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to me, it is my obligation to my children to be there for them, why would I bring them into this world if I didnt' want to be part of theirs.
My thinking is if you don't show interest in them, eventually they will seek out someone who does, and they just may not have your children in their best interest. I am not willing to take that chance>
My children are thrilled that I choose to want to be with them happily. I had my turn as a child being cheered on by my parents , and now it is their turn.
a quote I ran into this week says it all, "aspire to inspire before you expire"
My children are thrilled that I choose to want to be with them happily. I had my turn as a child being cheered on by my parents , and now it is their turn.
It is certainly a LOT easier to be very involved parent when you 1) had a happy childhood yourself, therefore plenty of hapiness to share and 2)seen that role model growing up so you know exactly what to do.
It is not always the case. Of course, many people still overcome however difficult childhoods to make their children's as happy as can be... however, many still can't, not completely. Should they not have children?
In this case, I agree with those suspecting that a husband may simply be an introvert. And, unless you've been in one's shoes, it is extremaly difficult understand the lack of desire (or utter inability) to jam-pack weekend with tons of activities, run, run, ruc, see tons of people, etc. THAT can wipe him off worse then an entire work week!
I used to do things with my wife and kids all the time...she had crap planned like the OP described, but it was 5 times a week! Too much for me. Couldn't take it anymore. Eventually, my wife couldn't take it anymore, either. She would complain about how she was so stressed out and busy all the time. Then she realized that she was creating it for herself.
I think this is another case of different strokes for different folks. I do know women who are married to men as described in the OP, and are happy with the set-up, and I know others who are unhappy with it. I don't think many people change dramatically, so more than likely this guy was always like this. I think many people marry imagining the other will change, or at least hoping they will. As we all know, that's not a good plan.
My DH is very involved with the kids, but every family is unique. I don't know many people that would put up with me, and my DH can be a handful too, but it works for us, and that's all that matters. Oh, and we have happy kids.
My man never goes to family events with us either. All he wants to do is smoke down and play GTA! In four months I will give birth, exercise, get a job and move far away where he will never have to see me or the kids ever again! He has made it clear that he could care less if we are around!
My man never goes to family events with us either. All he wants to do is smoke down and play GTA! In four months I will give birth, exercise, get a job and move far away where he will never have to see me or the kids ever again! He has made it clear that he could care less if we are around!
Different issue than the OP.....from YEARS ago.....the thread is old. If the man you
had a child with couldn't care less...than you need to do something...it's not normal...it's not right,....but you accepting is your a choice.
You don't have to put up with it unless you want to.
There's no difference between men & womens actions, it could be that he's not happy and not comfortable with being seen in public with the wife and kids end up suffering because he may have also been cheating on his wife. And just doesn't want to do all the United family front
There's no difference between men & womens actions, it could be that he's not happy and not comfortable with being seen in public with the wife and kids end up suffering because he may have also been cheating on his wife. And just doesn't want to do all the United family front
Many a Saturday or Sunday I have taken my two toddlers out alone so their Dad (My Husband), could have a few hours to lay on the couch, watch soccer, mow the lawn, or do whatever. It's be best thing for our family.
I seem to "recharge" being with my kids, and he needs a few hours to "recharge" in solitude. When we return, he's happy, he's making pizza with them, he's running in the yard with them, he's a good dad.
If I don't arrange for a few hours of alone time, he can be Mr. Grumpy pants all day. Everyone recharges differently.
I would like to think that most men want to spend time with their family on the weekend, but am I wrong? I know kiddie birthday parties might not be most men's idea of a good time, but I'm talking about staying home for MOST family activities, while she takes the kids out and meets up with her sister and her kids (her husband is also not there!)
I want to spend time with my family on the weekend....at home. I have no desire to go out to various, stress-filled, locations and spend heaping amounts of $$$. I'm not saying I don't do such things, but on a nice sunny Saturday, I'd rather hang out with the kids in the yard playing, than loading up the car and heading out somewhere.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TimeMachine
Many a Saturday or Sunday I have taken my two toddlers out alone so their Dad (My Husband), could have a few hours to lay on the couch, watch soccer, mow the lawn, or do whatever. It's be best thing for our family.
I seem to "recharge" being with my kids, and he needs a few hours to "recharge" in solitude. When we return, he's happy, he's making pizza with them, he's running in the yard with them, he's a good dad.
If I don't arrange for a few hours of alone time, he can be Mr. Grumpy pants all day. Everyone recharges differently.
You just described me to a T. I need my solitude once in a while usually doing something around the house. My partner recognizes this and gives it to me and I appreciate it. On the off chance we don't get that opportunity, she also realizes I just like to be home.
But...it's about compromise too...so there are a few family trips we've planned together coming up.
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