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I'm still freaking out about that teen moving here. I really don't have hope of it working out.
Hopes! Stop it. You made the commitment, this is no time for cold feet. If you have doubts you may well inadvertently pass them on to your family and the teen and it may all fall apart. You need to keep an optimistic attitude, and if it all goes too poo, well so what, that's life. Better to give this kid a go than not.
Don't sabotage it. You made up your mind to do a good thing and you wouldn't have done that if you didn't think it was worthwhile when you decided to do it.
Chin up, woman! Where's SuperHopes that fights for justice in a cruel world? Get your red thong with the big "H" on it out and get on with it.
You are giving him an incredible opportunity, it's up to him now to make the most of it, and there's nothing more you can do. If it doesn't work, at least you tried.
Thanks. I talked with hubby about how I'm feeling about it. I want to step emotionally away from it. I can't let this consume me. I need to acquire an "it will be whatever it will be" mentality. I'm afraid he won't listen to us, that he thinks he's an adult. The reality is that he's not really an adult until he's supporting himself. Until that time, he has to accept our rules and advice. I'm just hoping that he embraces it. We're not overpowering.
Our list of rules was long and all very appropriate given the circumstances. He readily accepted all of our rules---including the rule that he has to sleep at our house 6 nights per week. He's sleeping everywhere and anywhere right now. I know in my heart that I will resent him only crashing here on a random night here and there. I also don't think it's healthy for him to not create a stable life. I was a bit surprised that he was okay with that rule.
It was only the curfew caused him to pause. Considering everything, I think the curfew is reasonable: be home at 11pm on school nights and midnight on weekends. After he graduates, it's midnight all nights of the week indefinitely---until he has proven he can make intelligent decisions and chose the right friends.
I'm just not comfortable with him coming and going from my house while I'm sleeping. I have no problem with my own children doing that but they never went down the wrong road in life.
I wasn't having a problem with this until yesterday. I called his father, out of courtesy, to let him know I was taking in his son. During that call, I found out that this teen has a court date this week for underaged drinking. THAT'S THE FIRST I'VE HEARD ABOUT IT! That's when I started stressing out. But I've always know there were red flags. I shouldn't be surprised. And the red flags are the very reason we've decided to give him a chance. It's just freaking me out.
But my husband and I are the only people left he listens to---besides his guidance counselor and teachers. He has never given us, hubby and I, a problem throughout all of the years we've known him.
I hope it does, but if it doesn't at least you know you tried your best.
Thanks. I really just need to stop investing so much worry into this. I need to get myself to my usual optimistic self. Worry will eat me away.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FinsterRufus
Hopes! Stop it. You made the commitment, this is no time for cold feet. If you have doubts you may well inadvertently pass them on to your family and the teen and it may all fall apart. You need to keep an optimistic attitude, and if it all goes too poo, well so what, that's life. Better to give this kid a go than not.
Don't sabotage it. You made up your mind to do a good thing and you wouldn't have done that if you didn't think it was worthwhile when you decided to do it.
Chin up, woman! Where's SuperHopes that fights for justice in a cruel world? Get your red thong with the big "H" on it out and get on with it.
LMAO! I actually do own one red thong! I didn't seek it out. It came in one of those three pack deals.
I wouldn't back out after making a commitment. I just started freaking out last night after I heard about the upcoming court date.
I didn't say a word to my son about my feelings. I don't want to put negativity into the family mindset. It's good to talk to hubby though. He has a very healthy and realistic outlook on this and just about everything in life.
The other thing that bothered me was the phone call I had with him today. I told him he needed to keep in touch with his father, that his father says he only hears from him when he needs something. Well, I've had that same problem with him myself over the past 6 months. You know what he said?!?! Yeah, I haven't called him lately because I haven't needed anything. It's like he doesn't GET it. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Why does it matter? Afterall, his father treated him like crap. Well, it's that little thing called GRANTS for continuing his education. He's going to need his father to provide the financial information from his tax forms. He needs to learn to not burn bridges.
Yeah, I know you wouldn't back out, just trying to give you a pep talk and make you chuckle a little.
Might have to be naughty and have KFC tonight. We eat very well in this house but the Kentucky Ducky is a weakness of mine. Plus they have a $10 bucket on Sunday. What's not to love?
Spent the morning putting together two new bookcases. If anyone is in the market for that type of thing it's the Target Avington Collection. Very easy to put together. I was stunned. Plus they look great. Also on sale this week. I love Target. They load it onto the cart and into your car. Sooo easy. Color matched my Dad's roll top desk so I'm happy.
Hopes: I'm thinking of you. I don't know how you do it. I could talk to kids with problems, but always nixed having them move in. Was never quite that brave.
Muey bien la Finster. I loooove walking around the outside aisles of Target. The ones up against the outer walls where they put all the clearance stuff. I have gotten some fabulous bargains that way. Top prize was probably the $400.00 exercise bike for $79.00. And it was on display so it was already assembled. I buy Christmas presents in July from the clearance shelves. Nice.
I'm a Target fan too. Everything there is more stylish and hip compared to the other discount department stores. I wish they carried more duvet covers these days.
I just got back from a walk to Target with the kids. I love that I can walk, but it is hard to keep my purchases down to what I can carry home! I have a meatloaf in the oven. It is super easy - 1lb meat, 1 cup stove top stuffing, 1 egg, 1/2 cup milk, top with BBQ sauce, bake at 350 for 1.5 hours.
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It's like he doesn't GET it. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Why does it matter? Afterall, his father treated him like crap. Well, it's that little thing called GRANTS for continuing his education. He's going to need his father to provide the financial information from his tax forms. He needs to learn to not burn bridges.
