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Old 02-25-2011, 08:31 AM
 
Location: colorado
2,788 posts, read 4,385,076 times
Reputation: 3314

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My boyfriend daughter is 13 and going thru bullying at school, the girl dont want to go to school, My boyfriend is going to go and have a talk with the school and the parents, I think he should, parents need to know they shouldn't allow or tolerate their kids been bullies,
Apparently his daughter had to use the enhaler the other day, now other girls are calling her a drug addict.
So I pulled up this site maybe it could give them some ideas,

Dealing With Bullying


Bullying has to stop, and kids need to be educated the effects it has.
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Old 02-25-2011, 12:33 PM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
1,164 posts, read 1,735,165 times
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jeepgirl, I'm so sorry that your boyfriend's daughter is going through this. It must be very hard on you all, knowing that there are kids out there that want to hurt her, whether it be physically, verbally, or emotionally.

There's just one question I would like to ask in order to see the picture more clearly: Has she stood up for herself when the kids called her names and said mean things to her? Like with the inhaler incident, did she say to those girls "My inhaler is for my asthma. Now how does that make me a drug addict? You need to grow up and learn a few things." or something of the sort? If she is not standing up for herself then she really needs to do so. Kids can be really cruel, but she can't let them have power over her. Bullies feed on others' insecurities and pick on them to make themselves feel better. Unfortunately, this doesn't end at school and happens in adulthood also.

Although you and you bf can't be with the daughter in school, have these girls bullied her online also? Cyber-bullying has become a big problem over the years. I would ask your boyfriend's daughter if she's being bullied online too.
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Old 02-25-2011, 02:59 PM
 
Location: S. Florida
1,100 posts, read 2,654,836 times
Reputation: 1419
The elementary and middle schools that my kids go to have a ZERO tolerance towards bullying policy! Your boyfriend must nip this in the bud asap. He needs to call the Principal and arrange a meeting between the children who are doing the bullying, their parents, himself and his daughter along with the Principal/Assistant Principle of the school.
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Old 02-25-2011, 03:22 PM
 
Location: NC
1,696 posts, read 3,979,204 times
Reputation: 1862
Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2justynsarah View Post
The elementary and middle schools that my kids go to have a ZERO tolerance towards bullying policy! Your boyfriend must nip this in the bud asap. He needs to call the Principal and arrange a meeting between the children who are doing the bullying, their parents, himself and his daughter along with the Principal/Assistant Principle of the school.
agreed, my daughters school wont tolerate it either...
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Old 02-28-2011, 09:39 AM
 
Location: colorado
2,788 posts, read 4,385,076 times
Reputation: 3314
Quote:
Originally Posted by stressedCollegeGirl89 View Post
jeepgirl, I'm so sorry that your boyfriend's daughter is going through this. It must be very hard on you all, knowing that there are kids out there that want to hurt her, whether it be physically, verbally, or emotionally.

There's just one question I would like to ask in order to see the picture more clearly: Has she stood up for herself when the kids called her names and said mean things to her? Like with the inhaler incident, did she say to those girls "My inhaler is for my asthma. Now how does that make me a drug addict? You need to grow up and learn a few things." or something of the sort? If she is not standing up for herself then she really needs to do so. Kids can be really cruel, but she can't let them have power over her. Bullies feed on others' insecurities and pick on them to make themselves feel better. Unfortunately, this doesn't end at school and happens in adulthood also.

Although you and you bf can't be with the daughter in school, have these girls bullied her online also? Cyber-bullying has become a big problem over the years. I would ask your boyfriend's daughter if she's being bullied online too.

Yes she has..she told them it was used for medical reasons she at times has trouble breathing, She talked to her one of her teachers, and the teacher told her she couldnt do anything about it because she didnt see it happen, I dont think they have bullied her online..but Im not sure, Her dad told her she needs to stand up and not let the girls make her feel worthless, and to always have a friend by her side, for moral support,
I guess she was afraid to take her inhaler at school,
I seen her last nite, she is feeling better and said she is going to take her inhaler to school and ignore the girls.
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Old 02-28-2011, 09:43 AM
 
Location: colorado
2,788 posts, read 4,385,076 times
Reputation: 3314
Quote:
Originally Posted by suedonym View Post
agreed, my daughters school wont tolerate it either...

He did...he sent the school principal and the teacher an email..he has a meeting tomorrow with the school
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Old 02-28-2011, 11:49 AM
 
2,726 posts, read 4,500,104 times
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Your boyfriend is doing awesome sticking up for her. She needs to see him do it; he needs to model assertive behavior for her. He has to ask tough questions to the principal, the kinds of questions that expose the inaction of administration (turning a blind eye). Parents, especially assertive ones, have enormous power here.

She needs to know that this is not her fault and she has a right to feel safe. Forget parents who say, "let her figure it out." Find out what it takes for her to feel safe but also be able to enjoy life and have friends (no hiding from people). It may just be something as simple as modeling assertive behavior, letting her practice, teaching her to listen to her intuition about people, learning when she is being taken advantage of and how to say "no.".

Bullies usually need access and concealment, something she should avoid giving to the bully. That is why she needs friends or stay in public.

Schools that have zero tolerance for bullying are very different from schools that act like it is not happening. Teachers often enjoy enormous support from administration in the first type of school and are not afraid to discipline the bully. It is the opposite in the second type of school.
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