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Thank you. I have to say that he did most of it on his own. The only thing I really helped him with is organizing the paperwork.
You missed my point Momma_bear.
Anyone accepted to the service academies is, almost by definition, an outstanding young adult. Outstanding young adults are raised by parents who worked very hard to get it right. He's going to the USNA because someone helped him grow into the young man he is. (That would be you. ) Today he is someone who is focused on his future and is willing to serve his country. It's your accomplishment as well as his.
(And here you are giving advice to a young woman, older than he is, who remains unfocused and unhappy with the life she has chosen for herself. Hmmmmm.....)
Congrats to both of your sons, momma_bear and beachmel. Thank your sons for their service and I thank you for sharing your sons with our Country. I am prior service and currently work for the military and my husband is active duty. I am proud and grateful of those who serve this nation
These are the rules for adult children living in my home:
1) You either are in school full-time or you are employed.
2) If you are employed, you are using electricity, water, and eating my food, etc - therefore, you pay rent. ($200 a month was the standard).
3) You do dishes, you help with the yard and housecleaning, you do your own laundry.
4) If you want something special - a game, a cel phone, a certain food, whatever - you pay for it yourself. Can't? Do without.
5) You have your own key. You have your own lifestyle. You have your own rights to do and to come and go as you please. When those rights infringe on mine - you will be told. If it continues - you are out.
Our son tried to move in with his GF and refused to get a job; their attitude was "YOU have money, a house, we don't - YOU pay for our bills!" They were out in less than a month. I and his father weren't working two jobs apiece to support their lifestyle.
Our daughter moved in after she graduated from college. She got a job, kept up the household as a participating member of the family, and paid rent. She eventually moved in with her BFF from HS - they were both working. When we moved out and put the house up for sale, she rented it from us (at the house payment price) for over a year, according to a very strict rental agreement that we drew up together, and she replaced the floors, painted, etc - all for which she was reimbursed or had it taken off of her rent. At the house sale, she received $8000 for her efforts. (Her brother was angry because he had received nothing - even though he lived less than a mile away with a new GF, he refused to help her get the house ready for sale.) With this nest egg, she was able to put down payment on her own house - and she moved 2000 miles away and got a job making 6 figures. All because she was responsible, hardworking, and practical - and saved her money while paying her own way and planning her future.
Those who do not work do not eat nor live in our house. Those who think that we owe them a living are very much mistaken. Those who are responsible and adult are treated as same. Those who want to act like spoiled little children are treated as same.
Those are my "expectations for adult children living at home". Your mileage may vary.
This is the way I am also. There are no freebies in life. Many parents I know are ruining their kids by making everything too easy on them. And it's a running joke in their kids' circles. I don't believe in handing kids everything they want. Any of my kids as adults living with me pay the same- $200 a month. And it's more than fair.
Congrats to both of your sons, momma_bear and beachmel. Thank your sons for their service and I thank you for sharing your sons with our Country. I am prior service and currently work for the military and my husband is active duty. I am proud and grateful of those who serve this nation
Thank you for your service (and your husband). I am always impressed with the quality of the people that I see in and around Fort Lauderdale during Fleet Week. Our nation is very fortunate to have a group of individuals willing to serve our country when there are more lucrative and glamorous careers for them.
Congrats to both of your sons, momma_bear and beachmel. Thank your sons for their service and I thank you for sharing your sons with our Country. I am prior service and currently work for the military and my husband is active duty. I am proud and grateful of those who serve this nation
I echo Momma's sentiments NEOB... you're welcome and thank you for YOUR service! Yes, I too think it's an incredibly noble career choice, when there are so many who are desperate for "look at me" careers and those who will only work a job which pays 6-figures (because anything else is beneath them).
We also currently have a nephew in West Point and one in the Air Force Academy. My son started talking about joining the military several years ago and talking to a couple of his cousins about it as well. Lo and behold, they all chose to enlist and here we are! Honestly, I think what we needed was for ONE of our younger generation to step forward and make a positive chain....you know, someone to raise the bar. The competitiveness and common sense took over from there! Once my son made a concrete decision to join up, a couple of his cousins said, "I want to do something with MY life too!!" LOL
Last edited by beachmel; 01-03-2012 at 09:25 AM..
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That's not something that is accomplished in a vacuum.
