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Old 03-05-2011, 06:28 PM
Location: Wildside of Oahu
1,412 posts, read 2,676,373 times
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Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
That was my first thought too when I heard. She told me she only locks it when they refuse to stay in their rooms, and the doors are always unlocked before the parents go to bed, or when the kids fall asleep. I still think it's awful but that's how my friend was raised, and she sees it as a last resort.
When our dd was little, she had to go to bed at a set time, but you really can't make someone sleep, if they're not ready. So, she could play on her bed or look at books or whatever, but she couldn't get out of bed. She usually fell asleep in less than 30 minutes of when we put her to bed.

We only had one child, but we always let her take our dog to bed with her, as well. That way she wasn't lonely. He usually jumped down as soon as she fell asleep or quit petting him, but it made bed time a happy, calm time.

I just think her methods seem draconian. Sorry.
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Old 03-05-2011, 07:19 PM
11,614 posts, read 19,716,271 times
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Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
When I used to hire a babysitter, I tried to make the night special for my kids. They would have a meal not usually on the menu, such as pizza or fast food, and I'd pick up a movie for them to watch before bedtime. I expected the babysitter to get them to bed at a reasonable hour, but wasn't too worried if they stayed up later than usual.

I have a good friend who insists her children be put to bed at the usual time (by 7:00), and is having a lot of trouble getting anyone to come back to sit a second time. Another friend with a daughter of babysitting age tells me her girl won't go back to this house, but she is reluctant to say why, and just makes excuses.

Friend #1 has three under the age of 5. If the kids won't stay in bed, the sitters are instructed to lock their doors(from the outside) to keep them in their room. If she gets a bad report on any of them, they will be spanked upon her return. But, nobody wants to be the mean babysitter who puts all that in motion, so instead, they say no if asked to sit again.

What do you expect from your sitters? I think my friend is asking too much of the teens she hires. Otherwise, although I don't believe in spanking, she is a wonderful, loving mother.
I guess my standards are not that high. If the kids were all alive and the house was not more of mess than usual I was happy. My kids usually liked when we had a sitter. They got treats and got to stay up late. The last sitter I used liked to play games with the kids so they loved when she came over to babysit.
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Old 03-05-2011, 08:12 PM
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Actually, my first reaction was that 3 kids under the age of 5 would be such a headache, especially for a teen. I would get an older babysitter for kids that age, particularly when we're talking three at a time. I think a teen could handle one kid under 5, but asking them to properly supervise 3 at once? Way too much to handle. No wonder she doesn't want to go back.

I agree that the mom sounds a little strict with the behavior policy, but my guess is that the reason she won't go back is the number and age of the kids more than anything else.
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Old 03-05-2011, 08:52 PM
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The preferred babysitter is a college student, but when she isn't available her HS junior(17) sister fills in. She was the one sitting this past week, and doesn't want to go back.

I think my friend is under the impression that babysitting for her kids should be a dream gig, since they are only supposed to be up for a maximum of 15 minutes after she leaves.

I did tell her once about how my own kids considered having a babysitter almost as a treat, but she thinks her kids do better with a strict schedule.

One of these days she's going to call me in a pinch to sit, because she's already done it to others in the neighborhood when emergencies have arisen. I don't think I can do it her way.
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Old 03-06-2011, 09:05 AM
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I can understand why the mother who locks her kids in their bedroom/cell every night at 7 won't get anyone to sit for her more than once....she could learn from you, ...when she's going out , it should be a fun time for the kids too, like you said...pizza, movies...She sounds downright cruel to me.
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Old 03-07-2011, 10:52 AM
Location: Foot of the Rockies
84,967 posts, read 98,814,535 times
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I, too, tried to make it fun when we hired a babysitter. I had friends who would complain that the sitter didn't do the dishes, etc, but sometimes it was hard enough for me to get all that done and watch the kids when mine were little. I'd rather the sitter pay attention to the kids than the house. As far as strict bedtimes, etc, sometimes that just isn't possible with a sitter. And what the hey, if the parents are going out, it's probably a weekend and no one has school or work the next day anyway.
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Old 03-07-2011, 11:23 AM
Location: here
24,469 posts, read 28,737,691 times
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I agree with the OP. I tell the sitter the normal bed time routine but I don't expect her to be too strict about it. I'm happy if the kids are alive, in bed, and the house is no messier than I left it, when I get home. I also think it is bad when parents have to lock their kids in their rooms in order to get them to stay there.
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Old 03-07-2011, 11:28 AM
Location: 3814′45″N 12237′53″W
4,152 posts, read 9,580,830 times
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When we try out a new sitter, we work out an evening where they get to come over while we're there, and the sitter "learns the ropes" of how we do things.
Meets kids, plays with kids, etc, and see our evening routine. We put the kids to bed at their usual time and then we go out, leaving the sitter to the house with the 99.9% chance of sleeping kids.
Then the next time they come over, we take off before their usual bedtime.
Kids are cool with it, sitter is cool with it, and we get a worry free evening out of it!
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Old 03-08-2011, 01:19 PM
1,055 posts, read 2,054,299 times
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I think your friend should 'woman up' and get a real babysitter/nanny. You know, an actual adult with experience. If her kids are unruly, then she shouldn't be letting teenagers handle them, b/c the kids won't respect another kid (teenager). Yes, teenagers are cheaper to hire, but, come on now!
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Old 03-23-2011, 03:04 AM
Location: the South
247 posts, read 428,435 times
Reputation: 150
You friend may need to hire someone who is older, more experienced, and who's comfortable with the idea of knowing the kids may get the parents choice of punishment, which happens to be spanking. Personally, I believe in spanking to a degree, because I was spanked as a child...but theres a time and reason for it. Of course if you know you're getting too angry, you shouldn't do it...but ideally should be done as soon as possible [ not saying the babysitter should spank them ]. Otherwise spanking is isnt effective. Also as far as babysitting goes, the kids should have fun but to an extent. Have the babysitter say 'okay we're still going to bed at such & such time but we'll be doing lots of fun new activities.' Compromise.
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