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Old 05-13-2011, 04:55 PM
 
7,492 posts, read 11,829,224 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by syracusa View Post
Not a clean freak, no. In fact, my house is usually messy and needs vacuuming almost at all times simply because I cannot stay on top of it.
But I do prefer some order, neat-ness and no chaos.
Is it possible that, if this is true, maybe you just notice his messes more than you notice yours? That's probably human nature, but unless you're going to try yourself to stay neat and organized also you'll have a harder time getting your son to do it. Good luck though.
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Old 05-13-2011, 05:12 PM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
16,072 posts, read 21,148,356 times
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I hated putting crayons back in the box when I was a kid! So frustrating and a waste of my time, I didn't care if they were all lined up neatly in the box.
Throw away the crayon box and let him throw his crayons markers and colored pencils in a cigar box or one of those plastic boxes kids use for school. Box.jpg
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Old 05-13-2011, 05:54 PM
 
1,677 posts, read 2,487,693 times
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I also think your son sounds pretty normal. He is concentrating on drawing his picture, and at that moment the crayons falling on the floor is meaningless. Kids are naturally messy. My daughter will pull every one of her books off the bookshelves (probably over 70 books) then sit there in the middle of the big mess "reading." It drives me bananas, but the way I see it, books can be put away, and I do make her put them all back, although I have to help her. The other little quirks in his personality might just make him not your average kid, but I don't think there's anything wrong about that. Unless it's keeping him from learning or interacting with others, I really wouldn't stress too much about it.
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Old 05-13-2011, 06:06 PM
 
Location: In a house
13,250 posts, read 42,783,686 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by syracusa View Post
Oh, I always do that - make him clean up the mess he's made.

However, he generally gets frustrated that he has to deal with a big mess after that, and starts whining about cleaning up. Don't get me wrong, he still does it THROUGH the whining, as I NEVER give in to his whining and I expect him to complete the clean up task come H or H water; but the very fact that he whines about it every time gets on my nerves.

I am now trying to explain to him that if he remembers to put something he's used or played with away as soon as he's done with it, there won't be any mess to clean after that.
It is onlyvery recently that he seems to have warmed up to this idea and has started to find it attractive, intellectually speaking.

Yet, it is not at all apparent that his working attention can follow the intellectual desire to have things this way.
OK wait..so first, you post that he drops crayons on the floor after using them. Then, you say no, he isn't actually literally dropping them on the floor, he's putting them on the desk, but the desk is messy, and he doesn't really pay much attention to the potential trajectory and gravitational ratio of desk:floor, and they roll off and fall to the floor.

Then, you worry he has ADHD. Then you worry he has Aspergers. Then you say "the very fact that he whines about it every time gets on my nerves."

Now you're trying to explain physics to him (action = reaction)...

Dood. He's not even six years old yet. Kids whine. It's what they do. Kids do NOT understand future consequences of current behaviors. Their brains haven't developed enough yet. You can explain it til you're blue in the face, and have him memorize the speech, and he STILL won't actually understand it til he's much MUCH older. Until then, he'll be Pavlov's dog. You ring a bell, he reacts, he gets a cookie. You ring a bell, he doesn't react, he doesn't get a cookie. You don't ring a bell, he reacts, he doesn't get a cookie. He won't understand it. He just won't. He'll do it, but he won't get it.

If you expect a 6 year old to really and truly comprehend the physics of crayons rolling off desks, and how messes don't disappear by themselves and how whining is irritating, you need to seek help elsewhere. You don't need to be a parent to understand that 6 year old kids DO stuff like that, it's normal, expected, and that adults have to just put up with it til they grow into their intelligence.

Edited to add: tell the "teacher" who "suggested" that your kid has traits common to Aspergers, to get stuffed.
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Old 05-13-2011, 06:11 PM
 
Location: In a house
13,250 posts, read 42,783,686 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by syracusa View Post
Not a clean freak, no. In fact, my house is usually messy and needs vacuuming almost at all times simply because I cannot stay on top of it.
But I do prefer some order, neat-ness and no chaos.

My kids spend a lot of time playing indoors (don't ask me about my many failed efforts to make them go in the yard) - so they end up making a mess at all times.

I really do hope that he will improve with age, as you say. Nobody hopes it harder than we do.
Your child's most significant influence is you. You have demonstrated to him the importance of a messy home. Messy home = normal home, in his mind. You have taught him this. Don't complain when he emulates you. It's what you are teaching him. If you want him to become more tidy, then be more tidy yourself. Show him what tidy MEANS, by demonstrating it in your home.

He's 6. And as you say, he spends a lot of time playing indoors. His home environment is what he's stuck with, whether he likes it or not. Fortunately, he doesn't know any better. Unfortunately for you, he doesn't know any better. He knows only what you teach him, only what he observes from you. Clean your house. THEN criticize his mess.
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Old 05-13-2011, 08:04 PM
 
4,040 posts, read 7,442,467 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post

What am I missing here?
Nothing. I just told you guys what where some of the traits a psych we saw picked on and used to dx him with a "mild form of Aspergers".

I didn't say it. She did.
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Old 05-13-2011, 08:18 PM
 
Location: Boerne area
705 posts, read 1,759,530 times
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BTW, the restaurant BJs has triangle shaped crayons. Brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 05-13-2011, 08:58 PM
 
43,011 posts, read 108,049,575 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 88txaggie View Post
BTW, the restaurant BJs has triangle shaped crayons. Brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's a brilliant solution! I just googled "triangle shaped crayons" and discovered that Crayola manufactures them -- Crayola&reg Products
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Old 05-13-2011, 09:29 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,003 posts, read 11,724,506 times
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Syracusa, for what it's worth, I think it's great that you're so attuned to your son. It may be nothing, but it might be something...the point is, you're watching and watching carefully. You know, even though doctors don't diagnose children until they're a few years older than your son, that does NOT mean that early warning signs are not there. Unfortunately, so much of what your son is doing, is perfectly normal behavior for his age. Obviously, you want to keep a journal. I do hope you're doing so. Honestly, so many of these autistic spectrum disorders are so "new" to the medical community that they don't have concrete, early warning signs. Keeping a journal may not only be beneficial to YOU, but to others as well.

Try not to stress too much though. I'd hate to see you miss out on some of the most wonderful times of your sons life, by stressing over things that "may" just be perfectly normal, age appropriate behaviors.
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Old 05-13-2011, 10:29 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
90,297 posts, read 120,759,995 times
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I apologize if someone has already suggested this: take him to the doctor for a "behavior consult". Your ped can certainly tell you if his behavior is normal (or not). To me, it sounds normal.
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