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That's a pretty bold assumption. So people that like their siblings are now sexual predators?
noo, but if you are 29 and you dont wanna leave mama and papas basement, because you wont be able to see your 13 year old sister everyday....
That just do not sound right. Maybe that is just me though...
If the parents don't mind, the son doesn't mind and he helps do anything around the house that the parents ask, I don't see how that's a problem. If having a girlfriend is not a priority of his right now, I don't understand why there's an issue of having females spend the night? With a 13 year old little sister in the home, I wouldn't want my son dragging home women to spend the night either.
Clearly, he doesn't have a problem with these issues, or he'd be looking for his own place. Clearly, the parents don't have an issue, or they'd be trying to get him out of there. Just because it's "not the norm", it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with it. Perhaps if more people were not afraid to "live their lives outside the norm", in their way, there would be a lower divorce rate.
Good grief, what IS norm?...people having multiple kids out of wedlock? People hooking up because "it's normal", only to discover they're not the marrying kind...winding up single parents, raising their children alone or fighting for child custody and support? Some people are NOT the marrying kind. Some people don't want to deal with relationship dramas...for people like that, his lifestyle seems perfectly "normal".
Good grief, I've got a brother who has been married 5 times....they guy is NOT marrying material. I wouldn't wish him on any woman....another brother, on marriage number 3...again, NOT marriage material. We're counting the days until she leaves him....again, wouldn't wish him on anyone. I have a sister who has been married 8 times...count 'em....EIGHT! Marriage materal? I don't think so...and yet, she's always holding out for a GOOD man. What she doesn't seem to get, is that it's HER who is the dysfunctional personality in the mix. She's HAD many good guys..it's why they eventually divorced her crazy self. LOL Some people are NOT suitable for marriage, or any type of long-term-relationship! The smart ones stay single!
That's a good question - what is normal?
It's always been normal for certain people to never move out. I know men who moved out for some years, had difficulties like alcoholism and moved back with their mother and remained sober but never moved out again.
It can be normal to remain single, there have always been the permanent bachelors and single women and often they just stay living with their parents. It can be just that some single people also don't want to live with roommates or alone and prefer their parents' company.
This guy might not be very interested in marriage or in any relationship and so for him it's normal to stay living at home - and he is still only in his 20's.
I know a couple whose daughter is 28 and still living at home and dating a man who is doing the same - still livng with his parents. The daughter works and her boyfriend works so it's not as though they couldn't leave. I think in both their cases, they like not having to pay rent.
That would not be "normal". He sounds like nothing but an overgrown teenager, complaining but not being a man enough to leave home and make it on his own.
As sad as it is for parents to face the empty nest, it's what any normal parent really wants, our whole purpose as parents is to help our children develop into fully functional adults and be able to make it on their own.
However even in the past there have always been those adults who never left the nest, who never could become independent and on their own.
And I can't imagine too many independent women would want to spend time at this "boy's" parents' house having sex with him or having mama's boy come visit her in her apartment so they can get it on. All he's going to attract are other permanent teens who also live with their mamas.
29 is borderline though - it might still be normal but it's pushing the limits.
Agree. I'm thinking that maybe he would like to move out but thinks his mother and sister need him at home. That might explain what seems like some resentment. His mother has told him that he can't move out now. She would prefer that he be there to help out.
I think the weirdest part of the set-up is that a 29-year-old man wants to see his 13-year-old sister every day. I don't really get that.
I can't begin to explain that either, but it's what his step dad told us. He thinks his son doesn't want to move out because it would mean he wouldn't see his sister everyday. Sounded like baloney to us, but Dad and Mom ''think'' that might be the reason he doesn't move out. If it was my kid, I'd ask why he doesn't want to live on his own or with friends, rather than try to guess.
I guess at 29 the young man can make his own choices...but since he's decided to live at his mommys house....chances are he'll show up on the relationship forum wondering why he can't get a steady girlfriend.
Well, he can't be too darn miserable, or he'd move out on his own, wouldn't he? I hate to sound like Dr. Phil here....but there's a payoff for him as well, or he wouldn't be where he's at. Perhaps he's miserable and grumpy when you're around, because he knows you're judging him? LOL
I don't judge him! He never even talks to me. He grumps at his mother, not me, because she's wanting him to do this or that. Other than that, he stays in the basement in his room.
Of course you are right, there's a reason why he choosing this. I think it may be because he feels somewhat responsible for taking care of his mother, even if he doesn't want to, and doesn't like it. But I'm guessing, different days, different guesses. haha
Well, aparently not your friend. You said he wants to live there.
I'd be curious to know if he tells you how to live your life? And if he decides you have it all wrong are you going to change something you are perfectly happy with just so he thinks you are normal?
Friends should let friends live their own lives.
duh. I've never said anything to him about how or where he lives! He's not my friend, his mother and dad are my friends. I don't know if it's right or wrong, that's why I started the thread! It seems weird to me, he doesn't seem happy to be there, but maybe he's just not a happy person. Or something.
Actually, it was the dad's brother who brought up why the man still lived at home. I was just there and listened to their conversation. Uncle and aunt thought it was strange and wondered why the man still lived at home.
noo, but if you are 29 and you dont wanna leave mama and papas basement, because you wont be able to see your 13 year old sister everyday....
That just do not sound right. Maybe that is just me though...
It's not just you, aunts, uncles, grandparents have mentioned it. Only the parents think it's great that he so attached to his sister. But, heck, I don't even know if that's true. The dad was kinda making stuff up to explain it to his brother. The parents think the big brothers are thrilled with their sister, love her to death, want to see her everyday, but how many siblings really feel that way? Especially when the brothers still have to babysit her and help take care of her? (She doesn't like to stay home alone so brother has to be there with her if the parents go out.)
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With a 13 year old little sister in the home, I wouldn't want my son dragging home women to spend the night either. 
Some people are NOT the marrying kind. Some people don't want to deal with relationship dramas...for people like that, his lifestyle seems perfectly "normal". 
You said he wants to live there. 
