids, my 4 and 6yr olds are "lights out" at 7:30pm. I'd give up the nap before a good sleep at night...after all they have to sleep at night for the rest of their lives
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top