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Old 02-15-2011, 08:52 PM
 
Location: Earth
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We have a 2.5 year old toddler who gives us a hard time going to bed. Her routine is she's up at 7 am every day (she gets herself up) and takes a nap at 12:30-2:30 or so and gets herself up. Then at 7:45 we give her a bath and put her in bed by 8 pm.

When we get her out of the tub and to her room, she wants to run around, jump on the bed...instead of laying down on the floor for us to put her diaper and pajamas on. (she's not yet potty trained - we're working on it but she's not shown much of an interest in learning)

In the past she used to lay down and cooperate for us but now she doesn't and tonight it only got worse.

My wife tries to get her to lay down but she won't. I then tried to get her to stay down but that didn't work so I decided to take away her toys, telling her she could have them back when she cooperated.

Three times she came at me wanting the toys and I'd pull them away to where she couldn't get them. Twice she'd throw herself on the floor and cry, scream, kick...you name it. The third time when I wouldn't let her have her toys, she picked up another toy and threw it right at me. it was a hard plastic doodle pad that hit me right below my right eye and it's now swollen up, despite me keeping ice on it.

Ok now this has gotten too far. I do not know what to do. She needs to learn throwing things at people is wrong, and it hurts and it could cause damage if she were to have throw in at a window or something.

However how are you suppose to keep a 2.5 year old from throwing things short of taking away everything she has? (which will only cause more issues I'm afraid)
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Old 02-15-2011, 09:18 PM
 
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She's getting 11 hours of sleep at night and 2 hours during the day. That sounds like a lot of sleep. Could it be that she's just not tired at bedtime?
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Old 02-15-2011, 09:25 PM
 
Location: Earth
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I dunno...we used to put her to bed at 9 but we were advised that was too late and 8 was the more appropriate time. Also she has issues with waking up at night and calling for us. We tell her to go back to bed. She usually does. Sometimes she doesn't.
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Old 02-15-2011, 09:31 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Deez Nuttz View Post
I dunno...we used to put her to bed at 9 but we were advised that was too late and 8 was the more appropriate time. Also she has issues with waking up at night and calling for us. We tell her to go back to bed. She usually does. Sometimes she doesn't.
How long has it been since you switched bedtime from 9PM to 8PM? Did she go down easier at the later time? Personally, I don't think that there is a right or wrong bedtime for kids, just whatever works best for your family.

How does she do at nap time? Does she go down easy or resist?
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Old 02-15-2011, 10:24 PM
 
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It's just a very normal stage called "terrible twos". Google it and you can find lots of articles on how you might be able to deal with it. It may be that the switch in routine is bothering her or that there is also something else missing from her room during her bedtime that she is trying to find. It can even be something as minor as a stuffed animal, a favorite blanket or a pillow (or even a pillow case) that is still in the laundry as of this time. Most of the time, they'll quickly adapt to the new time or forget about the missing toy/item though. I also think the total number of hours she sleeps is more important than a set bedtime. Unless you want or need her to be up by 6am instead of her usual 7am, I don't think it's necessary to adjust bedtime.
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Old 02-15-2011, 10:48 PM
 
Location: Australia
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I'm not sure that taking toys away as punishment will work very well at that age. She's too young IMO. Sounds to me like she either doesn't need the extra hour of sleep, or she has more energy than she's using up during the day.

While bath-time often settles a small child down ready for sleep, it doesn't seem to be the case for you. If she were my child, I'd probably try starting the bath routine slightly earlier - let her jump around and play for a little while, then wind her down by reading her a story or two when she gets into bed. She will probably love story time and will happily hop into bed on demand!
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Old 02-16-2011, 04:46 AM
 
Location: Earth
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We used to do the bath time earlier, like about an hour before bed. The thing is our bathroom was once downstairs. Then we moved to another house that had a bathroom upstairs. We can't afford to move again. So we decided to do bath time in conjunction with bed time. We did it this way to keep from having to go up and down stairs as it's harder on my wife than I. We don't even play with her the last hr. before bed to keep from overstimulating her.

We used to put her to bed at 9 pm but now it's 8 to 8:30 pm. someone here told us an hour earlier than 9 is what it should be and when she gets a little older we can switch back to 9 pm. We've been doing the 8 o clock bedtime thing for about 4 months now.

Last night she woke up at 3 am and kept us up an hour. She would want for us to say hi to her every 2 minutes or would ask if we we're coming to get her out of her room or better yet would mock my wife as when she wakes us up (her room is right across the hall from ours) and my wife (from her bedsides) has to tell her to "go back to bed I'll get you in the morning". To which my daughter will say on and on "momma get you in the morning?"

One thing we do during bath time is she will sit in the tub and play with her toys while getting bathed. She's usually not in the tub any longer than 5-10 minutes. However sometimes she really pre occupies herself with playing with toys in the tub. She'll take her plastic blocks and such and put them into a bucket and then dump them back out and put them back in. She used to have color crayons in the tub but she's worn them down so she's not doing that, albeit she loves coloring. So now it's the blocks in the bucket. I don't know if maybe this is rejuvenating some spark in her or not.

But as soon as we get her from bathroom to bed, that's when she is running around full speed it seems. She doesn't want to stay still for anything. I don't think she'd even stay still long enough for a story. Just getting her to lie still for 1 minute to get her diaper and clothes on is a task in itself.

On a normal basis we'd let her sleep in up until maybe 8 am or so. But she tends to to wake up at 7 am on her own. My wife is a stay at home mom and we live on a military installation in which revile is sounded over a loudspeaker outside our home every week day morning at 7:30.
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Old 02-16-2011, 05:01 AM
 
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I had quiet time - you can be in your room - playing - looking at books coloring - as long as you are quiet. It gave my 2 year olds some say and allowed them to begin gaining their independence by choosing which quiet time activity they wanted. Not quiet - meant you were so tired you needed to go to bed - worked like a charm.

I also would take them out evening time and let them exhaust themselves - just in time for bath and bed. I used to do the same for weekend naps - I would take them out in the height of midday - LOL!

As for getting up at 3 am - I had one like that - I told him to go to his room and play - or the playroom to watch tv - its sounds horrible - but I needed my sleep - he grew out of it, and now is a great sleeper - it lasted a few months.

Finally - she may be getting night terrors - both of my kids got this a few times while they were younger - I cant remember the ages but im sure you could search - it doesnt sound like night terrors - but you never know.
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Old 02-16-2011, 05:39 AM
 
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Oh, I remember those days! It is a test of love, patience, and parenting skills. No easy answer for you. I had a dog for my kids, and his "job" was to tuck everyone in, so then the rule was after you were tucked in your room with Sam, you stayed there, played with the dog, listened to music, could look at books with Sam, whatever...but you were there. He was a great kid dog. Quiet, gentle. I also put the cat in there too, so maybe you should get some pets. It worked for me for four kids, three boys...
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Old 02-16-2011, 10:06 AM
 
Location: Hillsborough
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1- The bath is often suggested as a wind-down activity for before bed, but for many children it actually riles them up. Try doing her bath at some other time in the day. If your wife is at home, there is plenty of other opportunity for the bath besides right before bed.

2- I agree that she just may not be tired yet. Around that age many children start going to bed later and later until they cut out their nap, and then they go to bed earlier again. Maybe you can cut her nap shorter if you want her to go to bed earlier. Or just accept the later bedtime. Don't set the bedtime based on what people tell you it "should" be. Set it based on what your child's needs are.

3- I agree with the quiet time suggestion. After we say goodnight, my daughter is allowed to keep the lamp on and play with quiet toys and books in her bed. We close the door and she falls asleep when she is ready. We go in later and tuck her in and turn her light off. It doesn't have to be a battle.

4- As for the night-waking. There are tons of reasons that kids wake in the night. Adults wake in the night too. We all have needs at night, whether it is because we have to use the toilet (or have a wet diaper), or want a drink of water, or we are too hot or too cold, or we just want assurance that our family members are still safe. As adults, we know how to take care of our night-time needs by ourselves and we go back to sleep without even noticing that we woke up. Toddlers cannot take care of all of their needs by themselves. They still need our assistance to identify and solve their problems, and that is part of our role as parents, even at night-time. As your child gets older, she will become more able to deal with her night-time needs on her own. But for now, if her diaper is wet or if she's thirsty or cold, she still needs you to help her solve that problem. If you take care of it swiftly, she is more likely to go right back to sleep. But if you delay, she is more likely to fully wake, and then have trouble falling back to sleep. The same way you would in the same situation, I'm sure.
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