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Old 03-05-2011, 11:25 PM
 
9,454 posts, read 15,020,411 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnonChick View Post
Then, that would indicate what some of us keep saying: there is a lot missing to this situation that Marylee is holding back, that could possibly result in a -completely- different set of opinions if we all knew the real deal.

Lying by omission is still lying.

CPS isn't "the Feds"

They are state agencies. and yes, they do go to your place of employment to do an investigation, along with asking your neighbors, etc. Any time anyone makes an allegation to CPS, they must follow through. The more allegations that are made, the more intense they become. They have shown up at my dh place of employment, not to interview him, but to investigate him by asking questions of his co workers, supervisors, etc. That's how they work folks, they never "help" all they do is smear a person's reputation into the ground. Oh, and the people they interview are told not to reveal to the person being investigated they were there, to "protect the outcrier". well, we found out, anyways, but were defenseless against an investigation that "never happened". We were dragged through the mud while going on about our daily lives. People love to dig in the dirt, as evidenced by the speculations here on this board. Think about it---a CPS worker (a state employee,not a CIA agent) comes into your office, asks to speak with your supervisor, then asks if you drink, smoke, do drugs, porn, ever been a problem employee? Of course, the employer knows they're from CPS, but doesn't know why the employee is being investigated, that's all a "secret" there again, to
"protect the outcirer"

Then, they ask to speak with other co workers, ask the same damaging questions, then leave. Then they go around the neighborhood asking similar questions. Suddenly, neighbors stop saying hello to you, other children stop playing with your kids, your dh is laid off, all because of................CPS workers never go back to those they interviewed and say the case was ruled out as pure BS, they just leave people to wonder and draw their own conclusions. Those conslusions can never be positive, obviously. Where do these allegations come from?

Where there;'s smoke, there's fire, right? something must be going on, or there wouldn't be so many investigations. The allegations come from my DS, he loves to torment us any time he doesn't get his way, by making another false report. And, BTW, there is NO penalty for making false reports to CPS, anyone can say anything they wish, as long as they claim they "made it in good faith"

So, remember that the next time you really want to screw someone over, there's your opportunity. Why does DS do all that? Since some of you are so curious, read up on RAD. There, that's all you need to open up a new interest, some kids have problems the parents didn't create but become a victim of, there's plenty of parents out there like me. This kid is classic RAD, and yes, we've done as much counseling as we can afford, it never does anything. He actually lies to the RAd counselors and tells incredible tales of abuse, etc, then they are compelled by law to report us, as they are mandated reporters.

a vicious cycle, we had a kid with RAD, we seek "help" via counseling, the kid does what RAD kids do, lies to the counselor, then the counselor makes a complaint to CPS, then CPS wonders why they are getting so many complaints about the same family, then they escalate their investigations, then ds gets his "fun" by terrorizing us, then ds makes more allegations to escalate the "fun" see how it goes?

But there again, I guess those of you who understand don't need any explanation, and those that don't understand never would.

 
Old 03-06-2011, 01:02 AM
 
Location: NYC
1,723 posts, read 3,179,768 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryleeII View Post

I never said my dd called CPS and said I tried to drown her.



sure ya did.. Try rereading your own "If you were a better mother' thread.

Quote:
MaryleeII
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Join Date: Feb 2010
1,676 posts, read 643,546 times
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I'm not "deluding" myself when I say it seemed to have happened overnight. Of course, it must have been brewing for quite sometime, but just seemed to explode all at once.

counseling seems to fuel it. After a counseling session, my dd called their crisis line and told them I'd tried to drown her in the bathtub, police came out, first I knew when I found the tub full. There was just something on Tv about Andrea Yates, the woman who drown her children, the kids commented on it, that must have put the idea in her head.

The whole thing was so ridiculous, she's 5'6", with a very athletic, muscular build, star in volleyball and soccer, while I'm about 5'3" with severe rheumatoid arthritis and can barely hobble around, let alone drown anyone. Obviously they didn't believe it for an instant, especially when they fund her bone dry sitting in the LR.

She knows all CPS cases must be investigated, so she makes up incredible crap just to keep it going. If this continues I'm looking at bringing charges against her for making false reports.
 
Old 03-06-2011, 07:22 AM
 
2,857 posts, read 6,256,327 times
Reputation: 5098
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryleeII View Post
As I stated in the first post of this thread, I don't choose to disclose every detail of my life, just the issue concerning me at the time---my ds loves to run off, and attacks me and the rest of the family with knifes.
MaryLee, I'm not going to pick apart your posts and your history. You have your hands full with a very difficult situation and I'm sure you are trying your hardest to make sense of it. Seeking help is important and you continue to do that - maybe you won't find that help here, but don't let that stop you from doing your best to help your family.

However, I don't think that you are correct in saying that your son "loves to run off". Somehow, I think he is probably just as unhappy as you are and doesn't want to be living his life in this way either. It is hard to understand what motivates troubled teens, but I really doubt this is what your son in seeking.
 
Old 03-06-2011, 07:44 AM
 
Location: New York City
2,814 posts, read 5,857,192 times
Reputation: 3142
I read one of your posts from the past that said you and your husband were separated and your son was living in another city with his dad. Now you said that when your husband started a new job in a new city your children stayed behind with you. I always start out wanting to help and I get invested in problem solving, and then I find myself questioning certain threads. This happened to me once before when a woman came on here saying that her daughter was being abused in her school and her husband was also abusing her daughter. I got pulled in, and then it turned out to be a joke. So of course I become skeptical. I have no doubt that you have problems with your kids, but somethings make me pull back. I think it is highly unusual for CPS to go to the workplace.
 
Old 03-06-2011, 08:01 AM
 
2,252 posts, read 4,312,915 times
Reputation: 3709
If you found drug paraphernalia in his room, call the police and turn it over to them. If he's on probation, they will arrest him. I find it impossible to believe that police are showing up to your home on a repeating basis and doing nothing.

There are just too many inconsistencies in the OPs posts and if anyone points to any of them, they are attacked and accused of being insensitive. I'm not insensitive but I've seen many posters offer advice and suggestions and very often they are ignored or there is this whole "I can't do that" attitude.
 
Old 03-06-2011, 12:17 PM
 
13,496 posts, read 13,975,028 times
Reputation: 11119
Quote:
Originally Posted by cleasach View Post
If you found drug paraphernalia in his room, call the police and turn it over to them. If he's on probation, they will arrest him. I find it impossible to believe that police are showing up to your home on a repeating basis and doing nothing.

There are just too many inconsistencies in the OPs posts and if anyone points to any of them, they are attacked and accused of being insensitive. I'm not insensitive but I've seen many posters offer advice and suggestions and very often they are ignored or there is this whole "I can't do that" attitude.

I find some people just want to gripe about their situations but really don't want to change it. I will offer advice and a shoulder for anyone in a bad situation but when it dawns on me they won't do anything to change, I stop trying to help as it is a waste of my time. some folks won't change because they are not motivated to do so, only motivated to gripe.
 
Old 03-06-2011, 01:46 PM
 
32,538 posts, read 29,333,321 times
Reputation: 32238
Quote:
Originally Posted by hothulamaui View Post
but when it dawns on me they won't do anything to change, I stop trying to help as it is a waste of my time. some folks won't change because they are not motivated to do so, only motivated to gripe.
I'm always hoping there might be someone else reading these posts who will learn something. Something that might be helpful to them. Even if the OP (whomever he/she is) doesn't really want to listen.
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