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Old 02-17-2011, 02:11 PM
 
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Luckily, despite all of his energy and impulse issues, he has never been a tantrum thrower. Thanks goodness!
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Old 02-17-2011, 02:31 PM
 
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hml: I think he hears you and I think he knows what he's supposed to do. (The talking to himself at night is a big clue. He could be saying, "I need to find matches to burn the house down.")

I should say here, I'm not big on medications. Not at that age. Not until you really know you have a problem. Or, shall we say, he has a problem. Others may disagree with me on that, I know.

So after he squirts toothpaste in his sister's ear, what happens to him? Do you punish him? Does he know that there is a price to be paid for pulling stunts like that? And where's he going when he wants to climb out the window?

I still think he needs direction for all that energy and intelligence. (A dumb kid is going to suck at puzzles. He also is not going to have the patience for them.) Do you work on cars? This is a kid who needs to work with his hands. This is also not a boy who is going to "walk with Mommy". Just make sure he doesn't dart out in front of cars. Some kids walk with Mommy. Some don't.

Try not to fall over in a dead faint, but I'm seeing Future Biker. (Not outlaw biker. Heart of gold biker.) This is the kid who is going to have a Harley on the lawn with pieces all over, greasy hands, a smile on his face and plans for the open road when he's 18.
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Old 02-17-2011, 02:39 PM
 
Location: In a house
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So agree with DewDrop. This kid has "give me something to tear apart and put back together" written all over him. He's already a tinkerer, I would encourage that. And his alpha-dog syndrome (yes, I get it), spells leader potential that needs to be refined, not subdued.

I'm not thinking necessarily Harley here, more like Alexander Graham Bell. But it's the same general idea: someone who has a knack for, and an interest in, exploring "what makes things work" and "how can I do something new with these doodads?"
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Old 02-17-2011, 02:41 PM
 
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Thanks DewDrop.
I'm not big on medications either and I would probably homeschool before going that route. However, OT really helped my daughter overcome a lot of her sensory hangups so I'm willing to try it again.

Yes, on punishment. We are pretty strict parents and all behavior gets a consistent and quick consequence. We spank, send to the corner and believe in child labor.

Thanks for your advice. As my neighbor said "well, I guess someone has to jump out of airplanes..."

Thank you ANON - we do provide lots of legos, lincoln log kind of stuff but I will look into more building/tinkering things for him. One of the quirks of adopting is that it is often difficult to understand your child's interests and talents. Its something my husband and I work very hard at but may not do as good a job as we should.
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Old 02-17-2011, 02:57 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hml1976 View Post
Thanks for your advice. As my neighbor said "well, I guess someone has to jump out of airplanes..."
Your neighbor said that? Laughing my head off because my dad and my brother were both Airborne. And both total gear-heads. The more I hear about this little guy the more I like him.

You've got a challenge aead of you, that's for sure. Sounds like you are doing all the right things but you've got a little individual on your hands. Focus all that energy and brain power on something constructive. Go to the library and find books for him on engines and planes and tanks. He has to have something constructive to do or he'll nail his sister's shoes to the floor. This is the kid who is going to be a little different. He's going to have a swagger. They'll love him in Jump School.

You have no idea how hard I am laughing right now. He'd fit right in with my family.
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Old 02-17-2011, 10:22 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hml1976 View Post

The major problem is the inability to listen when he's told not to do something. "No you can't touch Daddy's tools" "No, you can't climb out the window" "You must walk with Mommy"

And impulse issues. Sitting on his sister while she's sleeping and filling her ear with toothpaste, flushing her Barbie down the toilet, "decorating" the counter with toothpaste, moving the table to get on top of the bookshelves.

I should mention that I think he "tries" to behave. I will hear him in his bed at night talking to himself saying things like "I have to be nicer to my sister" or "I'm supposed to stay in bed."
For the NO syndrome - try stating things in a positive rather than a negative way.

*You can use these tools and help daddy build fix this.* Btw, at this age, I think he should be able to touch tools under supervision. Not saws perhaps, but hammers and such. Perhaps dad can take him to home depot or lowes to build a project.

*You can climb on the jungle gym when we go to the park.* *You can climb this tree.* etc.

*Let's jump or hop to the store today.* *Let's use our walking feet to get to the playground. You can run when we get there.*

For the toothpaste issues, I suspect that is sensory. Find something messy he can do. We would set up a table outside for shaving cream or whipping cream play. Toothpaste is also not bad to use and it is not too expensive. Finger paints is another alternative. Then when he does it inappropriately, you can say *we can do messy play soon.* You can even get bathtub paints which will be less messy for cleanup.

For the climbing to the top of the bookcase, have lots of alternatives where he can climb. If you have room, get a junglegym for your back yard or make a tree house with a ladder he can climb. Any play area equipment will help. If you have no room, try to get out to the park frequently for this kind of thing, then you can remind him of where he can climb.

For the flushing the Barbie, you may have to keep sister's toys in a special place he cannot get at without your help. Perhaps a lock on her closet? Also, you may want to allow him to flush the toilet frequently to get the fascination out of his system. Or, you can get him to play with sister by washing the dolls together. Water play is often calming.

Good luck!
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Old 03-02-2011, 03:54 PM
 
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So I wanted to update this thread. We had our son fully evaluated earlier this week and many of my concerns were put to rest. YES he does have some sensory seeking issues and we are going to have a few therapy sessions to find out ways to help him get the input that he needs...thank you to the poster who pointed that out. ADHD was essentially ruled out, apparently he does not have several of the attributes that they look for and his attention span is considered normal for his age. Its just that when he's not focusing on something he's a whirling dervish

Also, he is testing nearly 2yrs above age level pretty much across the board. I was surprised that it was to this extent even though I knew he was a bright kid. So sensory seeking issues combined with a kid who needs a lot of stimulation anyway = my wild and crazy son. I'm not sure how we're going to handle him outside of some therapy but I'm looking into alternative schools (Montessori, Gardner) for him as he gets older.

Thanks all for your comments on this thread, it is amazing that sometimes people on the internet can see things more clearly than I can
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Old 03-02-2011, 04:00 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
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Thanks for the update! Best wishes to you and your son.
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Old 03-02-2011, 04:07 PM
 
Location: here
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Thanks for the update! I'm glad you got some answers. DS7 started OT this week!
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Old 03-02-2011, 05:45 PM
 
Location: In a house
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YAY! Congratulations, your kid is uniquely normal! Along with those alternative schools you mentioned, you might consider the Waldorf schools as well. It's a very very different type of educational system, that has its critics, but I've known graduates who have gone on to accomplish some pretty astounding things. A reason why I suggest this is that they put an emphasis on active learning, rather than passive learning. So instead of looking in a textbook to learn about geology, they go out into the school yard and dig up rocks and explore and examine them. While they're doing that, they -also- learn about the insects growing in the ground, and soil, and why grass is green, and the climate, and they might discuss this in one of three different languages...and then return to the classroom and make sculptures of something they saw that inspired them that day.

So the children are getting a robust, holistic, humanistic education encompassing several subjects at once, while allowing them to be active, and discover things for themselves, and learn HOW to learn.
Again, it has its critics; and definitely not for everyone. I loved learning but hated the standard classroom structure. I might have done well there if I had gone. I did well anyway in traditional classroom education. But I think I might have thrived, in a Waldorf school and been more motivated during college. I was a good student. Just not motivated to do better than simply being good.
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