U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 04-11-2011, 12:52 PM
 
Location: Australia
1,492 posts, read 2,657,358 times
Reputation: 1693

Advertisements

Recently there were a few threads on bullying so I though I would relate this.

After school yesterday I attended a meeting with my 12yo son's teacher. This is the usual twice a year or so meeting where they let you know how the kid is doing. Academically all was Ok. When we discussed behaviour, it seems that my son has been taking the fall. The teacher gave a couple of examples that all had a similar theme.

The group of boys will go down to the oval at lunch time to kick a ball or run around or whatever and they will be followed by a group of girls who are 'in lust'. The boys of course have no clue. They just want to run and kick and discuss cars. So eventually one of the boys will say something to get rid of the girls like "your fat" or "ugly" or "f*** off. The girls then go and tell the teacher and for some reason they have been naming my son as the one who said this.

The teacher said that the difficulty is that she knows that my son did not say it but he won't say who did and often from my discussions with him he does not know who said it anyway or if it even was actually said. We had known that something was up because a few times he had come home from school somewhat depressed and said that he had been acused of saying things to the girls when he hadn't. It seems that each time the school does the politically right thing in that a complaint has been made by one child and so they haul the other child in for questioning. Problem is he sees that as him being found guilty for something he did not do.

Interesting problem in todays politically correct climate.

In my days, the girls did their thing and the boys kicked the footie and the only girls who played with the boys were the ones who liked to play footie and so the bullying stayed within the sexes and not across the sexes as I recall anyway.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 04-11-2011, 01:41 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,059,506 times
Reputation: 30261
Quote:
Originally Posted by aidxen View Post
The teacher said that the difficulty is that she knows that my son did not say it but he won't say who did and often from my discussions with him he does not know who said it anyway or if it even was actually said. We had known that something was up because a few times he had come home from school somewhat depressed and said that he had been acused of saying things to the girls when he hadn't. It seems that each time the school does the politically right thing in that a complaint has been made by one child and so they haul the other child in for questioning. Problem is he sees that as him being found guilty for something he did not do.

Interesting problem in todays politically correct climate.
This has been my experience as well. Two girls once went to the principal and said my son son said something he didn't say. He said something close to it but they twisted the meaning to mean something else. By the time it was over, 8 other girls were reporting that they heard him say it----but those girls were in an entirely different classroom at the time it happened. Since it was proven that most of the girls couldn't have even heard the exchange, the principal was reasonable. Meanwhile, my son went through a week of feeling like he was in trouble for something he didnt' do before it was all sorted out. I hate political correctness.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-11-2011, 01:49 PM
 
157 posts, read 109,542 times
Reputation: 225
I really feel for your son. It stinks that he's accused of saying things he doesn't.

Is it bullying though? I've been turning this over in my mind, and what the girls are saying is wrong. If they know that the boys are going to chase them off, they should just stay away unless they are going to ignore what the boys say, but to stay until things are said, then tattle, just isn't right.

Your son needs to learn how to be assertive and up front. If he does't want to talk to the teacher about who is actually saying those things, he should have a chat with the person himself and tell him he's getting a little tired of being blamed for their actions.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-13-2011, 08:46 AM
 
12,447 posts, read 14,582,889 times
Reputation: 14171
If the teacher says that she knows that your son did not say it, then explain that to your son, and tell him to try and just shrug it off. I don't understand the teacher seeing any difficulty in that, her difficulty is really that she can't get your son to be a FINK.....why does she keep calling your son in if she knows he's innocent??, and why can't these trusted professionals deal with these problems ....I mean , really, it's like they're afraid to be responsible , and therefore do nothing....or more often than not, they punish the victim as much or more than the offender.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top