7yo girl gets plastic surgery to avoid bullying (baby, friend, kids)
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People are posting as if this is an all or nothing stance. It certainly is not for me. I have tried to raise my children to be proud of who they are, and acknowledge that everyone is and looks different. There are things about our bodies that we like, and there are other things we dislike. But I think any reasonable parent is able to take note of an unfortunate anatomical feature and see how it impacts a child over the years. If it is not a big deal, then great. If it becomes a big deals, then hopefully parent would be savvy enough to try different things, with surgery being the last resort. The same principles apply for most aspects of parenting. What is so hard to comprehend about that?
People are posting as if this is an all or nothing stance. It certainly is not for me. I have tried to raise my children to be proud of who they are, and acknowledge that everyone is and looks different. There are things about our bodies that we like, and there are other things we dislike. But I think any reasonable parent is able to take note of an unfortunate anatomical feature and see how it impacts a child over the years. If it is not a big deal, then great. If it becomes a big deals, then hopefully parent would be savvy enough to try different things, with surgery being the last resort. The same principles apply for most aspects of parenting. What is so hard to comprehend about that?
Zimbo....you just make WAAAY too much sense...come on!
People are posting as if this is an all or nothing stance. It certainly is not for me. I have tried to raise my children to be proud of who they are, and acknowledge that everyone is and looks different. There are things about our bodies that we like, and there are other things we dislike. But I think any reasonable parent is able to take note of an unfortunate anatomical feature and see how it impacts a child over the years. If it is not a big deal, then great. If it becomes a big deals, then hopefully parent would be savvy enough to try different things, with surgery being the last resort. The same principles apply for most aspects of parenting. What is so hard to comprehend about that?
That goes both ways. Opposing the surgery isn't the same as saying we wouldn't do anything about the issue.
If it's a bullying issue, yes, I would absolutely approach the school about the situation. And yes, I do believe there is something to be said about standing up for yourself rather than giving into the bullies and getting your body modified so they will stop.
There is A LOT you can do without going the plastic surgery route. Are you seriously suggesting that surgery is the only reasonable route for curtailing bullying?
Sort of like the song A Boy Named Sue?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25
I never said I would refrain from intervening. Lots of people have pointed or large or small or folded ears (one or both).
I don't like the message that it sends to change the "offending" attribute of a child.
First off, the child had not been bullied more than a couple times. The mother was trying to prevent it from becoming a situation where the daughter was being bullied about it.
You would seriously force your child to grow up with a deformity just to invite bullying?
What if your child had a club foot, or a cleft palet, or crossed eyes, or webbed toes, or an extra finger on one or both hands, or any of the other deformities that may or may not invite bullying? You would leave them just the way the are and make them feel like targets because 'Mom says she won't get my deformity fixed and I should just ignore it while it stares me in the face every single day.'?
Your child with a deformity may seem perfect to you, and beautiful, but if you could save them from heartache, not even considering the bullying, why would you do that to your child?
You see your child every day and likely wouldn't notice it, but believe me, others DO notice. Do you seriously WANT that to be the first thing every person she comes in contact with notices about her?
Plain looks, one's build, etc. are things that you can't do much about, but if it's a deformity that can be easily fixed why not take care of it so the child can feel beautiful and like everybody else?
First off, the child had not been bullied more than a couple times. The mother was trying to prevent it from becoming a situation where the daughter was being bullied about it.
You would seriously force your child to grow up with a deformity just to invite bullying?
What if your child had a club foot, or a cleft palet, or crossed eyes, or webbed toes, or an extra finger on one or both hands, or any of the other deformities that may or may not invite bullying? You would leave them just the way the are and make them feel like targets because 'Mom says she won't get my deformity fixed and I should just ignore it while it stares me in the face every single day.'?
Your child with a deformity may seem perfect to you, and beautiful, but if you could save them from heartache, not even considering the bullying, why would you do that to your child?
You see your child every day and likely wouldn't notice it, but believe me, others DO notice. Do you seriously WANT that to be the first thing every person she comes in contact with notices about her?
Plain looks, one's build, etc. are things that you can't do much about, but if it's a deformity that can be easily fixed why not take care of it so the child can feel beautiful and like everybody else?
Because I don't believe we should all look the same. I don't believe we should modify differences in looks because of societal pressures.
Her ears are not the same as cleft palate or club foot, each of which impedes the natural function of the body part it affects. I would not fix webbed toes or extra fingers unless it interfered with the body's natural function.
Margritte you would seriously NOT remove any extra appendages (fingers) if your child was born that way? Boy I surely would. Do you have children? Do you not realize how tortured a person would be, especially in childhood, if they were so much different than "normal" people?
I knew a boy in school who was born with his right arm ending in just one very strange finger. He went all thru gradeschool with that deformity and was miserable. it quite frankly frightened the other children and he was very isolated. Right before middle school his parents had that part of his "hand" amputated and his arm just ended at what would have been his wrist.
From then on, he simply looked like a boy who had lost his hand. He told me he lost some utility as that strange finger was a bit useful but it was more than worth it to look like (as much as he could) the other kids. he was enormously grateful his parents made that surgery available to him even tho they let him make the decision.
Was this cosmetic surgery just so he wouldn't be different? yes it was but obviously the right thing to do in this case.
And "the body's(human's) natural function" is to social and to be a part of the group, to be accepted, not to be stared at.
No I wouldn't. Yes, I do have two children. I also have things about me that make me "different" than other people. Things that I grew up with that I was made fun of over. My answer remains the same.
I'll go ahead and disagree about the meaning of "natural function" when it comes to how the body works.
No I wouldn't. Yes, I do have two children. I also have things about me that make me "different" than other people. Things that I grew up with that I was made fun of over. My answer remains the same.
I'll go ahead and disagree about the meaning of "natural function" when it comes to how the body works.
Curious answer. If you have been bullied over these same issues, and are obviously still affected by it, I am surprised that you would choose for your children to experience the same things.
I also note you continually refer to yourself making the decision for them, but nowhere do you mention what your children may want.
Curious answer. If you have been bullied over these same issues, and are obviously still affected by it, I am surprised that you would choose for your children to experience the same things.
I also note you continually refer to yourself making the decision for them, but nowhere do you mention what your children may want.
Some of us know that our core strengths come from places of profound pressure and stress. That whole turning coal into diamond philosophy I suppose. I also highly prize individuality and accepting people for who they are so I'm not keen on "fixing" people to fit in.
Since I'm the one posting on the message board I am speaking for me. If my children came to me and presented a solid, logical argument for something like this, we'd certainly discuss it. I really don't know what my answer would be.
Because I don't believe we should all look the same. I don't believe we should modify differences in looks because of societal pressures.
Her ears are not the same as cleft palate or club foot, each of which impedes the natural function of the body part it affects. I would not fix webbed toes or extra fingers unless it interfered with the body's natural function.
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If my children came to me and presented a solid, logical argument for something like this, we'd certainly discuss it. I really don't know what my answer would be.
