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Old 03-05-2011, 01:53 AM
 
Location: In the Pearl of the Purchase, Ky
6,975 posts, read 12,394,879 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FinsterRufus View Post
MrFinsterRufus would give you one piece of advice, raggy - if your wife gets a c-section, don't look over the curtain in the middle of it.
That didn't bother me a bit, with either of my 2 son's births! When we started Lamaze classes we were asked to tell our names, due dates, and why we're taking Lamaze. For the reason, and several new dads agreed with me, I told them my wife said she aint going in there alone! I got her in that shape and I can help her get out! lol But I wouldn't have missed that for the world! Never bothered me a bit. Especially enjoyed it when son #2 peed all over the doctor as soon as he was out! lol
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Old 03-05-2011, 02:42 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles
754 posts, read 1,283,348 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zimbochick View Post
congratulations! I'm sure you'll get a lot more information from childbirth classes.

Mrzimbochick would give you one piece of advice, even though your wife has said she's not keen on using pain meds or an epidural, once she is being induced and asking for anything to take away the pain, please do not remind of that fact, and ask her if she wouldn't rather tough it out for a little longer.
lol!!!
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Old 03-05-2011, 03:27 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,676,318 times
Reputation: 19413
Quote:
Originally Posted by raggy491 View Post
Hey all,

My wifey is pregnant I am new to the whole delivery experience thing.

I was told it is pretty much standard for the Dads to be in the delivery room now when wifey is giving birth, Is that true or is it considered an option?.

I know this might sound bad, but, I was kinda hoping it would be like the good ole days were the dad sits in a waiting room and a doc or nurse comes in and says "it all went well , congradulations". But I dont think thats gonna happen .

What role am I to play in all of this? Besides like you see in the movie were the dad says "push, you can do this".
Regardless of whether or not your wife is having a normal delivery or C-section, it can be a horribly painful and terrifying experience, especially if it's the first birth. Things can go very wrong, very quickly, adding to the terror of situation. The question here is this, "Why, if given the option to be in there, would you NOT want to be there with her?" She is about to bring your brand new child into this world. You have the opportunity to watch it enter your world. For all she's going through and about to go through for you, the least you can do is to be at her side, holding her hand if she needs it, rubbing her back if she needs it, wiping her forehead with a cool rag, telling her how much you love her, what a great job she's doing, encouraging her to keep going...or to rest if she needs to. Men NEED to see what their wives go through in childbirth. It's not enough to hear about it...and their wives should not be having to go through it alone.
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Old 03-05-2011, 06:51 AM
 
Location: NC
1,696 posts, read 3,850,202 times
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you got her pregnant- you be in the delivery room. you have the easy part. be grateful.

my hubby was there for both our kids. and while he stayed by my side (had no desire to see the actual birth- heck cant blame him, I didnt want to see it either- made them move the mirror LOL) he WAS there... and lived to tell the tale.

man up and stay with your wife.
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Old 03-05-2011, 07:05 AM
 
Location: Rogers, Arkansas
1,280 posts, read 4,040,033 times
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Most dads are in the delivery room these days. But that doesn't mean you MUST be there. If you and your partner agree that you are not, then don't let anyone tell you otherwise. But if she really wants you there, it would be nice if you at least gave it a try.

To be honest, I wasn't sure about having my husband at the birth because he reacts badly when I am in pain, and he hates/ is afraid of hospitals and medical stuff. So we hired a doula (a non-medical support person; basically a lady who knows a lot about births, can explain medical stuff, help the mom get in the right position for birth etc). This really helped, because it took the pressure off my husband. He could rest a bit at times during my 30 hours labor and not feel guilty, which made the whole experience more pleasurable for all of us.
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Old 03-05-2011, 07:57 AM
 
2,596 posts, read 4,645,332 times
Reputation: 3949
Quote:
Originally Posted by raggy491 View Post
Hey all, My wifey is pregnant I am new to the whole delivery experience thing. I was told it is pretty much standard for the Dads to be in the delivery room now when wifey is giving birth, Is that true or is it considered an option?.

I know this might sound bad, but, I was kinda hoping it would be like the good ole days were the dad sits in a waiting room and a doc or nurse comes in and says "it all went well , congradulations". But I dont think thats gonna happen . What role am I to play in all of this? Besides like you see in the movie were the dad says "push, you can do this".
I think ideally it should depend on what your wife wants. Both of you made the baby together, right? She's just the one nature chose to carry and deliver it. She can't get out of that even if she wants to, right? She's got the tougher end of the job, which is going through the pain and actually giving birth. While I respect that some people aren't excited about the idea of medical procedures, unless you're just an absolute train wreck (like you faint at the sight of blood), I think you should try to be in there with your wife if she wants you there. Or if she doesn't want you there, fine, but I would hope that when she's going through this, your primary concern would be supporting her. Seems like the loving thing to do, right?
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Old 03-05-2011, 08:49 AM
 
Location: Hillsborough
2,825 posts, read 5,959,678 times
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My husband gets queasy around blood and such, and he was afraid he would pass out at the birth. But he said that he didn't have a problem at all actually, and he thinks it was probably the adrenaline keeping him going. I would have been very upset had he chosen not to be there with me though.
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Old 03-05-2011, 10:41 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,676,318 times
Reputation: 19413
It would have taken an army of security guards to keep my husband OUT of the delivery room when I was having our babies!! There was never a question. They were HIS babies, there was no WAY he was going to miss being the first one to see them enter the world...even the C-section ones. That nursing staff had to pry those new babies out of his hands. He was like a little kid with a favorite toy. NO! This is MY baby!! LOL
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Old 03-05-2011, 10:46 AM
 
Location: BK All Day
4,480 posts, read 8,327,999 times
Reputation: 4288
If you are anything like my dad, you will be next to the doctor thinking that he is assisting you in the delivery.
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Old 03-05-2011, 10:50 AM
 
3,842 posts, read 9,248,179 times
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IMO, it's a personal choice b/w the two of you.
No matter what, it will be a choice that is ALWAYS remembered.

My dh has always been there. It's not always whispering sweet nothings in my ear & me lovingly looking at him though.

But, we have some really funny memories. For #1, when the nurse asked me how much I weighed, my dh laughed. For #2, my dh had to drive a friend to the airport & "felt bad" he had to drop him off 8 hrs before the flight left (I was induced w/ #2). For #3, dh wasn't even there b/c it was an emer c/sec & there was not even enough time to get him into the ER.

I am grateful he was there & I know he was too. He didn't "like" it, especially cutting the cord, but just like labor isn't fun, neither is the father on the side of the bed part.

In the long run, could probably guarantee you being in the room would be worth it. But, my SIL never wants the father in the room & never has him there.

It is a personal choice & you don't need to be chastised for either decision.

Some think childbirth is gross. Others want the mirror down there & everything.

I would keep it a private & personal choice in the end.
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