Worried About Potential Move Impacting our Kids...

[no kudzu]

I was an Army Brat and we moved almost every 2 years. It was very unpleasant and we were all unhappy. But my parents were in a miserable marriage and so everybody in the family was miserable and would have been even if we never moved.

I was first gonna say do whatever it takes to keep your family together. but now I've reconsidered knowing how much travel he will be doing. I think I would stay and keep the family home where it is, don't uproot the kids and let hubby base himself in your home and he will have to check out extended stay lodges for the short periods he will not be traveling. Or maybe he can work from home when he is not traveling. That is what my DH does and it works out fine.

Good luck. With DH gone so much you will need a support group and it sounds like staying put might give that to you.

[FinsterRufus]

Originally Posted by no kudzu

I was an Army Brat and we moved almost every 2 years. It was very unpleasant and we were all unhappy. But my parents were in a miserable marriage and so everybody in the family was miserable and would have been even if we never moved.

I was first gonna say do whatever it takes to keep your family together. but now I've reconsidered knowing how much travel he will be doing. I think I would stay and keep the family home where it is, don't uproot the kids and let hubby base himself in your home and he will have to check out extended stay lodges for the short periods he will not be traveling. Or maybe he can work from home when he is not traveling. That is what my DH does and it works out fine.

Good luck. With DH gone so much you will need a support group and it sounds like staying put might give that to you.

I tend to agree with this. If hubby is going to be gone that much then maybe it's not worth it to uproot everybody.

Especially if you're going to have to move to somewhere less than desirable for you. If he's gone and you hate where you live, that sounds like a recipe for resentment down the road.

The job market is a constantly evolving thing. Perhaps you could look at this separation as short term, and he can find a job closer to home in a couple of years when things pick up a little.

At the very least, I'd wait and make sure your husband is going to stay in the job before I made a major move. Give him a couple of months to settle in. If it's not a good fit for him for any reason then you would have done all of that moving and lease-breaking for nothing.

[WhereTheSidewalkEnds]

Originally Posted by calgirlinnc

I will try to develop a positive attitude about it. I wish it were a move to someplace exciting like, Seattle or Denver or Santa Fe or something.

This made me smile.... I never thought of Denver as exciting. We live a pretty boring life

I would say that waiting to see how much travel your husband really ends up doing and how long the stretches are that he is gone. Also, when he is home, if they require him to be in the office, or if he can work from home a bit to make up for being gone.

If he really will be gone for 2 or 3 week stretches where you wouldn't even see him on the weekends, then that may change things a bit. You have a few months before schools out anyway to see how it's going to go.

I have friend who's husband is gone almost every week. He is home on the weekends though, but travels about 3 weeks out of the month - and is gone the whole week. It is wearing on her big time. And she has older kids, not even little ones. Just having everything on her shoulders is really, really hard. And she doesn't exactly like where she lives which adds to it.

[calgirlinnc]

Originally Posted by jkcoop

This made me smile.... I never thought of Denver as exciting. We live a pretty boring life

I would say that waiting to see how much travel your husband really ends up doing and how long the stretches are that he is gone. Also, when he is home, if they require him to be in the office, or if he can work from home a bit to make up for being gone.

Denver is exciting compared to where we're going! I guess it's all relative, though. We LOVE where we live now. But there are plenty of worse places than where the job is.

The company requires DH to live there (it is part of the agreement). Like you all said, we have a few months to see how it goes before school ends and we have to make a decision.

I have always believed that if one is a SAHM, like myself, then one follows the breadwinner, and if you have to go where the job is, then you do so. I haven't worked outside the home in 9 years, so....

DH has been in a niche industry that has lost at least 75% of its business due to the economy/housing burst. Companies are shutting down left and right. It has been a very difficult 3 years, financially. We have been able to keep our kids in private school but have sacrificed everything else to do so.

It is a miracle, practically, that not only he got this new job, but that a job like this exists. He gets to use all his education and training but in a new direction. So I am happy for him.

I totally get that about so much of the burden being on me. When he got the offer, I started crying, as reality settled in. There really is no choice, though. When you go from a 6 figure income to not being able to go to the grocery store, it is quite humbling.

Maybe after we visit the schools in the new city and look at some houses, we will feel better about the decision.

Thanks, everyone.