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your young adult had reinstated communication and maybe more with someone that had hurt her emotionally, physically and financially - and also financially hurt the parents?
The hurt was so severe that poor life choices ensued - change of career, change of location (moved), etc?
Our young adult (daughter) seems to be hiding this from us and has blocked her mom (me) from her Facebook page.
Note: We want her to be happy, however, this person exhibits characteristics that are not positive. Years ago, when she met this person, her life took a nosedive and she made poor decisions.
If anyone has been in this situation, please advise.
(We are not helicopter parents but this concerns us greatly).
your young adult had reinstated communication and maybe more with someone that had hurt her emotionally, physically and financially - and also financially hurt the parents?
The hurt was so severe that poor life choices ensued - change of career, change of location (moved), etc?
Our young adult (daughter) seems to be hiding this from us and has blocked her mom (me) from her Facebook page.
Note: We want her to be happy, however, this person exhibits characteristics that are not positive. Years ago, when she met this person, her life took a nosedive and she made poor decisions.
If anyone has been in this situation, please advise.
(We are not helicopter parents but this concerns us greatly).
Is this the daughter who lives in NY you were looking to get a gift some time earlier???
Isn't she an adult, like in her 20s?? Perhaps, she will resolve it herself. But why would she block you?? Have you been asking her too many questions?
Sometimes we have to accept the fact that our adult children are the ones who make poor life-altering decisions. In other words, you need to stop blaming the boyfriend and acknowledge that your daughter is responsible for whatever happens in her life. It's hard to do. It's so much easier to say "this boyfriend has negative characteristics" and "this boyfriend caused her to do X, Y, and Z." Because it's harder to accept that our children do X, Y and Z.
What do you do? As you already know, you can't force her to do anything. Let her know you're there for her if she ever needs you. Keep loving her. That's all you can do.
If she doesn't apply what you've taught her in younger years, I'm afraid you're just going to have to wait her crash and burn. Don't be upset and try to have an open mind. It's her life and unfortunately she's going to have to open her own eyes, smell the coffee, or however you want to say it to realize she may have done a bad decision (again, as it appears). Be there when she needs you no matter what.
She is an adult. Absent an inability to care for herself - you need to let her make her decisions. If you wish - ensure she knows you are there for her and then you need to let go.
your young adult had reinstated communication and maybe more with someone that had hurt her emotionally, physically and financially - and also financially hurt the parents?
The hurt was so severe that poor life choices ensued - change of career, change of location (moved), etc?
Our young adult (daughter) seems to be hiding this from us and has blocked her mom (me) from her Facebook page.
Note: We want her to be happy, however, this person exhibits characteristics that are not positive. Years ago, when she met this person, her life took a nosedive and she made poor decisions.
If anyone has been in this situation, please advise.
(We are not helicopter parents but this concerns us greatly).
She'll unblock you when she needs more rescuing, you might block her when that time comes.
You need to let her make her own decisions because she's an adult and will make them whether you like it or not but she needs to suffer the consequences of them before she will change.
You're going to have to let her resolve this - or else you're setting a pattern she'll be stuck in forever.
Is this the daughter who lives in NY you were looking to get a gift some time earlier???
Isn't she an adult, like in her 20s?? Perhaps, she will resolve it herself. But why would she block you?? Have you been asking her too many questions?
Some people are toxic. This is one of them. This person also lives in NYC but far from her but they may have run into each other.
We try not to ask too many questions but one day, her Facebook pic looked so sad - it looked like she had been crying - one of my relatives agreed - and I asked her if everything was OK (in a nice way) and she got it out of me where I had seen the picture and then, I was blocked.
If she doesn't apply what you've taught her in younger years, I'm afraid you're just going to have to wait her crash and burn. Don't be upset and try to have an open mind. It's her life and unfortunately she's going to have to open her own eyes, smell the coffee, or however you want to say it to realize she may have done a bad decision (again, as it appears). Be there when she needs you no matter what.
That did happen in 2007 and cost us dearly - over 20K. Result - she moved to NYC.
This person seems to have this power over her - I mean, she was going to go to medical school and even changed directions - it almost like this person wants her to fail. Very toxic, that's all I can say.
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You are correct....
