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Old 03-04-2011, 08:36 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,076,504 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnonChick View Post
As for the rest of the stuff, I knew about most of it when I was a kid. The makeup brush is a new gig, and I can only guess that the tirepressure guage is used to release gas from whippit cans or something to that effect. Most of it isn't new. It's stuff kids have been using to "disguise" their drug use at -least- since I was a kid.
You are younger than most of us. Much of this stuff is new to many of us older parents. Many of the drugs used today didn't even exist when we were kids.

 
Old 03-04-2011, 08:37 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,148 posts, read 22,139,461 times
Reputation: 35609
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
They are an indication of drugs when there is a pattern---a group of certain things that are odd that repeatedly happen in excess---along with other items.

I didn't say "pens." I said pens that are taken apart. Components of pens all over the place.

I didn't list everything. If a teen is suddenly cutting up soda bottles and soda or putting holes in them, that's another reason for concern.

I'm trying to point out how easy it is for many parents to be truly clueless and can remain clueless for a couple of years before they get a clue.

You know what was amazing? It's usually not obvious like the OP's son being a behavioral problem. My son encountered kids who smoked marijuana in his honors and AP classes, boy scouts, lacrosse, soccer, etc. Good kids involved in activities and getting good grades smoke marijuana too.

Come on. I think most of us expect that ours will likely experiment. My children did. I was on top of it compared to other parents I knew. I caught mine experimenting within a few months of their first time. How did I catch them? From hearing about this stuff from my friends who had already gone through it with their older children.
I understand the taking apart pens thing. I was simply going by the picture of "potential drug paraphenelia"....my point being that not every kid who has one or more of those items is doing drugs. They just aren't. I'm not naive but every kid does not experiment. And those who are simply "experimenting" aren't stashing things in chapstick and makeup brushes.
 
Old 03-04-2011, 08:40 PM
 
Location: In a house
13,258 posts, read 34,677,768 times
Reputation: 20198
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
You are younger than most of us. This stuff is new to many of us older parents.
I'm old enough to be a grandparent to some of your kids. I'm turning 50 in May.

Younger..heh.
 
Old 03-04-2011, 08:41 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,076,504 times
Reputation: 30261
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
I understand the taking apart pens thing. I was simply going by the picture of "potential drug paraphenelia"....my point being that not every kid who has one or more of those items is doing drugs. They just aren't. I'm not naive but every kid does not experiment. And those who are simply "experimenting" aren't stashing things in chapstick and makeup brushes.
The POINT is that the OP found the evidence of drug usage that isn't easily identifiable. People accused her of dropping the ball for not noticing the evidence sooner.

The very fact that you keep insisting that these things are not guarantees that it's a sign of drug activity validates how parents can be fooled for a long time.
 
Old 03-04-2011, 08:43 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,076,504 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnonChick View Post
I'm old enough to be a grandparent to some of your kids. I'm turning 50 in May.

Younger..heh.
I had no idea! I thought you were in your 20s!

I guess my crowd wasn't as interesting as your crowd.

We had roach clips, papers and pipes---that's about it.
 
Old 03-04-2011, 08:45 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,148 posts, read 22,139,461 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
The POINT is that the OP found the evidence of drug usage that isn't easily identifiable. People accused her of dropping the ball for not noticing the evidence sooner.

The very fact that you keep insisting that these things are not guarantees that it's a sign of drug activity validates how parents can be fooled for a long time.
Of course parents can be fooled. That wasn't my point. My point was....it's only evidence of drug use if there are actual drugs; not simply if your child has chapstick in their room. Sometimes, people can go off on the deep end looking for "evidence" when there is nothing. Of course parents need to be aware but we also need to not freak out because our child might have a chapstick in his room. That's all. I'm not ignorant. I have a very good friend who is a cop - the kind who would know all kinds of things. If I had concerns I'd know exactly what to look for.
 
Old 03-04-2011, 08:48 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,076,504 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
Of course parents can be fooled. That wasn't my point. My point was....it's only evidence of drug use if there are actual drugs; not simply if your child has chapstick in their room. Sometimes, people can go off on the deep end looking for "evidence" when there is nothing. Of course parents need to be aware but we also need to not freak out because our child might have a chapstick in his room. That's all.
Well, I'm sure it's hard to understand because I'm not sharing the details of exactly what the OP herself found. Trust me. She found evidence. There's no way that what she found isn't evidence. But it's the type of evidence that could easily be missed by most parents. Now all she needs to do is keep quiet about being onto him until she finds the drugs, which as you pointed out is outright proof. And she's going to need that outright proof. Now that she knows what to look for, she'll find it eventually. She's got an entire house to search, not just his bedroom.
 
Old 03-04-2011, 08:50 PM
 
Location: somewhere
4,264 posts, read 7,937,996 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
So now you have jumped to an adopted child is most likely born to a crack addicted woman?

Of course I know that adopted older children can have really serious issues. You would have to have lived under a rock for the past 50 years to not know about that. Believe me a lot of healthy well adjusted women all over the world have made adoption plans for their children. I have had many years experience working with domestic and international adoption.

It just irks me to see such a generalization about adopted children. Maybe if you had asked if this troubled child had been adopted as an older kid I would not have had the reaction I did.

I have 7 children. Some were born to me, some adopted, some came to me by marriage. We are an interracial family by adoption and marriage with folks from America, Cuba, Iran, Korea and Vietnam. We have all sorts of different eyes and hair and skin tones. I understand the questions people have about adoption.

I too have been frustrated by the OP's previous posts and her family troubles and I'm usually a cynical person. But some folks here have seemed to think she is fair game with all sorts of pot shots and cruel name calling. It just seems to me with this particular thread, she has tried over and over to get folks to believe that there is a real breakdown in the systems we all feel should be in place for her and her family. Obviously we know that all over this country there are many families in similar situations.

And even these broken and hopeless families probably started out with the same hopes and dreams we all did. Not everybody has a happy ending or smooth sailing. This in and of itself does not make the parents evil or bad.

And to the poster who said the OP should not have been allowed to adopt in the first place--I can guarantee you this couple had to go thru more questions and investigations than most people who birth kids with no regard to the future health and welfare of the kids.
OH geez, I asked a simple question, trying to understand why a child is having such serious issues. Since the OP doesn't want to air all of the details as she pointed out in her first sentence of this thread, it leaves alot to interpretation. I didn't do it to cause anybody grief, I was simply asking. Thank you though, I had no clue prior to your post that it was unacceptable to ask people if their child was adopted, now I know better than to ask people, I never dreamed it would offend anyone.

When a person posts on a forum like this, be that they are simply venting or speaking of actual events it opens them up to getting advice they may or may not want, as well as possible questions about their parenting skills, especially on the parenting forum. Some of the comments this particular OP has made about her children are absolutely horrible, I cannot even imagine what it must be like to live in that house. So if there are those of us on here who are just alittle jaded in regards to the OP surely an intelligent person could understand why. Why even ignorant little ole me understands that.
 
Old 03-04-2011, 08:51 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,148 posts, read 22,139,461 times
Reputation: 35609
Quote:
Well, I'm sure it's hard to understand because I'm not sharing the details of exactly what the OP herself found. Trust me. She found evidence. There's no way that what she found isn't evidence. Now all she needs to do is keep quiet about being onto him until she finds the drugs, which as you pointed out is outright proof. And she's going to need that outright proof. Now that she knows what to look for, she'll find it eventually. She's got an entire house to search, not just his bedroom.

No...it's not hard to understand because I'm not talking about what Marylee did or didn't find. I'm just talking "in general"...just as there are parents whose heads are in the sand about their child's drug use, there are parents who's kids are doing nothing wrong and would take that picture and be accusatory....that was my only point. Not all kids are doing drugs and not all of that is necessarily "evidence". I'm really and truly not infering any more than that.
 
Old 03-04-2011, 08:56 PM
 
Location: In a house
13,258 posts, read 34,677,768 times
Reputation: 20198
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
I had no idea! I thought you were in your 20s!

I guess my crowd wasn't as interesting as your crowd.

We had roach clips, papers and pipes---that's about it.
Dood. Why do you think I am confident in my knowledge of kids? I've been hanging out with them for the past 40 years I *think* I've learned a thing or two about them in all this time. I've been there, done that, had the teeshirt, helped my neighbors raise their kids, helped my friends raise their kids, spent a couple years "babysitting" for a Downs neighbor who was actually a year older than I am (and doing great working part time and living in an "assisted living" group home for mentally challenged adults), did the substitute teaching gig in three different school districts in the state...was birthing coach to one friend...

And, on top of all that, I've had enough time pass from my own teenage years til now, to be able to see my own youth more objectively than someone who is *just* starting to struggle with their own teens, or just barely out of their own teenage years themselves.

We had roach clips, papers, pipes, but we made our own pipes out of metal doohickies, and we'd practically compete to see who could make the wierdest ones that still actually functioned properly. We ALSO had tons and tons of "disguises" for our stuff.

Here's a freebee that isn't even in that photo: You know those modern can openers, that cut the sides of the can, instead of the top, and allow you to pull the top off as if it was a lid, without cutting your fingers on the edge? Well - those tops also fit BACK on the can very neatly and fairly securely. If your kid has a can of something in his room and it isn't open - give it a gentle shake. Greatest invention for drug-users so far. You can put a whole lot of oxycodones in an empty can of peas.
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