Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I live in a family with 2 sisters, both older than I. Their opinions are always taken over mine and I don't seem to have a voice in the household. I am the youngest and would think my parents would care about me more because I am the last one to leave the house. They seem to act like since I'm a guy they don't have to care that much and I should take care of myself. This has severely hurt me emotionally and they have no idea it's even going on. I ask them if they see what they're doing and they say I'm being dramatic and don't know what I'm talking about. I'm tired of being the black-sheep and have no where to go. I wish I was cared for and loved and given privileges just like my older sisters. I'm actually 20 and my parents are away and my Mom said through text that my sister is in charge (she's 23).
No, I love both of my kids equally for different reasons. My mother favored 2 brothers while another brother and myself fended for ourselves. I vowed when I had children not to do what my mother did and I haven't.
I wish I was cared for and loved and given privileges just like my older sisters. I'm actually 20 and my parents are away and my Mom said through text that my sister is in charge (she's 23).
If you're 20, then you don't have to wait around for your parents to "give you more privileges." They don't have that kind of power. You're an adult.
Would your parents admit they love or like one of your brothers or sisters more than another? I know this is quite common but has an incredible effect on the kids and adults who are not favored.
Due to chemistry and ease of communication--- do you favor one of your kids more than others? How does it affect your kids?
If ease of communication can be defined as favoring then yes. I have one child I can talk to easily and one who is difficult to communicate with. She tends to take everything said personally so you have to walk on eggshells with her. My other daughter takes everything in stride so you can be downright blunt with her and it will roll of like water off of a duck.
I don't love one child more than the other but I have an easier relationship with one over the other. I worry about my hyper reactive daughter more than her sister. I have more fears for what life will be like for her.
No, I love both of my kids equally for different reasons. My mother favored 2 brothers while another brother and myself fended for ourselves. I vowed when I had children not to do what my mother did and I haven't.
Interesting. My mother favored my sister over me yet I find, as a mother myself, I now understand why she did. Different kids need different things. I'm stronger than my sister because my mother didn't coddle me. My sister never has been able to fend for herself and never will be able to.
I love both of my kids but treat them differently. Dd#1 if hyper reactive and you have to watch what you say/do around her. Dd#2 is easy going and loves to be joked around with. Joke around with dd#1 and you risk tears, stomping fits and door slamming drama queen over reactions. Dd#1 needs, constant, little gifts or thoughful actions to feel loved. Dd#2 just needs hugs. I try to give both of my kids what they need whether they feel it's fair or not.
My father doesn't favor one of us over the other, but my mother does. She won't admit it outright, but the way she acts and some things sha HAS said make it clear to me that she favors my brother over me. I've lost count on how many times throughout my life that she admitting treating my brother differently (as in better than me) because 1) he's a boy ( as in "girls are stupid"), 2) he's the first born, and 3) he was born in Japan.
My father was in the military and stationed in Japan, and my mother thinks my brother having been born overseas is the greatest thing in the world.
Also, she has said many times that she wished I was more like (insert name of any of her friend's kids), but she has never said such a thing about my brother.
I'm pretty sure my parents like my sibling more than me, but they'd never tell me directly. I was always very different from my family and felt like I didn't belong. As an adult, it's the same and I never became friends with my parents. They just tolerate me, I tolerate them, and we don't interact much since I live far from them. I've even had people who know my parents who then met me comment on how extremely different I am. I don't hold anything against them, but I do sometimes wish I could have a family and siblings who I liked and was friends with.
As for my own kids, I have no preference and will go out of my way to be close to them and involved in their lives, even if their interests aren't the same as mine.
I have two boys, ages are 19 and 10. The 19 yr old is away at college.
A few days ago, I mentioned something about sibling rivalry and my 10 yr said, "Well, it's OBVIOUS you like him better because you talk about him all the time." He said this with a strained voice, fighting back tears (he hates to cry in front of us).
I had NO IDEA he felt this way and felt like an absolute jerk. We have had many issues with the older one and worry about it all the time. The younger one is practically perfect, so we don't worry about him at all. I felt extra stupid, because the same thing happened to my oldest sister. She was practically ignored because she never did anything wrong.
So, now I make a special effort to tell the 10 yr old how much we appreciate him, are proud of him and how happy we are to have him for a son.
Let me warn other parents out there, IT'S SO EASY TO MAKE THIS MISTAKE. Imagine if he hadn't said anything. How many years would have gone by with this lump sticking in his throat??!!!
I know this is an old thread but I will throw my two cents in since it has be revived. I have only one child so of course my son is my favorite. I have witnessed parents playing favorites. Some not realizing they do it and others are obvious. My MIL is pretty open on who her favorites are. She actually told my one SIL. " I love you because you are a my daughter but if you were not my daughter. I would not want to spend time with you. You simply aren't my kind." Damnnn. I always knew the woman was cold but wow.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I have witnessed parents playing favorites. Some not realizing they do it and others are obvious. My MIL is pretty open on who her favorites are. She actually told my one SIL. " I love you because you are a my daughter but if you were not my daughter. I would not want to spend time with you. You simply aren't my kind." Damnnn. I always knew the woman was cold but wow. 
