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Old 03-03-2011, 12:42 PM
 
2,726 posts, read 4,368,532 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ADVentive View Post
I am not expecting you guys to agree with my methods of parenting, particularly with parenting through breastfeeding. I was just answering the question about why I say it is integral to my parenting style and why I would have difficulty parenting without it. I'm not really trying to have "debate my life", I am just trying to answer your questions as honestly as I can. I know that I am not "mainstream".
The thing is that some people here don't come off as mainstream to me. Mainstream to me is insecurity and going by the books instead of your intuition. I have been to many breastfeeding forums and many women will come on and ask, "Is this normal?" Many supporters will say "yes, keep doing what your doing. It is just a phase."

I stopped listening to them and came here. What I got from here were solutions and to starting thinking for myself. I don't have those questions anymore.
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Old 03-03-2011, 12:48 PM
 
9,056 posts, read 6,731,674 times
Reputation: 11008
Quote:
Originally Posted by ADVentive View Post
The problem is, that this argument relies on the premise that breast milk and formula are essentially equivalent. That is what the author is claiming here. But I don't think that is true at all. Not nutritionally and certainly not immunologically. Formula is an adequate substitute for breast milk when a mother cannot or does not wish to breastfeed, but it is not anywhere near equivalent. Sure, it is a personal choice to make, but don't try to pretend that they are equivalent.
This is your very first post. The only thing missing was a finger-wagging emoticon.

You have not once shown any sympathy or compassion for anybody that struggled with this process and had a miserable time with their babies as a result. That's what irks me about it. It long since stopped being about the article and became a judgment call on other mothers, whether you can see that or not.

I'm no longer going to "try to pretend" that you are capable of seeing anybody else's POV. I'm out.
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Old 03-03-2011, 12:58 PM
 
Location: Where we enjoy all four seasons
20,799 posts, read 8,537,281 times
Reputation: 15883
When a child is 4.5 and still breastfeeding ~ who is it really benefiting in this case...Mom or the child. You say this is the way you bond with your children. JMO but that is very sad. The child is weaning at this age? I am sorry but this really disturbs me. Do you go to this child's school and breastfeed or is it just at night?

I am old fashioned I guess....my kids are adults now and "back then" this was never an issue. Feeding was survival. Bonding is what a parent does with a child in many ways not just that every single day of their lives. Appparently my way of bonding worked because to this day I am very close to my children as my husband is. They grew up extremely healthy as did I.

I know most of you tried to get your point across to ADVentive and you did it well but it clearly is not working. I think the issues are deeper than nursing.

Time to move on to other threads.........
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Old 03-03-2011, 12:58 PM
 
424 posts, read 636,203 times
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And one more point, which may or may not matter. A lot of women who have difficulty do stop because they need to return to work at some point and would rather spend the few precious weeks they have enjoying time with their child and not hunched over in a lactation consultant's office every other day.

Someone up thread mentioned the mother's feelings and well-being being taken into consideration. Yes, as mothers we need to put our children ahead of us. But we also can't get beaten down so that we can barely function.


And also, I don't want to gang up on ADVentive. Honestly, I think her heart is in the right place. Lots of people consider formula straight-up poison, want to ban formula from hospitals and want to require formula be behind the pharmacist counter. THOSE are the people that scare me.
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Old 03-03-2011, 01:15 PM
 
3,842 posts, read 9,248,179 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carolinacool View Post
And one more point, which may or may not matter. A lot of women who have difficulty do stop because they need to return to work at some point and would rather spend the few precious weeks they have enjoying time with their child and not hunched over in a lactation consultant's office every other day.

Someone up thread mentioned the mother's feelings and well-being being taken into consideration. Yes, as mothers we need to put our children ahead of us. But we also can't get beaten down so that we can barely function.


And also, I don't want to gang up on ADVentive. Honestly, I think her heart is in the right place. Lots of people consider formula straight-up poison, want to ban formula from hospitals and want to require formula be behind the pharmacist counter. THOSE are the people that scare me.
It is banned at the hospital system in our area unless the baby is placed in NICU. It went into effect spring 2010. My OB's office was also required to stop handing out samples/coupons/brochures.
When I had #3 in July, I was not even asked if I was nursing or formula feeding. If a mom opts to formula feed, she has to bring in the formula. If the mom has an emergency situation, the hospital will provide formula up to 24 hrs.

My confusion lays in that while it is stated that one does not use sleep behavior methods yet uses breastfeeding to get a baby to sleep...that is quite contradictary. Neither method completely encourages the baby to sleep on its own.

Oh well. I really don't care what other moms do in re: to the raising of their babies. I have my hands full enough & have made enough mistakes the first 5 years to write a small book. Somehow, my kids still laugh, talk, walk & do ok. I loved being able to breastfeed, but I in no way mark it as a determining method of everything in life.

I have a 3yo right now...the thought of breastfeeding him to comfort him is somewhat disturbing to say the least.
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Old 03-03-2011, 01:15 PM
 
Location: Geneva, IL
12,976 posts, read 11,801,828 times
Reputation: 14677
Quote:
Originally Posted by ADVentive View Post
I am not expecting you guys to agree with my methods of parenting, particularly with parenting through breastfeeding. I was just answering the question about why I say it is integral to my parenting style and why I would have difficulty parenting without it. I'm not really trying to have "debate my life", I am just trying to answer your questions as honestly as I can. I know that I am not "mainstream".
I know you probably feel picked on a bit, but I am grateful that you have continued with the conversation.

I'm not sure if you realize how your posts come across, I am guessing not, but they are quite adversarial. It's not just good enough to breastfeed, but the breastfeeding must be spiritual and not just physical, etc. There are definitely judgemental overtones, whether you meant them or not.

When I asked you earlier why you were passionate about breastfeeding, I was really asking why you advocate breastfeeding, not why you yourself breastfeed, which you have explained quite thoroughly. So why do you advocate it? What is your ultimate goal?
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Old 03-03-2011, 01:35 PM
 
32,538 posts, read 29,362,165 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LeavingMassachusetts View Post
But Mommy there is blood running down my arm!!

Rub some dirt on it, you're fine
And spit. Lot of spit at our house.
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Old 03-03-2011, 01:36 PM
 
Location: BK All Day
4,480 posts, read 8,326,377 times
Reputation: 4288
Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
And spit. Lot of spit at our house.
Does anyone watch Raising Hope? There was a whole episode about this. At the end they watch home movies and the grandma is serving cake and licking the knife. So funny.
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Old 03-03-2011, 02:18 PM
 
Location: Hillsborough
2,825 posts, read 5,959,678 times
Reputation: 2620
Quote:
Originally Posted by crisan View Post
The thing is that some people here don't come off as mainstream to me. Mainstream to me is insecurity and going by the books instead of your intuition. I have been to many breastfeeding forums and many women will come on and ask, "Is this normal?" Many supporters will say "yes, keep doing what your doing. It is just a phase."

I stopped listening to them and came here. What I got from here were solutions and to starting thinking for myself. I don't have those questions anymore.
I don't really understand what you are saying. Of course people come on breastfeeding boards to ask "Is this normal?". Because they have very little knowledge or experience with breastfeeding, nor do their parents, friends, or doctors, and many aspects of formula feeding and breastfeeding differ. It's not just breastfeeding parents who ask that kind of question though - parents ask that about all sorts of baby-care topics, from sleeping to pooping to milestones, etc.
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Old 03-03-2011, 02:37 PM
 
Location: Hillsborough
2,825 posts, read 5,959,678 times
Reputation: 2620
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zimbochick View Post
I know you probably feel picked on a bit, but I am grateful that you have continued with the conversation.

I'm not sure if you realize how your posts come across, I am guessing not, but they are quite adversarial. It's not just good enough to breastfeed, but the breastfeeding must be spiritual and not just physical, etc. There are definitely judgemental overtones, whether you meant them or not.

When I asked you earlier why you were passionate about breastfeeding, I was really asking why you advocate breastfeeding, not why you yourself breastfeed, which you have explained quite thoroughly. So why do you advocate it? What is your ultimate goal?
You think that my posts are adversarial and judgmental, but have you read some of the others here? Who is the one whose lifestyle has been attacked on this thread? I don't think I am taking it personally, and I have tried to respond honestly and evenly, but if you think that I come off as adversarial, it could be defensiveness.

I did not say that breastfeeding must be spiritual and not just physical. Maybe I said that it was that way for me, when explaining why I am passionate about the issue. But I certainly did not say that I expect it to be that way for everyone, and I think I have said that outright more than once. I have explained already that I am interested in dispelling myths and removing barriers to breastfeeding. I think that good information is essential for people to make informed choices. I think that breastfeeding is a public health issue. Maybe I don't really know what you're asking if I haven't answered it yet.
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