Will I ever be a mother?

[raggy491]

Originally Posted by ImElizabeth

Babies don't make me tickle.When I pass by the babies' hall in a supermarket, I don't feel anything..I don't think to myself " I can't wait to be a mom, I will be buying this this and that"

People always say having a kid will change everything! Your entire life will be swallowed by 2:00am feedings, dirty diapers, cramming schedules, constant germs worries, teenagers mood swings and college tuitions but yet they would not change having kids for anything in the world!

I've visited a friend who just had a baby.She confesses that she would trade working overtime than taking care of him right now until he turns 1 b ut it's still the most AMAZING thing that has ever happened to her.

So my question is: If babies are so much work why do we have them? I know women who go as far as divorcing and go adopt one on their own.

Is it an endless urge coming out of nowhere? Is it the instinct need for blood line and genes survival? Is it because you need someone to leave your inheritance to? What is it?

I think I would want to have some kids some day ( My hubby doesn't mind either way). I haven't pictured my life with kids yet, I just think they're adorable, that's all. If by the time I'm 28 I don't feel differently about having a kid (I'm 25 now) I will come to the conclusion that I'm just not the maternal type and babies are not for me..

So What made you want to have a kid?

I hear you all the way!! granted Im a guy, and guys think a little different. But Kids did nothing for me in my 20's , I had no serious though about them and said it wasnt happening for me.

Then 30 rolled around, the thoughts your having, started going through my head but still did not have any real answer should I do it. Wife and I had discussions over those years and still couldnt pull the trigger. I finally said If we dont do it by the time im 36 it will never happen. Then at thirty six I said ok maybe 38 but thats it. Now at 41, I am going to be a dad in September, I finally made the decision to do it.

Maybe It wont take that long for you to decide. But dont feel like your running out of time. People live longer now, want to have carreers, or enjoy freedom when there younger. there is time.

[raggy491]

Originally Posted by ImElizabeth

So What made you want to have a kid?

About 10 years of on and off considering it. Watching my peers raising there kids and how it affected them (both good and bad), and finally a cute little nephew (that I became close to when he hit about 3 years old, they seem so fun at that age 3-4).

[jasper12]

I never really looked at kids, noticed them, or even really touched one until I had one...not planned...I went to see my cousin's new baby...and I think that "kicked" something in me and wiped out the pills I was taking...because I was PG within a month of playing with that baby. When my baby was born, I looked at him, and he started to cry, and I thought, "Where is that baby's Mom?" Oh...that would be me! Okay...the first week was hilarious! I had no clue about the whole thing at all! Somehow, you just figure it all out...and everything works out. At least it did with me.

[Currency Pair Crocodile]

Ever heard people say "some people should just not be allowed to breed" ?

[Minervah]

So What made you want to have a kid?

I think you may also ask "So, what made you not want to have a kid?"

For me it was the "not want." Babies never did anything for me. When I was in my twenties I was married and figured I had better decide whether or not I was going to reproduce. My husband was indifferent but was beginning to bow to the pressure of his mother to give her grandkids.

I really, really gave it a lot of thought as I grew older. I never really came to feel any differently. I was told that if I had a baby I would instantly love it and all would be in place. I never really believed that though partly because my own mother was a prime example of a woman who had bought into that idea and was never happy with her decision and partly because I just never could get exited about kids.

I made the conscious decision never to have children and I have never regretted it. It's fine for those women who want them; I would never try to dissuade something from having kids as vehemently as some have tried to persuade me to have them. I feel having kids should be a choice if at all possible.

All I would suggest to the OP is to be true to yourself. Make your decision based on what you truly feel and not what you think you should feel. Having children is a commitment. Waiting until after they come to see whether or not you truly wanted them in my opinion is taking a huge chance on messing up your life and theirs.

[jasper12]

If I had not had my "mistake" I probably would have been perfectly happy without kids. I like my children, and was a good Mom, but always worked, even though I did not have to, I would have been insane as a SAHM. And I am glad my kids are on their own.