If you found out your child got suspended for bloodying up the class bully

[Ivorytickler]

I would be proud as a peacock that my child stood up to the bully. And relieved as well because kids who are bullied and don't stand up for themselves can end up dead.

I voted for reward but the reward but it would be more like not grounding them and treating the suspension as a vacation.

[johna01374]

My step son was having problems with a bully in his class a couple of months back. The kid would kick him, punch him, push him over, wedgies, take his back pack away etc....

One day my kid had enough and nailed the bully right in the mouth. Busted both lips, big bruise on the side of his face etc... His mom and I had to go get him. The principal started telling us the story and I stopped him and asked my SS to tell me what really happened. Keep in mind that we are both aware of the bully and have informed the school several times. He told me the bully kicked him in the stomach then spit on him so he punched the bully....

I gave my SS a high five and turned to the principal and told them that this incident was the schools fault for not reacting on the numerous notices we had given them about this bully. He threatened to suspend my kid. I said great I can take him to Disney as a reward for a job well done then I reminded him that I had copies of all of the correspondence back and forth with the school regarding the bully and would be more than willing to take it directly to the school board.

Long story short is the bully was suspended and my kid was given a free pass. Since this incident the kid is no longer a bully to anyone and there have been no further problems.

[pythonis]

punt? whats punt?

[dr74]

Directed towards the OP...

Being that I myself have gotten into scuffles because of sticking up for the underdog? And the way my parents dealt with it make me inclined to say the following..

Find out the stats..
Was my child protecting the rights of another?
Was he in the right to do this?

I have always told my son that the world is not fair and there will be a time when somebody will pick on him and he needs to speak to a teacher or the principle..This is when he was younger..
Now that he is 13 and about to start HS?

And up until this point he has never been in any fights but has verbally stuck up for friends and others? I tell him that his father and I have his back and if comes to sticking up for himself and the rights of others? Have at it and we will behind him 100%...

If this means putting it back on faculty for not having enough supervision, enough anti bullying policies or just lazy that they are not adhering to them? We will handle it...

[SKP440]

The shame of it all is that due to the so called "zero tolerance" policies (another example of how society backs out of dealing with the offender directly by equally punishing the victim so the various special interest groups don't sue) kids have to worry about defending themselves and being possibly suspended even though they did the right thing. In some of the earlier posts there are a number of examples where a child has told his/her parents, made the school aware of the problem (which they usually are aware of the problem because lets face it a kid who bullies other children doesn't just bully other kids out of the blue they have built up a reputation for the behavior), and the school in turn does little or nothing until the victim hits back. Then they are right there ready to suspend the kid for defending him/herself, are given lectures on "anger management", and told how this type of behavior will not be tolerated. Really? Try telling that to the bullied kids parents oh I'm sorry you can't because that kids parents don't give a crap and didn't even show up to the school to pick up the kid. My child was bullied and that about sums up what I actually told the dean and assistant principal. They let my son return to class without further incident.

[Strel]

Originally Posted by FreshFresh

how would you deal with them?

This happened several times to me when I was a kid - I was skinny, had glasses and braces...and was a brown belt in Shotokan karate, which was often an unpleasant surprise for bullies.

I was publicly reprimanded by my father for the benefit of the school officials who suspended me (it didn't matter who started it, both combatants got suspended), but privately he thought it was hilarious.

[green_mariner]

Originally Posted by FreshFresh

how would you deal with them?

This thread reminds me of my middle school and high school days. Me and my father would have our little talks on how to deal with people trying to be bullies. Before middle school, my father always said "if someone hits you, you hit them back. If the teacher wants to try and suspend you, let them, but don't let some bully punk you out". When we moved to a different school district, he found that rule really didn't apply very well. In middle school, the police were actually called for fighting in school, if you got caught.

I can relate to this thread because I was the kid who got bullied in school. I know what it's like not to have a fair fight. Frequently being the smallest kid in the class, some of the bigger kids sometimes thought "we can get what we want from that kid. He's little. If he resists, we can just deck in the head." This meant no fair fight. It was always someone bigger than me. My freshman year of high school, I got jumped in class by 2 students bigger than me.

My gut answer for this would be denounce his act in public, but reward him in private. If I had a child and he bloodied up the class bully, good for him. I have been on the receiving end of a bully many times, so I know what it's like. I would be more angry with the bully for being a bully in the first place, and with the parents for not reining that kid in.

[Bandon]

I remember this one time when I was in junior high, this one girl just wouldn't leave me the heck alone, constant namecalling in the halls, threatening to beat me up after school (she walked the same route I did) and because she was popular and I wasn't, at that particular time in my life I was easily intimidated..so I put up with it..... and put up with it....until one day my mother came to pick me up and on the drive home the girl just happened to be walking past and yelled something at me through the window.

So my mom SLAMS on the breaks making the tires screech and says to me "You are NOT putting up with this, get out there and beat the crap out of her". I was powered up not only by my mothers presence but also her fire lol and stepped out of the car authoritatively and slammed the door and said "Ok..let's have this out RIGHT NOW !!!"

Do you want to guess what she did ?

All of a sudden, without her posse around to buoy her up I suspect, her power left her and she was all apologetic saying "I don't want to fight, really I don't" and went scampering off.

It was hilarious !!! And she never bothered me again.

This other time a mean girl kept poking me from behind in line at the cafeteria and giggling with her friends about it. Finally I'd had enough and slapped her face so hard I broke her brace retainer. Tears actually sprang to her eyes and she was all "You're going to get it" but miracle of miracles she never bothered me again.

See how that works, braindead pre-programmed school personnel ? If the bullied are allowed to fight back, that's often what it TAKES to stop a bully in it's tracks.

Of course, this was back in the day when "having it out" with a bully was considered NORMAL and accepted. We all know what todays world is like, sadly.

You can guess which choice I made in the poll.