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Our almost five year old literally refuses to stop using diapers; since we lack the energy or patience (all attempts turn into screaming matches within thre minutes) to fight this, do they ever just grow out of it?
The cost of buying diapers is not a burden on us. However, its embarrassing and she can't go to day camp and stuff like that since toilet training is a requirement.
Our almost five year old literally refuses to stop using diapers; since we lack the energy or patience (all attempts turn into screaming matches within thre minutes) to fight this, do they ever just grow out of it?
The cost of buying diapers is not a burden on us. However, its embarrassing and she can't go to day camp and stuff like that since toilet training is a requirement.
Are you saying pee AND poo? Have you talked to your doctor about this? I mean, it's natural for some kids to have pee accidents at that age, but absolutely refusing to use the toilet at all? My oldest still had pee "accidents" at that time, but that was because he didn't stop himself from what he was interested in, soon enough to get to the bathroom.
I strongly suggest that you find the patience and energy to work on this with him and do not allow it to turn into a screaming match. If it turns into a screaming match, you are the one that loses. You need to remain firm and calm...."This is just the way we do things". Kids are CRUEL and insensitive and your son is going to be tormented to death in school if you don't take the time to figure out some sort of action/reward system with him on this.
I know it is hard, but you have to try to reduce the stress about using the toilet. I think it will go smoother if you let him think it is his decision. Unfortunately, I think the screaming matches are just setting him into stubborn mode.
When DD was potty training, we were almost there, but couldn't quite make it over the hurdle. We knew a couple who's daughter was a bit older that DD really looked up to as a "big kid" (she was only 6 months older, lol). We had them come over and when DD saw the big girl using the potty, she really wanted to do it too.
Another thing we did to help her move forward was telling her we couldn't do things because she wore diapers and diapers weren't allowed. We always said it in kind of a sad voice like "I am sorry you can't do that. If only you weren't wearing diapers it would be soooo much fun." Yes. We used an evil tactic, but it worked. She thought we were on her side and really wanted her to do these fun things, but she was still a baby and couldn't do them.
Do you plan on home-schooling? Will your public kindergarten/ elementary school take her in diapers, unless she has a certified disability of some kind? Kids do tt at different ages, but 5 is kinda old. My girl almost tt'd herself, at 3.5 years old, this summer. We tried a couple of times before without success, but this summer she was big into Dora, which we don't really like. But we said she could have "Dora big girl panties" if she went 3 days without an accident. She did immediately, and only one accident in the last 5 months. My younger daughter, 19 months, is already mostly potty trained for pee, as she just loves sitting on the "big girl potty" we have in her big sisters room. No guidance from us at all. On the other hand, big sister's twin brother (also 3.5) is no-where near trained. He has SPD and a speech delay, so while we tried a couple of times, we decided to forget about tt'ing him for a while.
That is very true!
I know several of the kids in the playschool class the twins attend twice a week potty trained over the summer by being told "if you still wear diapers, you cannot go back into the class with your best friend X because they are big girls/ boy and go to the big kids class where no diapers are allowed."
I think the issue lies not with your DD and it is an issue with your parenting. I would suggest talking to a counselor that specializes in parenting skills to teach you how to parent effectively.
Unless your child has some sort of developmental delay she should have been out of diapers years ago. At this age it will be much harder to train her than it would have if you did it 3 years ago. If you lack the energy and patience she will never get trained. I shudder to think of her future as well. If you lack the energy and patience to help your child attain a basic developmental milestone you are going to make life very difficult for her.
I think the issue lies not with your DD and it is an issue with your parenting. I would suggest talking to a counselor that specializes in parenting skills to teach you how to parent effectively.
My oldest son practically toilet trained himself at age 2, another son was over 4, he was the youngest. It was similar with my siblings, the baby of the family took the longest and my mother sought help from the doctor who said it was just that he enjoyed being a baby and she needed to make it less enjoyable for him.
If the child isn't mentally challenged, it's not always about terrible parenting, it can be that the child just enjoys the attention diaper changing gives him, or enjoys his or her special place in the family as the baby.
By age 4, I think it's time to start getting mad at them, not beating obviously but to make it less fun to be a diaper-baby. If they smell bad, telling them to get away from you because you can't stand the smell might make them not want to sit in poop, and when they're big enough to change their own diapers, you might tell them they have to start doing that.
Also you might have to tell them that they can't do some fun things because it's only for big kids, not diaper-babies. You have to take the fun out of being a baby and then they will decide they don't want to be one.
Our almost five year old literally refuses to stop using diapers; since we lack the energy or patience (all attempts turn into screaming matches within thre minutes) to fight this, do they ever just grow out of it?
The cost of buying diapers is not a burden on us. However, its embarrassing and she can't go to day camp and stuff like that since toilet training is a requirement.
Maybe she doesn't want to go to day camp and so will sit in diapers to avoid having to leave home.
Definitely stop the screaming matches. They can end up being attention and what you want to do is not give her any attention for this but make it less enjoyable in other ways.
The problem with toilet training is it's one area that only they can control, you can't control their bladder and bowels for them. Stress can be a factor because holding it in is easier than releasing on cue - and stress can make the release impossible. It has to stay relaxed for that reason. If it's turned into a battle, and attention getting, they know they can win because it's the only one area of their lives you really cannot control.
It would be better to have her on the toilet and praise her even if nothing happens, tell her well at least she tried. Encourage and praise the trying, ignore the stubborness. When something happens even a toot, you have to be overjoyed, very proud and praising.
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