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Old 07-27-2007, 09:15 AM
 
Location: VA
784 posts, read 3,210,244 times
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Would your parents admit they love or like one of your brothers or sisters more than another? I know this is quite common but has an incredible effect on the kids and adults who are not favored.

Due to chemistry and ease of communication--- do you favor one of your kids more than others? How does it affect your kids?
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Old 07-27-2007, 09:38 AM
 
Location: Home of the Blockhouse Races
3,093 posts, read 6,439,857 times
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Quote:
Would your parents admit they love or like one of your brothers or sisters more than another? I know this is quite common but has an incredible effect on the kids and adults who are not favored.
Mine never did...

My daddy now has trouble talking to my sister but that is her doing not his. She is the one who has cut the ties.

Quote:
Due to chemistry and ease of communication--- do you favor one of your kids more than others? How does it affect your kids?
Ease of communication...well, yeah...the yonger one is so much easier to talk to, she is a social butterfly. The older one hardly puts two words together. We try but it's like pulling teeth out of her. And getting phone calls from her seems to be a lost art on her part. When we call her, we seem to get her voice mail 99.99% of the time and then she forgets to return the call.

Does it affect them??? Probably, but we keep trying. Maybe someday, we will get thru to the older one. Liz
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Old 07-27-2007, 10:44 AM
 
Location: NY to FL to ATL
612 posts, read 1,960,228 times
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In my family, my younger brother is known as 'the golden child'. We all accept it, there's nothing else you can do. It's a family joke now. It affects me a little bit, well, a little bit more than that, to the point where I will only have my one child so that the same thing will not happen in my family.
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Old 07-27-2007, 11:01 AM
 
4,249 posts, read 297,835 times
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Growing up there was 5 of us. The older two were definatley favored ; the younger three will all say it. I was the youngest. My mum admitted it at one time saying ; when your dad was here, I would send the older two to the police station when he was abusing me, so I felt I had to make it up to them.
WTF ; at least they knew their dad, he left when they were 12,13. He left when I was about 4. My mum would make fried potatoes especially for my older brother as he wouldnt eat regular mash.

Me, I have two boys. I treasure both of them in different ways. I love my older son as he is a gentleman, he struggled with OT and PT and at the age of 8, he is a very good boy.

The younger I treasure as he was on life support when he was a baby, he is super smart, he would give you the shirt off his back if you were cold. He is also a good boy who adores his brother.
d
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Old 07-27-2007, 11:40 AM
 
Location: Happiness is found inside your smile :)
3,177 posts, read 10,195,352 times
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I am the one that is favored more - but mostly because I'm smart go-getter type

To be honest - they fluxuate in our life between the two of us - I've seen her be the favorite then they go back to me for a couple years - then her for a couple years...

Neither of us are a bad seed so they do a pretty good job at making us both feel good
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Old 07-27-2007, 12:31 PM
 
Location: In a house
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My two children, grown now, are each very different but I do not love either one more or less...just differently. I am proud of my daughter for being so independent and stands up for herself! Now my son is the gentle, compassionate one. I respect him being such a loving person. Totally different but equally loved!!
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Old 07-27-2007, 03:25 PM
 
6,978 posts, read 16,628,511 times
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I have two sisters in law. They are both in their 80s now, but one is still complaining that the mother treated the older one best.

I won't tell you how many times that I have started to tell her that her sister doesn't whine, complain or talk constantly about herself. I suspect that as a child, she was a tattletale and argued about everything. Yes, I am quite sure that it may be likely that Mother did treat one better. The other sister had an entirely different personality.
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Old 07-28-2007, 09:56 PM
 
Location: Beautiful Kentucky
820 posts, read 1,905,208 times
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My kids are older... dtr 17 and son 20. They both think my son is my favorite. I've often thought about why this is and if I've done something "wrong" in raising them. They both also seem to think it's funny and make jokes about the subject. I love both of my children more than anything in the world and respect the differences and blessings that both bring to the world. There must be something that I do though if they both feel this way?
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Old 07-29-2007, 03:19 AM
 
Location: Happy in Utah
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I do not think it is one child is loved more, rather than a parent relates to a child easier than the other.
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Old 07-29-2007, 03:53 AM
 
Location: Tuxedo Park, NY
419 posts, read 1,453,064 times
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My parents never liked me or my siblings. They would lock us all in the closet, rarely feed us, and beat us daily...hahaha...no. But being serious now.

I think that in a lot of families each sibling feels less favored than the others. From a person who's one of four, I feel it's a very natural thing, and it becomes increasingly noticeable in the teen years, but tapers off as we get into our 20s or so. When I was a teenager, I felt like my younger sister got all the attention because she was the youngest, and my parents liked my older brother and sister more because they were in college and striving towards degrees, while I was wrestling in highschool, doing amateur MMA fights, and trying to get in girl's pants. In retrospect, if I were my younger sister, I would have felt the same way about my oldest brother and sister, and felt that my older teenage brother was getting more focused attention from my parents, because when they talked to him, it was for the most part private conversations.

Now that we're all "out of the nest", I feel that looking back, my parents always loved us equally, and raised us all the same way. My sister is still in college, so my mother is still partially protective of her, and she get's more "attention" than the rest of us, but once you're 24 years old, have a wife and son, with another on the way, you sort of want less and less attention, and more and more privacy anyways. As for my father, he retired when he was 35, so for a good part of our youth, he was the easy one to deal with. Fortunately, he did what he needed to do to "put food on the table" for as long as we would need it, and he didn't start working full-time again until just recently, so we got more attention from him than we needed growing up. Just imagine; there I was in my room, 17 years old, trying to score with this girl I met in my statistics class, and my dad comes in, asking if I want to go skating with my brother and sisters. Jeez dad! Haha.

Anyways, now that I'm a parent, I wonder if my children will eventually feel this same way. When I was growing up, I didn't notice this favoritism until I was probably 17, so I'm not sure if some children feel it at younger ages. What I know is that when I was 9, I wanted to play street hockey and video games all day, and never thought once to myself, "hmmm, I bet mom likes Tony, Marie, and Carmella more than me.."
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