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View Poll Results: Should We Move Sooner, Later, or Not at All?
Move after Current School Year (Summer 2011) 19 95.00%
Move after Next School Year (Summer 2012) 0 0%
Don't Move and Just See DH on weekends 1 5.00%
Voters: 20. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 02-16-2011, 03:56 PM
 
3,746 posts, read 2,927,221 times
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I posted this under general moving issues but am getting no response....thought you all might be responsive....


Should We Stay or Should We Go (Now)....?
Hello All....

DH just accepted a new job in a city about 4 hours away from our current city.

It is a good job, good pay and benefits, plus we really need it. (And you know how the job market is).

We have lived in that city before and it was not our favorite place, but it is not the worst place either.

The new job involves a good deal of overseas travel, so DH might be gone for 2 weeks at a time.

The 2 kids and I will stay in our current city through the current school year.

However, we can't decide if we should plan on staying in our current city one whole extra year for the following reasons:

1) We are concerned about our children, primarily our 8 year old, having to change schools. Our 8 year son has had to change schools twice in the last 2 years....we pulled him out of traditional school in the middle of last year, switched to a Montessori school, and then moved to the best Montessori school we could find. If we move at the end of this school year, he will have to change schools again. If we wait, he could finish out the cycle of the 3 year Montessori program, and then change schools.

Our 4 y.o. is in preschool and loves it; if we wait a year she would change schools at the start of Kindergarten. However, she is very gregarious and would have no trouble making new friends.

2) If we don't move right away, DH would have to pay extra to rent an apt. in the new city (the employer will cover a few months but not the year plus we would be looking at). The children would not see DH very often at all and I would in essence be a single mother. Also, I don't think this is a very good thing for our marriage.

3) We really love our current city. It is beautiful and we are 15 minutes to the beach.

4) The new city has slightly less expensive housing overall.

5) We have a little over one more year on our lease here....I don't know how hard it would be to break the lease or what kind of money we would be liable for. I would think the landlord could re-lease it easily but that is definitely a potential problem.

So the question is:
Should we move this summer?
Or wait a whole year and be apart a lot and move summer 2012?

Appreciate any perspective you can bring.
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Old 02-16-2011, 04:13 PM
 
Location: Australia
1,492 posts, read 2,657,852 times
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First I would give up on trying to find the "best school".
If the kids have good friends at their current school then that is great.
If dad has taken a job 4 hrs and 15 minutes from the beach then let him go. He must be mad.
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Old 02-16-2011, 04:28 PM
 
3,746 posts, read 2,927,221 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aidxen View Post
If dad has taken a job 4 hrs and 15 minutes from the beach then let him go. He must be mad.
Do you mean "mad" as in crazy?

Not crazy, just broke.

He has been in construction and it's a dead end now.
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Old 02-16-2011, 04:51 PM
 
11,681 posts, read 21,268,360 times
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Move this summer. It is more important for a 4 and 8 year old to have the family be intact and living together, than to be in the "best" school or by the beach or whatever else you said. Even if dad travels a lot, they will still see him more the 2 weeks he is in town (before and after school & on the weekends) than the 2 weekends a month (4 days!!!) they would see him if you stayed another year. 18 months is a REALLY long time to live long-distance to your hubby, too! I would not want to take that stress on at all.

Reality check: kids are pretty resiliant. Kindergarten is a GREAT year to move as most kids finish preschool & Pre-K and then move to a new school for Kindergarten, especially public schools. Your 8 year old will be fine- again, better to have a consistent home life anchoring him than a school program (no matter how great it is).

As for your lease, speak to landlord. I can't imagine you needing to pay more than 1-2 month's rent up front to break your lease, especially if it can be quickly re-rented. You will save more money in the long-run by consolidating into 1 household again.
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Old 02-16-2011, 04:58 PM
 
Location: Australia
1,492 posts, read 2,657,852 times
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If dad is in construction then move to Australia.
We have THE best beaches
and after the summer we have just had (floods, cyclones, fires) there is lots of construction work.
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Old 02-16-2011, 04:58 PM
 
4,541 posts, read 9,504,324 times
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Waiting one more year won't make it any easier on your 8 year old. Keep the family together and move together.
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Old 02-16-2011, 05:05 PM
 
Location: Australia
1,492 posts, read 2,657,852 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jkcoop View Post
Waiting one more year won't make it any easier on your 8 year old. Keep the family together and move together.
I agree
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Old 02-16-2011, 05:32 PM
 
3,842 posts, read 9,248,179 times
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It's like a bandaid...taking it off slower doesn't make it easier.

Move now.

Moving is never easy. Good luck.
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Old 02-16-2011, 05:59 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,148 posts, read 22,139,461 times
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Honestly, moving at 8 most likely won't be horrible. At least not for long. We moved often when I was a child. I don't remember it being truly awful until I was about in 6th grade. Stay together, move as a family.
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Old 02-16-2011, 07:00 PM
 
Location: Bay Area
2,406 posts, read 6,804,327 times
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I know you are being a caring mom and doing the worrying that moms do....but really moving is not that big of a deal, kids are very resillient, I moved our daughter as a teen across the country and we're about to do it again. Maybe because I moved as a child as well, but I don't think its that much of an issue, good schools and good friends can be found anywhere, particularly if you are like us and put them in private, which it sounds like you do, then you can control the type of school/education they have. They will do great.
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