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We were unaware of what was going on until the landlord showed up several weeks later asking us why we weren't paying the rent. I was horrified. I thought it had been taken care of the whole time. Thankfully I save every single receipt for all the money orders we'd gotten and we were able to prove it was not our fault. Of course his mom said it was all a huge mistake. Yeah, he was paying our half of the rent claiming it was HIS half of the rent and making us look bad.
His mom is too naive...She really is, everyone sees that but we don't say anything to her because when people are in love they don't see things the way they are. My father was used by a lot of women back in the day and whenever I tried to open his eyes, he'd get more and more distant.
She didn't know her boyfriend was engaged to someone else. I am the one who found out and she told him "it was over!" but 6 months later he's still there.
She will learn on her own....and we have a feeling it's not going to be pretty.
Yeah....and likely, she'll say, "I don't recall you EVER saying anything about it!" It appears as if she's quite proficient at playing the victim card. I never really believe anyone is as stupid as they "play" at being, once they hit a certain age...delusional, yes...stupid...no. Like I said, I've got a brother that sounds just like him...always playing both sides of the fence and using anyone and everyone he can. You know what's really funny though? He never actually has 2 nickels to rub together, so he's not getting anywhere with his scheming and con games. LOL
Incidentally, it isn't just "sub-letters" who pull the crap that guy pulled on you. My friend was renting a house from a guy. One day, she got an eviction notice pinned to her door...from the BANK! Turns out, she was renting the house for what his payments were and he wasn't making payments on the house. Her, her two girls and her two dogs had to find a place to live in a hurry, in between working and going to nursing school full-time! Not an easy task, especially when you're looking for a place that will allow two large dogs!
His girlfriend is a nice lady and has given me a shoulder to cry on when I needed....when both of us needed.
I am just going to let it go. I broke down last night and I could barely sleep. I woke up feeling like I was hit by a truck. I am horrible I take everything personally and I let it get to me. I need to learn how to deal with things.
How old are you? (You can just answer to yourself) You will learn, hopefully, how to deal with things.
Maybe learn also to give yourself a break? Because right now you are three weeks from delivery and full of Pregnant Lady Hormones.
You can't change your MIL. You can't change the sorry family history you have. You've had a lot on your plate. The more I read all of this the more I shook my head. Concentrate now on staying well and dealing with what you can change. (Which right now probably isn't a lot.)
I hope to heaven your BF is also a shoulder you can cry on. Maybe being able to post all of this has worked as a small relief valve for you. I hope so.
What's the old saying, "Tough times never last but tough people do." Corny I know, but pretty true.
How old are you? (You can just answer to yourself) You will learn, hopefully, how to deal with things.
Maybe learn also to give yourself a break? Because right now you are three weeks from delivery and full of Pregnant Lady Hormones.
You can't change your MIL. You can't change the sorry family history you have. You've had a lot on your plate. The more I read all of this the more I shook my head. Concentrate now on staying well and dealing with what you can change. (Which right now probably isn't a lot.)
I hope to heaven your BF is also a shoulder you can cry on. Maybe being able to post all of this has worked as a small relief valve for you. I hope so.
What's the old saying, "Tough times never last but tough people do." Corny I know, but pretty true.
LOL...not corny!!....and definitely true DDI! At least she and boyfriend have some experience at being "self-sufficient", not something that MIL has going for her.
What kind of person is that? She's not obligated to help and she's chosen not to help. Why does that make her a certain kind of person? People have every right to choose not to do things that are optional and they shouldn't be judeged for that.
A person who cares for material things and bragging about them in front of others.
Who is treating anyone in a poor way besides the OP who is bad mouthing her boyfriend's mother? His mother chose to not help in a situation where helping is optional...why is that an issue at all?
With all due respect, bragging about a purchase is not an ethics issue or a character issue. There is nothing "wrong" with bragging. It's just seen as annoying by those bothered by the fact they can't afford what the person is bragging about. Empathy, I'll give you. Obviously, she didn't consider that her son's girlfriend might be jealous. She was too excited about her purchases to think about that but there's nothing really wrong with doing that. It's not a crime or even, remotely, unethical and she hasn't done any harm really. She just failed to consider that here might be some jealousy.
I fail to see where it will hurt the baby to be around this woman. Will telling the baby about a new car somehow damage the child?
LOL Believe me, it has nothing to do with what a person can afford or not in terms of bragging annoyances. Bragging is rude, unattractive and desperate.
The baby will be better off having people in it's life that don't value material goods so much that they are blind to other people's lives and issues.
This made me laugh. It's soooooooooo true. My sister recently sent me a text picture of her fourth child on his 2nd birthday. I swear I've only seen him 3 times in his life and they live only an hour way! I even commented to my husband about that when I showed him the picture.
Guess what I did for her when he was born? I went to the hospital and sterilized her hospital room, not because I'm a germ freak but because she is a germ freak. Guess what I did for her when her other three were born? Nada. Zilch. Guess what my siblings did for me when my children were born? Nada. Zilch. We don't DO baby showers in my family. We just don't.
(And remember, I was a single mother who lost my job while pregnant with my second child and I didn't need anyone to give me anything.)
Every few years I send her my hand-me-downs. I'm cleaning out my attic this week. I'll take a truck load of clothes and toys to her house. Guess what? She won't even be home. I'll be leaving it all on her patio, like I usually do when I drop things off. Do I care? No. Not at all.
Don't get me wrong. We love each other. We're still close. But not in the way that other people consider close. We're simply independent. We formed our own healthy families when we married and had our children. Our priorities are in the right place IMO. We keep in touch via phone, text and email----usually sharing funny stories with each other almost daily, but also offering advice and emotional support when needed. We do the usual weddigs, funerals and holidays, and a couple sibling lunches per year because we have busy lives with our own families.
If I had a sister who was a germ freak, I'd think you were one of us.
My family is very independent. We pride ourselves on that. Not that we wouldn't be there in a heartbeat if someone needed us, we just life our own lives. That's the way adults function in my family.
We're funny. We're like so many magnets scattered to the wind until someone needs something then we spring back together until the crisis is over then we separate again. I love my family. They give me my space but I know any one of them would be there for me in a heart beat. When my daughter was in the hospital, I needed someone to take my older daughter for a couple of days. She was at my brothers and I thought he had vacation plans for the holiday (my daughter got hurt just before a holiday weekend). I called my brother and asked "Do you have plans for the holiday". His reply was a matter of fact "I doesn't matter".
That was nice of you to sterilize her hospital room.
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