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You have to show her you are the boss. Not her. Do you have a command and control voice? You may have to use it. She'll cry like a banshee and the neighbors will think it's revile but she has to learn that bedtime means bedtime. And she absolutely cannot be allowed to throw things. This is where the attention getting swat on the bottom is put to good use. (Then you stear her right into her bedroom.) She'll scream and the tears will flow but if you don't do it now you're going to have a 16-year old who thinks she's the boss. Put her in bed. Say her prayers with her. Give her a cuddle. Let her know you love her. But she has to learn she's not the boss and throwing toys at Daddy isn't acceptable.
I do have a loud voice, and I can yell. I don't know how well it affects her. When she threw the toy at me I was really pissed off. I got about a foot from her and yelled at her like if I were a drill sergeant drilling his Army troops. She did display a look of "oh damn" but it didn't make her ball up and cry that I saw. Also when this all happened she was already in her bedroom.
Sadly in this day and age it seems you can't properly discipline a child without getting social services called on you. When I was growing up in the 80's you still got paddled at school w/o parental consent and then you got flogged with a belt when you got home. Well at least I did. My old man was a strict person who made sure I feared him. No i don't believe getting flogged with a belt is right but darned if it didn't keep me in line.
So I try not to even spank my kid unless I really have to, and as for the yelling, my wife is overly concerned the neighbors will rat me out for yelling at our child.
Sorry, but getting in her face and yelling won't get you what you want - all you'll do is scare the living daylights out of her... or give her the idea that yelling is how people communicate. Do you really want your daughter to be frightened of you?
Command and control doesn't mean shouting and angry.
You need to be firm and consistent... and very, very patient.
Command and control is 90% attitude and 10% voice. My dad had one that he'd been taught to use on PW's in WWII. And he didn't hesitate to use it on a house full of unruly kids. He never screamed and he never got 6" from our faces.
But when he walked into the room with a certain look on his face we knew we'd gone too far. The pitch of his voice lowered and we knew we were all going to be in big trouble if we didn't do exactly what he said. He never hit us. The veins in his neck never bulged out. But he was the boss.
You don't need to scream at your daughter. But you somehow need to convey to her that she isn't the boss. She thinks she is. Most 2 1/2-year olds think they are. She's testing you. Be consistent. Be firm. Be loving. But let her know that even though you think she's the greatest thing since sliced bread she isn't in charge of bed time. You are.
This is a big deal. If you can make her understand that you are the boss, without being abusive, you will have her respect the rest of her life. Right now she's soaking everything up. All of us have been through this. As my dad would say, Hang tough.
Attitude. Firmness. Consistency. And then a hug and a kiss and dry her tears because there are going to be plenty. If you stick to your guns you'll get throught this.
We did family bed, so I'm prolly not much help for you. We never had any sleeping issues.
I wonder if she's needing to be worn-out more during the day? Like swimming or gymnastics classes or something? Or even a family walk or run together after dinner? We love taking night walks as a family, too.
I wonder how many of you who had a toddler so bad she woke up at 1 am screaming and wouldn't even let her mother leave the room (after going in) at night without screaming her head off plus wanted to stay up all night long with the lights on. I'm serious. If her mom even tried to leave the room she would literally throw herself on the floor and go into a huge tirade, screaming her head off. The sad fact was the household also had 2 other adults that needed sleep to drive 80 miles the next day to catch a flight. That meant mom literally had to sleep on the floor while the child played in her room so others could sleep. It's enough to make you either give in or want to strangle the kid. The mom is an emotional mess because of it. This can't be normal.
I wonder how many of you who had a toddler so bad she woke up at 1 am screaming and wouldn't even let her mother leave the room (after going in) at night without screaming her head off plus wanted to stay up all night long with the lights on. I'm serious. If her mom even tried to leave the room she would literally throw herself on the floor and go into a huge tirade, screaming her head off. The sad fact was the household also had 2 other adults that needed sleep to drive 80 miles the next day to catch a flight. That meant mom literally had to sleep on the floor while the child played in her room so others could sleep. It's enough to make you either give in or want to strangle the kid. The mom is an emotional mess because of it. This can't be normal.
It is torture and it is awful, but you have to let her throw the tantrum and not give in. Good luck, I feel for you
It is torture and it is awful, but you have to let her throw the tantrum and not give in. Good luck, I feel for you
Well for the most part we do let her cry it out, but it really concerns me. Yes you are right it is pure torture. I mean we will be sleeping at night and she will sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and cry. sometimes we can tell her to go back to bed w/o getting up and it works. Othertimes such as last night she would not go back to sleep and would scream and kick and cry and throw fits. And when she throws fits, she often gets into what I would call a pure rage. Last night she wanted a sucker.
Before we put her to bed she was jumping on the couch which we do not want or let her do. I put her in time out, which is inside a play pen that she's about to crawl out of. She was getting so mad. I wished I had it on film. I'd have to go over to her and look at her as she was trying to climb out to get her to stop climbing. Nothing I can say or do gets her attention, that's how bad it is.
It's even worse when she starts her antics out in public and everyone is looking at us like "why can't you shut your kid up".
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