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Old 06-09-2011, 03:05 PM
 
4,044 posts, read 6,207,384 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceece View Post
I still don't like other peoples kids though.
More elaboration on this one would make for an interesting read.

This is, in fact, a socially unacceptable feeling that is much more common than most people want to admit. My sister strongly believes that, deep down, consciously or unconsciously, pretty much any parent resents other people's children; and the more populous and competitive society gets, the more nagging and common this "feeling" becomes.

However, this is a bit off topic as it has little to do with "not liking children" period. When you say "I like/love" mine but I dislike other people's children" - that's a different issue at work, that has little to do with love of children per se.
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Old 06-09-2011, 03:52 PM
 
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Some of these posts are amazing! I can't answer the OP's question due to the fact that I'm still young (19 almost 20), but these are some great stories to look at.
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Old 06-09-2011, 04:01 PM
 
Location: SF Bay Area
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jcmgsdder View Post
...I don't begrudge anybody that says "my dogs are my kids", but I cant help but to notice that many woman seem to regret this decision later in life. While I applaud their individuality, I think it is sad because many of these women are great people who would make wonderful mothers! Seems often those that shouldnt have kids do, and those who would be great parents chose not to or cant have kids!
I have a few very close female friends who chose not to have children. All are now over 50 and none regret their decision. A couple (not all) would have been very good moms. All of them are aunties and are wonderful with their niece/nephews, but don't want to keep them around full time .
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Old 06-10-2011, 08:08 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by twins4lynn View Post
I have a few very close female friends who chose not to have children. All are now over 50 and none regret their decision.
I still don't understand why so many mothers feel the need to question a childfree woman's choice as a way to validate their own lives. It's even funnier when the questioning is dressed in flattering clothes.
"Oh, but so and so is so great, she would have made such a great mother". Just because a woman is wonderful does not mean that she should supply yet another human on this Earth.

I say "thank you" every time I hear of a woman who - for one reason or another - failed to reproduce. Whether they are smart or IQ challenged, beautiful or ugly, great parent material or just plain terrible - I am grateful to any woman who simply chose not to reproduce, maybe because I see the act of reproducing as a much more selfish act than the act of choosing NOT to reproduce.

There are more than enough humans on this Earth as of now (and then some), it is getting really crowded and tense on this planet - and as a mother, I would never question a decision that benefits my family too, in the large scheme of things, if that decision is something that makes said women happy and content.

Even if they could have been fantastic mothers.
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Old 06-10-2011, 11:09 AM
 
Location: Denver, Colorado U.S.A.
14,174 posts, read 23,306,894 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceece View Post
I never liked kids and never wanted them. Then I married a guy who wanted kids and seemed like he would be a great dad and suddenly I wanted them too! Unfortunately he was NOT a great dad but, surprisingly, I turned out to be a great mom and it's the best thing I ever did in my life. It's strange how things happen sometimes. I still don't like other peoples kids though.
I'm in a similar situation, although I'm gay and my partner wanted kids (and is a great parent). We had twins through egg donor/surrogacy. I love my kids so much, but still don't care for other people's kids. It's funny how I look at other people's kids and still feel the same way from back when I didn't like any kids.
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Old 06-10-2011, 11:31 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by syracusa View Post
I still don't understand why so many mothers feel the need to question a childfree woman's choice as a way to validate their own lives. It's even funnier when the questioning is dressed in flattering clothes.
"Oh, but so and so is so great, she would have made such a great mother". Just because a woman is wonderful does not mean that she should supply yet another human on this Earth.
this is what I'm talking about in my threads. But then again, I just shouldn't let comments like that bother me, even if I were to come across people like this in the future.
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Old 06-10-2011, 11:38 AM
 
124 posts, read 211,518 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by syracusa View Post
I still don't understand why so many mothers feel the need to question a childfree woman's choice as a way to validate their own lives. It's even funnier when the questioning is dressed in flattering clothes.
"Oh, but so and so is so great, she would have made such a great mother". Just because a woman is wonderful does not mean that she should supply yet another human on this Earth.
I tend to make the opposite observation. I know more than enough women who I believe had no business becoming mothers because they were so focused on their careers, working over 80 hours a week. I had children and worked outside the home, but I wasn't set on becoming the CEO or making partner. I worked out of necessity, not necessarily desire.
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Old 06-10-2011, 12:36 PM
 
Location: SF Bay Area
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Quote:
Originally Posted by syracusa View Post
I still don't understand why so many mothers feel the need to question a childfree woman's choice as a way to validate their own lives.
I didn't have children until I was 41 (and strongly did not want children when I was younger and assumed I would remain childfree). When asked as to why I was childfree, I never felt anyone wanted to validate their choice, but rather were simply curious about mine.
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Old 06-10-2011, 05:18 PM
 
2,707 posts, read 5,376,791 times
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When I was a teenager and a young adult, I always imagined that I'd one day be a mother. That's how I envisioned my adult self. However, it wasn't really in the cards for me. Now I'm 40 and I can honestly say that I have no regrets.

I like kids, but I'm glad I don't have them. I'm glad I'm not a mother. And to be perfectly honest, I think it's for the best. I'm a good person -- and I'm a great dog-mom! -- but I don't know that I'd be a good mother to human children...ESPECIALLY if I'd had the kids 5-10 years ago. (So much of effective parenthood, I think, is LIVING the good example, because kids watch and absorb and mimic your behaviors. I think I was too messed up a decade ago to have been a good example to any kids I might have had.)

There may come a time in my future when I feel regret about not having children, but right now, that's not the case at all.
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Old 06-11-2011, 07:17 AM
 
Location: In a house
13,258 posts, read 36,475,157 times
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I posted here once already but here's a different bit of insight:

When I see kids behaving well, playing, being joyful, I sigh with content and think, "This is what makes children so wonderful, I'm so glad the world gets to experience them."

When I see kids misbehaving, when I see harried parents who are juggling a newborn with an oversized diaperbag in one arm, a toddler, grocery bags, a screaming 6-year-old demanding this that or the other thing, on a hot muggy day and mom's just trying to get them all home and dressed so they can enjoy the beach for an hour before suppertime..I sigh with content and think "this is why I didn't have any."

Summary: Kids, as a whole, are marvelous wonderful little alien beings sent by the Flying Spagetti Monster to remind us adults of our humanity. They do a terrific job of it. Especially newborns. There's nothing more sacred and holy in the world, than a crying newborn baby. But I'm totally not interested in taking permanent or long-term personal responsibility for any of them.
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