Why do new parents feel the need to move to the suburbs when they have children? (legal, college)
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Many families don't move to the suburbs. I was raised in the city, and am raising my son in a city. Some cities are tougher than others, though, at least for most people; the big cities usually have very high housing costs, and many urban public school districts have big problems, and if you want to live in an area with decent public schools you either have to pay a lot more to live in a good school zone, or else risk the lottery process for the magnets. Here in Minneapolis much of the city is fairly "suburban" in nature, at least meaning lots of single family homes and duplexes with backyards, not to mention good public schools. As a result, around here there's not nearly the same talk about moving to the suburbs that I heard when living in San Francisco, where real estate cost a premium and the school process far more intimidating. Next we're moving to New York, but we will be paying a fortune for a very small space in the city. There are certainly things that kids can do in (some) suburbs that they can't do in (some) cities or city neighborhoods, and vice-versa. We happen to prefer urban living. Others prefer suburban living. Or prefer urban living, but can't afford it. Or prefer suburban living but can't afford that. In any case, there are plenty of parents who do like urban living; in Manhattan, for example, the number of children has increased by more than 30% in the past decade, many of them from families that have made the choice (i.e. have the financial freedom to choose where they want to live) to raise their kids in the city.
As far as our family goes, I prefer to get around primarily by walking, with public transportation as back-up. We prefer not to own a car. We prefer to live in a densely populated environment with a diverse blend of people. I don't care about traffic, and I don't mind living in an apartment, and I don't mind a certain level of city noise or grit. We've spent the past year living in a more traditionally older "suburban" style neighborhood (albeit still within city limits) and while it has been great in some ways (tons of kids running around in the front yards, very low crime, etc.), it's definitely not for me. I can understand why some like it, but for us, we'll enjoy that on visits to friends and family and are looking forward to returning to a more stimulating urban environment.
We prefer to live in a densely populated environment with a diverse blend of people. ... I can understand why some like it, but for us, we'll enjoy that on visits to friends and family and are looking forward to returning to a more stimulating urban environment.
First, I LOVE the cities. I lived in Boston for 7 years; 4 for college, 3 "just cuz." Loved it. The non-downtown areas I think would be awesome for families; Brookline, Brighton, lately even Somerville, Alewife, etc. I wouldn't bring kids up in Back Bay, North End, or the like.
My question though, is how do you visit friends and family, if you don't own a car?
First, I LOVE the cities. I lived in Boston for 7 years; 4 for college, 3 "just cuz." Loved it. The non-downtown areas I think would be awesome for families; Brookline, Brighton, lately even Somerville, Alewife, etc. I wouldn't bring kids up in Back Bay, North End, or the like.
My question though, is how do you visit friends and family, if you don't own a car?
Me too. I have loved living in Boston and being in the city. I just cannot imagine trying to raise a family here. I know lots of people do it, I just don't think Boston is a very family friendly city.
I'm struggling with the same question. I think I've found a compromise in a neighborhood that is in the city, but without being downtown - which I would love, but there's something to be said for having a (small) backyard so your child can go outside and run around without having to actually be taken to the park for supervised play. Plus we love to plant things. And splash in the kiddie pool and sprinkler when it's 90 degrees out.
I guess some cities are more kid friendly than others. We recently relocated to Philly, and there are an abundance of parks and kid friendly museums, zoos, festivals, all sorts of things - that we actually go into the city to do.
If it wasn't for the question of outdoor space, which we need for our child plus dog and 3 cats, I would live in Center City in a heartbeat. Oh, then there's the other thing - I could never live above another person while I have a young child. I'd never do that to someone. I can't imagine how annoying it would be to have a little kid running around on your ceiling at all hours.
First, I LOVE the cities. I lived in Boston for 7 years; 4 for college, 3 "just cuz." Loved it. The non-downtown areas I think would be awesome for families; Brookline, Brighton, lately even Somerville, Alewife, etc. I wouldn't bring kids up in Back Bay, North End, or the like.
My question though, is how do you visit friends and family, if you don't own a car?
For those in town, we take the bus, train, or walk. It would admittedly be more difficult if they all lived out in the outer 'burbs without transit access.
For those in town, we take the bus, train, or walk. It would admittedly be more difficult if they all lived out in the outer 'burbs without transit access.
Ah, you're fortunate that your family is all in easy transit distance. Mine is spread out; my sister lives 2 towns away and there's no bus that goes anywhere near her house. She's my closest immediate relative. The others are either further away within the state, or out of state.
I'd have to fly to visit many, and I can't imagine not being -able- to drive to the airport due to lack of vehicle. Sometimes I don't drive, but I still have to drive to the limo company (they do shuttles). And if I want to visit New York, or Boston, just for fun, I have to drive. Whether it's driving to the cities themselves, or driving to the train station or the bus station - I still have to drive.
Plus I wouldn't trust some zit-faced delivery kid to pick out the bananas for my husband's lunches, nor would I pay three times the price for deli meats cut in a downtown market. I've seen those prices in NYC...I could afford a car just on the savings alone of living in the burbs
My closest city is Chicago. No way we could afford a single family home in a nice neighborhood there. Even if we could afford it, the yard would be the size of a postage stamp. We would most likely have to live in a condo with no yard, no thanks. And there is no way in he!! I would send my kids to Chicago public schools, which means shelling out the cash for private school. And don't even get me started on how much it costs just to have a designated place to park your car in the city. I lived in the city when I was young and single and it was great. Now that I have kids, the suburbs are the place for me.
In the Chicago area, you can get the benefits of suburban living and city amenities. Evanston and Oak Park come to mind. Evanston has good schools (there are changes going on, but I don't think they are going to change the academics there). When I lived in Evanston, I could walk to the neighborhood library, one area of shopping, a small grocery store, parks, etc. I could hop on the *el* and be in the loop in 20 to 30 minutes. Amenities included free concerts and movies at Northwestern (movies were not first run, but I like old movies). Watching the fireworks from Campus or going to the Wilmette fireworks were also fun. As a walker, I could walk even further to downtown Evanston, to the Bahai in Wilmette, etc.
I am sure there are other burbs with walkable downtowns and with amenities that work for people. I understand Naperville has this.
In the Chicago area, you can get the benefits of suburban living and city amenities. Evanston and Oak Park come to mind. Evanston has good schools (there are changes going on, but I don't think they are going to change the academics there). When I lived in Evanston, I could walk to the neighborhood library, one area of shopping, a small grocery store, parks, etc. I could hop on the *el* and be in the loop in 20 to 30 minutes. Amenities included free concerts and movies at Northwestern (movies were not first run, but I like old movies). Watching the fireworks from Campus or going to the Wilmette fireworks were also fun. As a walker, I could walk even further to downtown Evanston, to the Bahai in Wilmette, etc.
I am sure there are other burbs with walkable downtowns and with amenities that work for people. I understand Naperville has this.
Evanston and Oak Park are nice towns, but again, they aren't cheap. I love Naperville and don't live too far from it (Plainfield area). Obviously Plainfield isn't very walkable and is about as suburban as it gets, but we chose it because it was important to DH and I for me to stay home while the kids are little and we wanted to live some place where we could afford a house on DH's salary alone. (And we bought before the housing crash while prices were sky high.) I love going to downtown Naperville though, its a great place.
I've actually debated the pros and cons of this, since I plan on moving soon, and I guess I'm more of a city person. Generally speaking, I find suburbs boring. The houses tend to look the same, with the same little spindly trees, and the people blend in. I do love the idea of a yard, a nice school, and a safe neighborhood, but I just can't see myself in a suburb. Just not me. I like the idea of a city where everything you need is no more than a couple blocks away, where there's people to see and things to do. As long as I could find a reasonably safe place with decent schools, give me a city any day.
Your post made this song start playing in my head...
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