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Old 05-25-2011, 12:59 PM
 
9 posts, read 11,624 times
Reputation: 28

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Please help me. I have no idea what to do. The father of my son and i were together for 5 years. My son is now 3. We broke up about a year ago. Him and i just see things too differently. I have never been able to get him to understand my point of view on any situation.
Anyways, he is starting to see other girls now, nobody serious. I recently found out that he had a girl stay the night with him while he had his son. (They share a room). Him and i got into a rather bad blow up about it. I think it is highly inappropriate to have someone that you are seeing around your children until the relationship has become serious. He does not believe it to be an issue and i do not know how to get him to understand that it is not good for our son. Advice anyone, please??!!
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Old 05-25-2011, 01:00 PM
 
Location: NW Montana
6,258 posts, read 12,575,704 times
Reputation: 3422
Why do you think this person would choose to be reasonable now?
It is up to you to protect your child. Get to it.
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Old 05-25-2011, 01:01 PM
 
Location: Wherever life takes me.
5,944 posts, read 6,370,897 times
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It doesn't sound like he wants to seriously date.
He just wants to hook up and doesn't want it to be serious.
If you don't like it petition for sole custody.
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Old 05-25-2011, 01:06 PM
 
Location: colorado
2,788 posts, read 4,230,542 times
Reputation: 3312
Quote:
Originally Posted by needadvicepleaseplease View Post
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
Please help me. I have no idea what to do. The father of my son and i were together for 5 years. My son is now 3. We broke up about a year ago. Him and i just see things too differently. I have never been able to get him to understand my point of view on any situation.
Anyways, he is starting to see other girls now, nobody serious. I recently found out that he had a girl stay the night with him while he had his son. (They share a room). Him and i got into a rather bad blow up about it. I think it is highly inappropriate to have someone that you are seeing around your children until the relationship has become serious. He does not believe it to be an issue and i do not know how to get him to understand that it is not good for our son. Advice anyone, please??!!

What? how dare you to tell him...he can't date because he has a child?
He isn't with you anymore...Just because you think a certain way doesn't mean he does..Lots of poeple date with kids..Thats a part of life...Dont act like you can't date and have someone around your kids. Thats is one of the dumbest things I heard of?
It seems like a jealousy issue to me
I hope he told you it was none of your business
And no dating doesn't harm your kids..

So no its not an issue..only your controlling issue..
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Old 05-25-2011, 01:08 PM
 
Location: NW Montana
6,258 posts, read 12,575,704 times
Reputation: 3422
anything that takes time and attention away from your child harms them...
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Old 05-25-2011, 01:13 PM
 
9 posts, read 11,624 times
Reputation: 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeepgirl27 View Post
What? how dare you to tell him...he can't date because he has a child?
He isn't with you anymore...Just because you think a certain way doesn't mean he does..Lots of poeple date with kids..Thats a part of life...Dont act like you can't date and have someone around your kids. Thats is one of the dumbest things I heard of?
It seems like a jealousy issue to me
I hope he told you it was none of your business
And no dating doesn't harm your kids..

So no its not an issue..only your controlling issue..


Seriously....... You think it is ok to have a sex partner in your bed with your 3 year old kid 5 feet away...... I'd say it's you that has issues......
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Old 05-25-2011, 01:13 PM
 
Location: Over There
402 posts, read 1,205,627 times
Reputation: 760
Exclamation No way, Jose!

Quote:
Originally Posted by needadvicepleaseplease View Post
I recently found out that he had a girl stay the night with him while he had his son. (They share a room). . . . Advice anyone, please??!!
This is the real issue: Is he having sex while a three-year-old is in the same bedroom? You need to make sure that he understands that this is not acceptable behavior. Many three-year-olds can retell elaborately detailed accounts of what they see.

You may need to talk to your lawyer about his visitations if this is still a concern.

Also, I can imagine the stories at preschool. Children often tell their playmates and teachers about EVERYTHING that goes on at home.
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Old 05-25-2011, 01:20 PM
 
Location: colorado
2,788 posts, read 4,230,542 times
Reputation: 3312
Quote:
Originally Posted by needadvicepleaseplease View Post
Seriously....... You think it is ok to have a sex partner in your bed with your 3 year old kid 5 feet away...... I'd say it's you that has issues......

Who said anyting about having sex with your kid in the same bed with you..??
If your kid is a sleep in his own room...what you do with an another adult is a different story. If the couple are watching television with the kid...that child isn't being hurt
Its what you do and don't in front of your kids
Im talking about dating..
And yes..if you are both adults and you want to have sex and the child who is 3 is sleeping in his own room..than have sex..your child isn't going to be traumatized for life?
It may shock you but people who are no longer with their childs other parent do have sex with other people?
This post wasn't about oh this woman he is seeing is beating, or abusing my child..?
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Old 05-25-2011, 01:23 PM
 
Location: colorado
2,788 posts, read 4,230,542 times
Reputation: 3312
Quote:
Originally Posted by needadvicepleaseplease View Post
Seriously....... You think it is ok to have a sex partner in your bed with your 3 year old kid 5 feet away...... I'd say it's you that has issues......

How do you know anyway..they didnt leave the kid in the bedroom and had sex somewhere else..not in front of him..like the livingroom or kitchen..
and what if they just slept???
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Old 05-25-2011, 01:26 PM
 
6,455 posts, read 9,486,483 times
Reputation: 10758
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeepgirl27 View Post
How do you know anyway..they didnt leave the kid in the bedroom and had sex somewhere else..not in front of him..like the livingroom or kitchen..
and what if they just slept???
Wow... you're really narrow in your views, aren't you? Read the thread again. He didn't deny it, he just thinks it's not a problem. And it is.
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