U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 03-01-2011, 01:50 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
2,868 posts, read 8,443,210 times
Reputation: 1500

Advertisements

Eek...maybe I am just a bad bad momma...buh bye"" important breastfeeding relationship""...HELLO sleep filled nights of sleepy formula fed baby.

Been there done that...no thanks.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-01-2011, 01:52 PM
 
1,302 posts, read 1,529,167 times
Reputation: 1916
Quote:
Originally Posted by *Danielle* View Post
Eek...maybe I am just a bad bad momma...buh bye"" important breastfeeding relationship""...HELLO sleep filled nights of sleepy formula fed baby.

Been there done that...no thanks.
You're not a bad mother and breast feeding mothers are certainly not better mothers, no matter how much they try to convince themselves.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-01-2011, 02:11 PM
 
Location: somewhere
4,264 posts, read 7,929,045 times
Reputation: 3129
Quote:
Originally Posted by *Danielle* View Post
Hmmm...Breast fed 2 of my 3. My first for a year. My second for 9 months and my 3rd (who is 4 months old) is totally bottle fed (no BM at all). My 2nd child was the more sickly out of the 3. My life is MUCH easier (and better) bottle feeding my 3rd... hands down. I choose to bottle feed because i just did not like breast feeding... I know I could have done it succsessfully...just didn't want to. I like my sleep. Sleep = happy momma. I don't care what people think. I know what works for us...period. If I would have bottle fed my first child I would not have breastfed any of them at all...Been on both sides of the fence...

So...is breastmilk superior? Wasn't for my 2nd. So far, I don't see a difference in my first (BF baby) and my 3rd (bottle fed baby) at all. Both are very healthy and very happy. My 3rd is by far the easiest one... Sleeps the best, eats the best and constantly smiles so big you can hardly see her eyes...and has not had a single health issue to date.

I guess it is only a 'war' if you let it get to you... Who cares really? As long as baby is eating and healthy...and mom is happy.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-01-2011, 02:15 PM
 
Location: Geneva, IL
12,976 posts, read 11,788,166 times
Reputation: 14677
Quote:
Originally Posted by ADVentive View Post
Did we read the same article? She is totally saying that breast milk and formula are essentially equivalent:

I honestly just don't believe that it's the right thing to equate them, and I think that is precisely what this author is claiming, and I think that is what we as a population say when we say that it's "just a personal choice". There are plenty of people who decide not to breastfeed at all or who don't put in very much effort because they believe that it doesn't really matter, because they have been convinced that breast milk and formula are essentially equivalent. I don't think it is doing anyone any favors to just pretend that is true, just so that someone won't feel "guilty". Yes, there are many women who really wanted to breastfeed and it didn't work out for them despite their best efforts. People may say they feel guilty, but if they tried in good faith, with the best information they had at the time, then maybe they are mislabeling their feelings. Maybe what they feel is failure or regret or anger or something else. Here is a relevant excerpt from the classic

I think that by pretending that breast milk and formula are essentially equivalent, that we are taking information out of the hands of women in a misguided effort to spare their feelings. When they find out they've been deceived, I hope that they won't feel guilt, but they will instead feel anger for being misled.
My perception of what she is saying and yours is obviously different. All you see is her saying breast milk = formula. I see her saying bottle feeding is not the devil that some make it out to be, it is not harmful, it is not worth guilting mothers about, it is not worth severe post-partum depression, it is not worth judging someone's parenting abilities based on this one thing. Is she saying breastfeeding is bad or not worth it? No, of course she is not. No one is pretending anything. This is not a breast vs. bottle discussion, in fact exactly the opposite, it is about getting real. I really abhor the militant lactivists, they have really and truly lost their perspective (and their minds). Encouraging people to breastfeed and discussing benefits is one thing, but using stories with words such a wheelchair, crippled, cheated, guilt is pretty disgusting to me. We should be focusing on what is best for a mother and her child, whether that be breastfeeding or not, and thankfully all the lactivists I know do just that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ADVentive View Post
Before I had kids, I was pretty into dog rescue, and believe me, I had plenty of people saying the same kinds of things to me then - that there are other, more worthy causes, that I should be spending my time helping people, not dogs. Everyone has their own issues that they are passionate about solving or advocating for. The quality of food for children, particularly that served in schools, is certainly an issue. I have heard stories in the news recently about it. Other people are passionate about things like BPA in plastics, or toxins in materials toys are made out of. Some people are concerned about the amount of physical activity children are getting, or the amount of outdoor time, or imaginitive play time. Some people are passionate about veterans issues. Some people are passionate about the homeless. Some people are passionate about recycling. Some people want to save the whales. There are many, many issues out there that different people take on as their own personal passions, their own ways to try to make the world a better place. And yes, some causes are more life and death than others. But that doesn't mean that someone else's cause is unworthy of any attention. My passion at this time in my life happens to be breastfeeding. I am not going to dispute that there are many, many other worthy causes to be passionate about too.
Good for you. Perhaps you don't know this but I worked in Maternal Child Health for over 20 years. I was a midwife, a lactation consultant, and worked in PICU. I am glad you have a passion, that's great. It was a bit more than a passion for me, but whatever. Personally I prefer to look at the big picture. Happy mother, happy, healthy baby, both physically and emotionally. You'd have to be living on an iceberg for the last 100 years to not know the benefits of breastfeeding. Ask any mother or expectant mother, and they will confirm this. I have a huge problem with this emotional manipulation, making mothers feel inferior for not breastfeeding. This idea that women who bottle feed couldn't have tried hard enough, or don't want it enough, or don't really understand the health benefits, or don't really have their babies best interests at heart is entirely repugnant to me. Sure there are a few people who don't care, but most people care deeply about their babies health and well-being, and for one reason or another are not breastfeeding. Some of the worst post-partum depression occurs in women who cannot breast feed, and militant lactivists don't help. Breastfeeding for those who can is wonderful, cheap, easy, convenient. What is key in promoting it is in knowing when pushing your opinion is enough, knowing when the emotional manipulation has crossed the line, and knowing when you are doing harm.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-01-2011, 02:23 PM
 
9,056 posts, read 6,722,316 times
Reputation: 11008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zimbochick View Post
Happy mother, happy, healthy baby, both physically and emotionally. You'd have to be living on an iceberg for the last 100 years to not know the benefits of breastfeeding. Ask any mother or expectant mother, and they will confirm this. I have a huge problem with this emotional manipulation, making mothers feel inferior for not breastfeeding. This idea that women who bottle feed couldn't have tried hard enough, or don't want it enough, or don't really understand the health benefits, or don't really have their babies best interests at heart is entirely repugnant to me. Sure there are a few people who don't care, but most people care deeply about their babies health and well-being, and for one reason or another are not breastfeeding. Some of the worst post-partum depression occurs in women who cannot breast feed, and militant lactivists don't help. Breastfeeding for those who can is wonderful, cheap, easy, convenient. What is key in promoting it is in knowing when pushing your opinion is enough, knowing when the emotional manipulation has crossed the line, and knowing when you are doing harm.
Exactly! Preaching to women who have already walked the path they are going to walk and cannot go back is just pointless guilt-tripping.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-01-2011, 02:31 PM
 
32,538 posts, read 29,319,241 times
Reputation: 32238
It's the endless guilt trip the militant breast feeders lay on women who can't that I object to. "You aren't breast feeding?" (Total look of horror and a lecture.) "Lady. Go away. It's none of your business."
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-01-2011, 02:38 PM
 
Location: In a house
13,258 posts, read 34,604,245 times
Reputation: 20198
It's a LOVE emoticon.. turn it so the lumps on the 3 are facing up, and the point on the < is facing down. It's a heart!

Not to be confused with bewbies. I know, it's semantics. But still...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-01-2011, 02:39 PM
 
Location: BK All Day
4,480 posts, read 8,315,500 times
Reputation: 4288
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnonChick View Post
It's a LOVE emoticon.. turn it so the lumps on the 3 are facing up, and the point on the < is facing down. It's a heart!

Not to be confused with bewbies. I know, it's semantics. But still...
(o)(o) hehehehehehehe
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-01-2011, 02:43 PM
 
Location: Geneva, IL
12,976 posts, read 11,788,166 times
Reputation: 14677
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnonChick View Post
It's a LOVE emoticon.. turn it so the lumps on the 3 are facing up, and the point on the < is facing down. It's a heart!

Not to be confused with bewbies. I know, it's semantics. But still...
I know, I was just messing with you!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-01-2011, 02:46 PM
 
Location: Hillsborough
2,825 posts, read 5,952,246 times
Reputation: 2620
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zimbochick View Post
This idea that women who bottle feed couldn't have tried hard enough, or don't want it enough, or don't really understand the health benefits, or don't really have their babies best interests at heart is entirely repugnant to me. Sure there are a few people who don't care, but most people care deeply about their babies health and well-being, and for one reason or another are not breastfeeding.
I'm not saying that people don't care about their babies. I'm saying that people don't care about breastfeeding because they do not believe that there is any substantial difference between breast milk and formula. They may be told that "breast is best", but what they internalize is that formula is "just fine" and "just as good".

Quote:
What is key in promoting it is in knowing when pushing your opinion is enough, knowing when the emotional manipulation has crossed the line, and knowing when you are doing harm.
I didn't start this thread. I was asked my opinion and gave it on an internet message board which was designed specifically for that purpose. Please don't think that I am cruising the local mall for bottle-feeders to emotionally scar. How am I emotionally manipulating and harming anyone?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top