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...I don't begrudge anybody that says "my dogs are my kids", but I cant help but to notice that many woman seem to regret this decision later in life. While I applaud their individuality, I think it is sad because many of these women are great people who would make wonderful mothers! Seems often those that shouldnt have kids do, and those who would be great parents chose not to or cant have kids!
Always knew I could not relate to children.I Like my life.Feel sorry for those women who seem obsessed with having a kid and yet refuse to adopt--this is just something I don't understand.Seems to be about having a mirror-image of themselves instead of a true motherhood so called"instinct".Just ignoring hundreds of children who need homes and pouting because they can't go through pregnancy--wow.Selfish and spoiled and maybe mentally unbalanced,in my humble opinion.Can't go through weight gain and throwing up and other unpleasantries and believe they are less of a woman,or what???What is it? I say get over yourself and adopt a kid that is begging for a home. Thank you for letting me rant.
Last edited by bev osborn; 08-01-2013 at 12:57 PM..
Reason: punctuation
I doubt that many who didn't want kids regret not having them. Just like I doubt that many who truly wanted kids regret having them. I don't doubt that many parents believe the child free regret their choices just like many of the child free believe parents regret theirs. Many people seem to be unable to grasp that others choices are not full of regret when they don't mirror their own.
This is a very good question, really makes me think, almost confuses me a bit. I was pretty comfortable knowing that I would never have children, I have seven nieces and nephews, and I felt like that was fulfilling enough for me. But now that I’ve turned 40 I’m not so comfortable with coming to terms that I may never have children, I don’t want to regret it later or wish I have experienced motherhood like so many women do
Do you think it’s OK for a woman not to want children is it a unnatural?
I just had another thought, there was several reasons why I didn’t want to have children, and one of the reasons is because I’m actually quite selfish not in a really bad way but I really like my alone time quietness, and I always feared that I wouldn’t have the right amount of patience to be a mother. I couldn’t imagine coming home from a long shift having to cook dinner do homework iron clothes etc. but then many parents have told me that once you become a parent you just find the patience and motivation. It just comes naturally. Do you believe that’s true?
...I don't begrudge anybody that says "my dogs are my kids", but I cant help but to notice that many woman seem to regret this decision later in life. While I applaud their individuality, I think it is sad because many of these women are great people who would make wonderful mothers! Seems often those that shouldnt have kids do, and those who would be great parents chose not to or cant have kids!
None of the child-free women I know regret their preference. In fact some, after watching what one or more of their friends went through with kids, are quite sure they made the right decision. A few had thyroid disease, which, unbeknownst to them earlier in life, tends to cause pregnancies to fail. One of those women nearly died as a result of an ectopic pregnancy, but managed to get to a hospital in time.
Some women don't have the hormonal drive to have kids, even in their 30's, when typically women become fixated on reproducing, if they haven't already done so. Others have other priorities in life, or may come from an abusive family background with poor parental role models, so they wisely opt out.
It's great that society is much more accepting now of diversity in this area of life.
I just had another thought, there was several reasons why I didn’t want to have children, and one of the reasons is because I’m actually quite selfish not in a really bad way but I really like my alone time quietness, and I always feared that I wouldn’t have the right amount of patience to be a mother. I couldn’t imagine coming home from a long shift having to cook dinner do homework iron clothes etc. but then many parents have told me that once you become a parent you just find the patience and motivation. It just comes naturally. Do you believe that’s true?
This is a great question. In part, it really depends on the individual psychology of the person. Some simply weren't cut out to be parents, so patience isn't going to manifest out of nowhere. Some are not fully mature adults themselves, having major unresolved issues from their own childhoods.
You might get better answers on a childfree board.
This is a parenting board so people here have chosen to have kids.
Ah, but some of us CFs are open to joining in on this question.
I'm 66, CF by choice, never a moment regret (tubal ligation at age 30). Lost one good man over the issue. I know *a lot* of people who are CF by choice and are older, often much older, than repro age and no regrets from anyone. People have lost marriages over the issue but were clear that they didn't want to be parents.
The CF marriages I know are very good and solid, sometimes second marriages, sometimes not, and are very companionable and well past repro age.
I don’t know why it’s so hard still in our society for so many people to accept that some folks just don’t want kids. It seems like when a couple gets married the next thing that is just supposed to happen is you have kids. And if you don’t have any it must mean you can’t conceive or you’re just weird for not wanting them.
I’m 41 and I always wanted kids and I have two. I have a few friends who don’t want kids and it’s not a big deal to me, I get it but my mom is one of those people who think people have to have kids and if they don’t they’ll regret it. Just because your bodies can produce children doesn’t mean you have to if you don’t want to. The human body can do many things. Kids are great but I can also certainly see how life can be fulfilling without them.
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No regrets
