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Old 03-07-2011, 03:35 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 88,940,518 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
To answer the people who keep asking about their phone number, they may have a neighborhood directory like we do. People can opt out of the directory, but most people are in there. I've gotten calls from neighbors I haven't met about an open garage, weird kids hanging around, etc. I have almost all my neighbors' phone numbers. So it could be that.
It's unlikely their phone number is any any sort of directory or phone book. They only moved there three weeks ago.

 
Old 03-07-2011, 03:36 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 88,940,518 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
That's true--I forgot about that. But there's still Anywho and similar sites.
Those sites aren't usually updated very quickly. The information is often old. I'll bet the daughter gave him her phone number.
 
Old 03-07-2011, 03:49 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
That's true--I forgot about that. But there's still Anywho and similar sites.

Most people have the "triple-play" through their cable carrier and those numbers are not searchable.

If the boy is calling the 12 year old, the girl probably gave her number to him.
 
Old 03-07-2011, 04:01 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
84,959 posts, read 98,776,620 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by omigawd View Post
Most people have the "triple-play" through their cable carrier and those numbers are not searchable.

If the boy is calling the 12 year old, the girl probably gave her number to him.
Especially if he's calling her cell.

It's probably not important how he got her number, except as a lesson for the future if she gave it to him. If he's calling the home phone, I'd recommend caller ID immediately if they don't already have it, and block his number or at least refuse to answer it. The young lady could do that, too, if it's a cell, as most cells have caller ID.

I agree with those who say to talk to the boy and/or his parents first. A restraining order may not work, if he hasn't done anything (other than harass in the opinion of the young lady).
 
Old 03-07-2011, 04:54 PM
 
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OP, where are you?????????
 
Old 03-07-2011, 05:30 PM
 
Location: Westchester County
1,096 posts, read 1,342,289 times
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Its too bad this girl doesn't seem to have any older brothers, or cousins. Back in the day this situation would work itself out with a little "friendly" conversation with other 16 year old boys who would point out the error of the lad's ways. Think of it as an early intervention.
 
Old 03-07-2011, 05:44 PM
 
2,596 posts, read 4,637,991 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ohiogirl22 View Post
There are two sides to every story.

1) Why does he have her phone number
2) Did you hear him say threatening things to him? Or is this something she tells you?
3) They had to have met at some point and talked. I highly doubt she was playing hop scotch and he walked up to her and said "be my girlfriend"
4) Stalking is a very very strong word.
Agree with this^^

It is, of course, possible that this boy has harmful intentions and/or is a predator. Certainly it seems like a bad idea for opposite sex teens with such an age difference to hang out together and since she is bothered by his actions, they shouldn't have any more contact.

However, I think it's also possible that this boy simply made a mistake in continuing to talk to the girl, without necessarily having predatory intentions. While some 12-year old girls are still acting like "kids" and virtually ignoring the opposite sex, a fair number at that age are beginning to flirt, to try to get an older boy's attention and to mimic older teen pop stars they see on TV. Some look and dress much older than they are. I would question how he got her phone number (seems likely she gave it to him since they only moved there 3 weeks ago) and I would suggest the possibility that they may have talked, perhaps even flirted. It's easily imaginable that while attention from an older boy might have felt good at first, a twelve year old would have quickly become uncomfortable and come to her mother as soon as she realized she was in over her head.

The sixteen year old maybe should know better, but it's so easy to blame the older kid while forgetting that none of them are true adults yet. The 6 year old should know better than to hit their 3 year old brother, but in the end, they're still 6. In one scenario they're older and the perpetrator, in the other they're the helpless victim (if an 8 year old pushes them on the playground), but in the end, they're still the same age. Some sixteen year olds are still kind of "young" in their heads. He may just have dumb judgment and a talk from his parents could clear that up.

Now, is this how it happened? I have no way to know. We're all guessing. But I still maintain there are more possibilities out there other than simply that she was innocently skipping to school and some future pedophile targeted her.

In light of that, calling the parent first seems like a reasonable first step. If that conversation doesn't stop the contact, it makes the OP's case much more compelling when she needs to take the next step--contacting the authorities. I think doing so as a first step might be a bit premature.
 
Old 03-07-2011, 05:53 PM
 
Location: Ohio
14,311 posts, read 12,565,603 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SKP440 View Post
Its too bad this girl doesn't seem to have any older brothers, or cousins. Back in the day this situation would work itself out with a little "friendly" conversation with other 16 year old boys who would point out the error of the lad's ways. Think of it as an early intervention.
I am just wondering why the girl's father or mother just doesn't talk to the boy themselves. Something like: "Listen here, young man, my daughter is not allowed to have a 16 year old boyfriend, do you understand......or do I need to speak to your parents?"

Direct and to the point.
 
Old 03-07-2011, 05:53 PM
 
Location: Outside of Chicago
4,598 posts, read 3,747,366 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ProtectMom View Post
We moved into a new area 3 weeks ago. I have a young 12 year old daughter who is as cute and friendly as can be. She has a 16 year old boy who wants to be her boyfriend. My daughter has told him numerous times that she is not interested in have any boyfriend. This guy says hateful things when he is rejected and my daughter cries. She wants nothing to do with him. He calls and stalks her. What should I do? This is scaring both of us. What does a 16 year old want with a 12 year old anyway?
Find his parents and tell them. If it continues, tell the authorities.
 
Old 03-07-2011, 07:51 PM
 
Location: Some Beach... Somewhere...
4,571 posts, read 3,829,083 times
Reputation: 4735
Quote:
Originally Posted by Annie53 View Post
I am just wondering why the girl's father or mother just doesn't talk to the boy themselves. Something like: "Listen here, young man, my daughter is not allowed to have a 16 year old boyfriend, do you understand......or do I need to speak to your parents?"

Direct and to the point.
"Young man"???

And that would have what effect? I'm not hearing sounds of a 'come-to-Jesus' moment...

Translated: "Listen you little (*&^&^%&^$^%, You come within a hundred feet of my 12 y.o. daughter again and I'll cut off your ^&^%$^% and stuff them up your (*&*(&^!!!" (This needs to be said about 4" away from his face, with no physical contact whatsoever.)

Now do you think a hormone-driven 16 year old would react in a more desireable way to speech #1 or speech #2? I think a sense of survival and self preservation would take over. The only reaction to "..do I need to speak to your parents?" would be a smirk.
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