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First, if you work in a medical field, your expectation of documentation is probably different than that of the schools. When talking with other parents in my role as a special needs advocate, I can guarantee that the people most disappointed by educational documentation are nurses. There simply may not have been an incident report filed, whether it should have been or not.
Second: document everything yourself. EVERYTHING. And keep a copy of it in a file drawer. Sick day excuses, disciplinary notes, emails to the teachers. Chances are good you'll never need that documentation-- but if you do, reconstructing after the fact is a bad idea.
Third: at least in this district, children have two files. There's the file with the usual-- grades, end of year test scores, etc. And then there's the "red file" (which isn't metaphorical, it's really red) which contains copies of EVERYTHING, including the note the teacher sent home in first grade about Johnny picking his nose in math class. I don't know if your district has an equivalent, but it's worth asking for. (And yes, they can require that you read it in the office, or in a conference room, or wherever, but as the legal guardian they cannot deny you from photocopies-- though they might well try. School office staff are not necessarily well versed in legalities.)
But they don't have to *send* photocopies to the legal guardian. They may require that the legal guardian pick them up, and they may require that the legal guardian pay for each page copied, and if the legal guardian wants multiple copies, they may require payment per copy. And they may require advance notice, in writing, for preparation.
It is very possible that no adults witnessed said incident and any documentation would have been purely speculation put together by varying accounts of each student, so perhaps they chose not to speculate.
If your child was sent to the nurses office for being hurt, then the nurse might have an injury report or office visit report.
I'm not sure what it is that you want to take forward, but I can tell you that they cannot and will not tell you how they are handling the 'bully'. His rights are protected the same as your child, and they legally cannot tell you any actions that have been taken. There may be all kinds of things documented against the bully, referrals made, evaluations done and so on, and you will never know about them. Everything is done behind the scenes and protected by his rights.
First, if you work in a medical field, your expectation of documentation is probably different than that of the schools. When talking with other parents in my role as a special needs advocate, I can guarantee that the people most disappointed by educational documentation are nurses. There simply may not have been an incident report filed, whether it should have been or not.
Second: document everything yourself. EVERYTHING. And keep a copy of it in a file drawer. Sick day excuses, disciplinary notes, emails to the teachers. Chances are good you'll never need that documentation-- but if you do, reconstructing after the fact is a bad idea.
Third: at least in this district, children have two files. There's the file with the usual-- grades, end of year test scores, etc. And then there's the "red file" (which isn't metaphorical, it's really red) which contains copies of EVERYTHING, including the note the teacher sent home in first grade about Johnny picking his nose in math class. I don't know if your district has an equivalent, but it's worth asking for. (And yes, they can require that you read it in the office, or in a conference room, or wherever, but as the legal guardian of a minor child they cannot deny you from photocopies-- though they might well try. School office staff are not necessarily well versed in legalities.)
Thank you for these thoughts. Yes, I agree school documentation is sorely lacking as I've witnessed over the years my children have attended.
I have documented EVERYTHING and will continue to do so.
I now understand that there are 2 files although the principal has said there has been nothing entered into my son's "red" one. The district office said that I do have a right to view HIS entire file and get a copy of it.
I've realized this too: The school has no desire to suspend or expel school bullies after numerous (and I mean more that 6) offenses so far this year. Apparently, In-School-Suspension is the best they've got. I do understand the desire of the school admin to want to "save" these kids but I question it being done at the expense of other kids' learning and safety. I'm just trying to stay level headed about this -- it is just hard some days.
I'm not sure what it is that you want to take forward, but I can tell you that they cannot and will not tell you how they are handling the 'bully'. His rights are protected the same as your child, and they legally cannot tell you any actions that have been taken. There may be all kinds of things documented against the bully, referrals made, evaluations done and so on, and you will never know about them. Everything is done behind the scenes and protected by his rights.
It is just too bad that the child who is being bullied isn't protected with the same vigor that the "rights" of the bully is.
It is interesting how at first I was angry that my son retaliated and tackled the bully, but maybe, just maybe, him standing up for himself was FAR MORE effective to stop the bullying than what I as his parent could ever do!
It is just too bad that the child who is being bullied isn't protected with the same vigor that the "rights" of the bully is.
Your child's rights are equally protected. Nobody has access to your child's records either.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kwalk65
It is funny how at first I was angry that my son retaliated and tackled the bully, but maybe, just maybe, him standing up for himself was FAR MORE effective to stop the bullying than what I as his parent could ever do!
It is effective. I guarantee you that other future bullies will think twice before bullying your son.
Sometimes it just takes standing up yourself once and it sends the message to everyone that you're not going to be a victim.
Bullies pick on people that give them opportunities to bully. It's true. People hate hearing it because they think it blames the victim.
But the reality is that some people attract bullies because they don't know how to stand up for themselves.
I'm not just talking physically standing up for themselves. I'm talking mentally standing up for themselves.
It's a very important skill for children to learn or they could go on to be victims for the rest of their lives.
Parents getting involved to punish the bully only solves half the problem if they're not also helping their children learn how to not be victims on their own.
Parents getting involved to punish the bully only solves half the problem if they're not also helping their children learn how to not be victims on their own.
I totally agree. I don't want my son to think it is okay to retaliate -- BUT when it comes to kids that bully others I think your child standing up for themselves is VERY empowering. My son said he didn't care what punishment he got --- anything was better than letting that bully get the best of him. I think he's right.
But they don't have to *send* photocopies to the legal guardian. They may require that the legal guardian pick them up, and they may require that the legal guardian pay for each page copied, and if the legal guardian wants multiple copies, they may require payment per copy. And they may require advance notice, in writing, for preparation.
If a child was accused of inappropriate touching another student and a police spoke to the accusers parents, is the parent supposed to get a incident report?
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