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Old 05-04-2015, 11:21 PM
 
102 posts, read 243,982 times
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I am 24 years old (female) and I don't feel like I would ever want to have kids. I just have never really liked kids. When I think of my future I think of all of the things I want to do in life and places I want to go, but the thought of having a baby doesn't excite me. My boyfriend of 9 years wants to have at least one kid but I don't want to have a kid just because he wants one. I want to go to medical school and by the time I'm done with that I'll probably be 30. I don't know what to do.
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Old 05-04-2015, 11:28 PM
 
Location: Ft. Myers
19,719 posts, read 16,727,250 times
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I can relate. When I was your age the furthest thing from my mind was being a Parent. My wife had a good job and so did I and we enjoyed spending money on things we loved doing. Then, one day, she gave me the news she was pregnant.

I was a horrible Husband during that time, very non supportive and generally not interested in the pregnancy at all. I am very ashamed that I let her go through most of it without my involvement. I don't know where my head was, but I blame a lot of it on immaturity.

But the day the Dr walked out of the delivery room with my twin Sons, one under each arm, and said "Meet your new Son's, Dad !" my entire life changed for the better. They became so important to me, and I suddenly had purpose and a goal in my life..........I wanted to be the best Dad I could, and they became my best friends. They are now 44 and we still see each other or talk on the phone every day, and I can not even begin to imagine how empty and lonely my life would have been if they were not born.

So, is this for everyone ? No, but I just thought I would put out my story to let you see that sometimes we really don't know what we want until it happens. Life has a funny way of guiding us where it wants us to be.

Don
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Old 05-05-2015, 08:21 AM
 
17,183 posts, read 22,791,007 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Freealex View Post
I am 24 years old (female) and I don't feel like I would ever want to have kids. I just have never really liked kids. When I think of my future I think of all of the things I want to do in life and places I want to go, but the thought of having a baby doesn't excite me. My boyfriend of 9 years wants to have at least one kid but I don't want to have a kid just because he wants one. I want to go to medical school and by the time I'm done with that I'll probably be 30. I don't know what to do.
If you don't want kids, don't have them. If your bf is pressuring you, then tell him what you think. My dd actually divorced her 1st husband when he started thinking it was *time* to have kids even though he was in grad school and she was supporting them. Of course, there were other factors, but she had told him when she got married that she did not want kids at all.

That can change though after you are older and out of med school. My dd now has a child with her new husband and it was her decision with input from him.
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Old 05-05-2015, 08:38 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,901 posts, read 42,579,257 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Freealex View Post
I am 24 years old (female) and I don't feel like I would ever want to have kids. I just have never really liked kids. When I think of my future I think of all of the things I want to do in life and places I want to go, but the thought of having a baby doesn't excite me. My boyfriend of 9 years wants to have at least one kid but I don't want to have a kid just because he wants one. I want to go to medical school and by the time I'm done with that I'll probably be 30. I don't know what to do.
What to do? Talk to your doctor about your contraceptive options and don't get pregnant. Go to medical school and do the things you planned. You don't need to "do" anything else.
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Old 05-05-2015, 08:42 AM
 
5,413 posts, read 6,671,817 times
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Then don't have a kid...just make sure ypir boyfriend knows this and understand if he chooses to move on with someone that does want a child.

Neither my husband nor I ever wanted kids...then when I was 28 we decided to gave one...lol...we still are trying to figure out how that happened. But neither of us felt we had to ever justify out child free stance before that though.
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Old 05-05-2015, 08:54 AM
 
Location: southwestern PA
22,326 posts, read 47,272,432 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Freealex View Post
I am 24 years old (female) and I don't feel like I would ever want to have kids. I just have never really liked kids. When I think of my future I think of all of the things I want to do in life and places I want to go, but the thought of having a baby doesn't excite me. My boyfriend of 9 years wants to have at least one kid but I don't want to have a kid just because he wants one. I want to go to medical school and by the time I'm done with that I'll probably be 30. I don't know what to do.
IF you are 24 and still in undergrad, you will not be a doctor until your mid-30s.
If you don't want a child, don't have one. Especially if you are contemplating med school.
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Old 05-05-2015, 10:16 AM
 
Location: NYC
16,061 posts, read 26,662,273 times
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Don't agree to have kids because that is what your boyfriend wants. It isn't fair to anyone. If that is a deal breaker for you, it's time to break up. You may change your mind later (I did), or you may not (my best friend didn't!).
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Old 05-05-2015, 10:27 AM
 
16,715 posts, read 19,324,117 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Freealex View Post
I am 24 years old (female) and I don't feel like I would ever want to have kids. I just have never really liked kids. When I think of my future I think of all of the things I want to do in life and places I want to go, but the thought of having a baby doesn't excite me. My boyfriend of 9 years wants to have at least one kid but I don't want to have a kid just because he wants one. I want to go to medical school and by the time I'm done with that I'll probably be 30. I don't know what to do.
Congratulations. Don't have kids if you don't want them.
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Old 05-05-2015, 10:33 AM
bg7
 
7,694 posts, read 10,511,298 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Freealex View Post
I am 24 years old (female) and I don't feel like I would ever want to have kids. I just have never really liked kids. When I think of my future I think of all of the things I want to do in life and places I want to go, but the thought of having a baby doesn't excite me. My boyfriend of 9 years wants to have at least one kid but I don't want to have a kid just because he wants one. I want to go to medical school and by the time I'm done with that I'll probably be 30. I don't know what to do.
That's ok. But you should probably separate from your boyfriend sooner rather than later. There's plenty of guys who don't want kids out there.
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Old 05-05-2015, 10:45 AM
 
Location: Chicago
3,339 posts, read 5,963,022 times
Reputation: 4241
Luckily, there's nothing you have to do in this situation except for be upfront with your bf. Kids tend to be a deal-breaker and it may mean the end of your relationship, but it doesn't mean you have to have kids.

FWIW, I felt exactly like you when I was 24. I just didn't see where having a kid would fit in with all my fabulous plans. But, as time went on my feelings changed. I'm 33 now and expecting my first child. Had you asked me about kids at 24 I would have said h*ll no! You may change your mind, but I wouldn't expect your current bf to wait around, because you might not.
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