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Old 06-04-2011, 12:05 PM
 
Location: In my skin
8,032 posts, read 8,789,717 times
Reputation: 7871
"All teens/kids do that.", when they are disrespectful or otherwise not pleasant to be around.
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Old 06-04-2011, 12:25 PM
 
Location: You know... That place
1,899 posts, read 1,226,791 times
Reputation: 2017
I get really annoyed by the "That's not how I would do it" people.

My DD is generally well behaved in public. I don't know if I got lucky, if it is because I discipline her and don't let her act up in public, or a combination of both. Anyways, I remember one night very vividly where we were going to dinner with my parents when DD was 4. Our night wasn't going according to plan. We got off to a much later start than we were planning. When we got there, there was a long wait. Then service was very slow. It was 3 hours from the time we got to the restaurant until we got our food. So it was almost 10:00 before we finally got to eat. DD was doing very well through all of it and I considered just giving up and going home because it was so late, but decided to stick it out because we still needed to eat.

Right after our food got there, DD started acting up. Then she started crying. I picked her up and took her outside to calm her some and tell her we would leave very soon.We were all tired and hungry at this point. When I took her back inside as a much calmer child (maybe 5 minutes later), my dad said "why would you let her ruin your dinner like that? You should have better control over her". I just looked at him and said "All of these people around us are paying good money to be able to go out and enjoy themselves. Why should I subject them to a crying child? When have you ever seen her act like this? She is tired and hungry. I think we should leave. I am sorry I don't have more control over a tired and hungry 4 year old. I thought you would appreciate my consideration for others around me since that is how you raised me."

Ugh. That was the one night that we let the time get away from us. I don't let my child control my life, but sometimes you have to realize that they get tired and have a much harder time controlling themselves than an adult. I handeled the situation the best I could under the circumstances.
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Old 06-04-2011, 05:10 PM
 
26,953 posts, read 20,074,895 times
Reputation: 24192
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charles View Post
Speaking of colors and parents and being in public. My cousin in Buffalo NY, when she was about three or so was with her mother on a bus or at a park or something and she walked up to a black lady and pointed to the lady's arm and said something like "You need to go take a bath, you're all dirty."

What do you do? Where's the nearest rock to crawl under?
Oh no, awkward, very awkward.

That reminded me, I was on my commuter train once in the terminal while people were boarding. A man had apparently brought his little girl with him to work that day, and she was chattering away. I wasn't really paying attention until a heavyset man entered the car and passed the seat with the kid in it as he walked up the aisle. All of a sudden everyone could hear the little girl, clear as a bell, "Look Daddy! That man ate too much food."
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Old 06-04-2011, 05:18 PM
 
26,953 posts, read 20,074,895 times
Reputation: 24192
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
People who act like my disabled daughter is contagious.
I hope that the you-are-an-idiot fairy whacks them upside the head with her serrated wand.

I remember read an interview with Barbara Bush years ago (when George 41 was President) and she recounted similar stories about how when her little girl was dying, certain people who were supposedly friends would no longer bring their children over to play, afraid that somehow their kid would catch cancer, too.
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Old 06-04-2011, 05:23 PM
 
Location: Space Coast
1,978 posts, read 2,425,341 times
Reputation: 2639
Quote:
Originally Posted by num1baby View Post
I get really annoyed by the "That's not how I would do it" people.

My DD is generally well behaved in public. I don't know if I got lucky, if it is because I discipline her and don't let her act up in public, or a combination of both. Anyways, I remember one night very vividly where we were going to dinner with my parents when DD was 4. Our night wasn't going according to plan. We got off to a much later start than we were planning. When we got there, there was a long wait. Then service was very slow. It was 3 hours from the time we got to the restaurant until we got our food. So it was almost 10:00 before we finally got to eat. DD was doing very well through all of it and I considered just giving up and going home because it was so late, but decided to stick it out because we still needed to eat.

Right after our food got there, DD started acting up. Then she started crying. I picked her up and took her outside to calm her some and tell her we would leave very soon.We were all tired and hungry at this point. When I took her back inside as a much calmer child (maybe 5 minutes later), my dad said "why would you let her ruin your dinner like that? You should have better control over her". I just looked at him and said "All of these people around us are paying good money to be able to go out and enjoy themselves. Why should I subject them to a crying child? When have you ever seen her act like this? She is tired and hungry. I think we should leave. I am sorry I don't have more control over a tired and hungry 4 year old. I thought you would appreciate my consideration for others around me since that is how you raised me."

Ugh. That was the one night that we let the time get away from us. I don't let my child control my life, but sometimes you have to realize that they get tired and have a much harder time controlling themselves than an adult. I handeled the situation the best I could under the circumstances.
I think you handled it just right, including your response to your dad.
I'm sure everyone was tired and cranky and hungry; so the fact that you handled it without it turning into a giant drama scene is great.
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Old 06-05-2011, 07:42 AM
 
14,281 posts, read 8,298,400 times
Reputation: 6718
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
You would think in this day and age with all the information out there, people would know that autism isn't a discipline issue. On the other hand, if they don't know he is autistic, it's easy to jump to conclusions. I have been guilty of that myself.

I attended the baptism of a friend's son a few years ago. During the entire ceremony, there was a little boy, beautiful child to look at, of about four years old, walking up and down the aisle next to me stomping his feet and yelling at the top of his lungs. No one stopped him and I wondered what the hell was wrong with his parents. They just sort of pretended it wasn't happening. I was very annoyed and sorry I attended the christening, because I couldn't hear anything anyway.

Afterward I found out that it was my friend's nephew, and he has autism. I felt bad that I had let his behavior annoy me so much, and I realized the parents had just learned to tune him out in situations such as the one we were in. The only other child I'd known with autism was very quiet and turned inward/disconnected from people, and I didn't realize that this boy's behavioral issues could also be that of an autistic child.

On the up side, about five years later I attended a barbecue at the home of the same friend, and the same little boy was there. His parents had worked with him through a local program or school. You would not have known anything was "different" about him. He was speaking just fine, playing with the other kids, listened to his father when he asked him to do something, etc. The change was amazing.
My son is in EI now and has made great strides. FWIW, if my son acted that way at a church, I would have taken him to another area.
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Old 06-05-2011, 07:43 AM
 
14,281 posts, read 8,298,400 times
Reputation: 6718
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiana View Post
Actually, on the farm, everyone worked. The moms and daughters did do the inside work of the house, and the childcare for kids too young to be working the farm.

"Man may work from sun to sun, but a woman's work is never done".
Note the words "littlest ones".
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Old 06-05-2011, 07:46 AM
 
14,281 posts, read 8,298,400 times
Reputation: 6718
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
I hope that the you-are-an-idiot fairy whacks them upside the head with her serrated wand.

I remember read an interview with Barbara Bush years ago (when George 41 was President) and she recounted similar stories about how when her little girl was dying, certain people who were supposedly friends would no longer bring their children over to play, afraid that somehow their kid would catch cancer, too.
Wow.
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Old 06-05-2011, 07:47 AM
Status: "Fall is in the air-too soon!" (set 25 days ago)
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
68,611 posts, read 57,269,703 times
Reputation: 19413
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
Note the words "littlest ones".
Where?

And it sure as H*** wasn't the dads taking care of the "littlest ones". If the dads didn't have any work to do on the farm, they went to the coffee shop or the bar.
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Old 06-05-2011, 07:50 AM
 
14,281 posts, read 8,298,400 times
Reputation: 6718
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiana View Post
Where?

And it sure as H*** wasn't the dads taking care of the "littlest ones". If the dads didn't have any work to do on the farm, they went to the coffee shop or the bar.
Where what? I used the words in my post that you quoted. I didn't say the dads were. I said grandma/grandpa. More probably grandma, but the point remains.

Did you read what you quoted?
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