U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-31-2011, 06:54 AM
 
117 posts, read 79,519 times
Reputation: 48

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by LeavingMassachusetts View Post
I think she is just amazed how many people in Canada like Dr. Phil.

WHAT What does this even have to do with the OP?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-31-2011, 07:14 AM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
10,736 posts, read 18,313,879 times
Reputation: 24559
My oldest daughter was the same way about potty-training. She was really big for her age and this was before they made overnight diapers in so many sizes...I was worried that we'd have to buy her Depends if she didn't get trained before she outgrew baby diapers

I tried everything with her. Rewards, musical potty, taking her to the bathroom with me so we could both go, bribing her, leaving her bare from the waist down, threats, begging, pleading, feeding her a chocolate candy every time she sat on the toilet...nothing worked. Then when she was 3 and a half, her sister was born. I was in the hospital several days and my sister came to stay with my daughter. My sister has never even pretended that she's willing to change a diaper. I'm not sure exactly what she did...when I came home from the hospital, there was a huge bag of peed panties in the bathroom (sis does not do laundry either), not a single diaper anywhere in the house, and a scared kid using the toilet.

For a while, my daughter could only use the bathroom at home. We moved soon after that, and she quit pooping because she was scared to go on the toilet at the new house. We tried everything...milk of magnesia, apple juice, glycerin suppositories...but she got so constipated that we had to take her to the doctor. Finally she started using the toilet normally. She still had occasional accidents after that. She's in 3rd grade this year and this is the first year I haven't had to take fresh pants to school for her at least once.

My other daughter was much easier...the day she turned two, she said she didn't need diapers anymore. I decided to give her panties just to humor her, but she never had an accident or any issues using any toilet, anywhere.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-31-2011, 11:13 AM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
4,794 posts, read 8,207,803 times
Reputation: 5410
Smile Oh boy, this brings back memories...

So much pressure. Our daughter was proceeding normally. No problem.
Then, she spent a week with my parents. My mom was so into the potty stuff that when our daughter came back to us, she was changed - back into the diapers. She was close to 3.

Nothing worked.

We then were referred to a psychologist who worked with her for a year.
At the end of that year, the recommendation was that she was SO strong willed and that we should move to a real family oriented community where she would be around lots of kids and of course, try pre-K.

We got her into a private pre-K school - they knew about the situation.
Within 1 week of her going there, she was trained. Totally. All it took was a little peer pressure. We also did move. Lots of kids around.

We were also told she was her own person and would never be moved by the crowd. Well, this held in high school but in college, she seemed to follow the crowd. Now, she's an adult and I think, trying to find what she wants. She definitely is her own person though.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-31-2011, 12:13 PM
 
9,020 posts, read 6,600,300 times
Reputation: 10992
Quote:
Originally Posted by classygirl View Post
I have watched a Dr. Phil episode on potty training where he talks about curency. I have no idea what you are talking about
Is there some particular reason why you choose to stalk me? Please let me know.
Choose to stalk you? Oh goodness, no. I just thought it was interesting another poster used that term, it stuck in my head and I thought you might find it amusing.

I mean, it would only be considered stalking if I'd looked up an old post of yours, right? But you've only started posting here this month, so that wouldn't even be possible. Right?

Lots of people like Dr Phil, I guess, no biggie.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-31-2011, 12:41 PM
 
Location: here
24,269 posts, read 28,216,277 times
Reputation: 30336
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette View Post
So much pressure. Our daughter was proceeding normally. No problem.
Then, she spent a week with my parents. My mom was so into the potty stuff that when our daughter came back to us, she was changed - back into the diapers. She was close to 3.

Nothing worked.

We then were referred to a psychologist who worked with her for a year.
At the end of that year, the recommendation was that she was SO strong willed and that we should move to a real family oriented community where she would be around lots of kids and of course, try pre-K.

We got her into a private pre-K school - they knew about the situation.
Within 1 week of her going there, she was trained. Totally. All it took was a little peer pressure. We also did move. Lots of kids around.

We were also told she was her own person and would never be moved by the crowd. Well, this held in high school but in college, she seemed to follow the crowd. Now, she's an adult and I think, trying to find what she wants. She definitely is her own person though.
now I've heard everything.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-31-2011, 01:06 PM
 
Location: Eastwood, Orlando FL
1,260 posts, read 1,348,125 times
Reputation: 1408
Quote:
Originally Posted by rkb0305 View Post
now I've heard everything.
Yes, I can't believe they would send someone to a psychologist for this. It's well within the normal range for a child to become potty changed at around age 3.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-31-2011, 02:27 PM
 
Location: You know... That place
1,899 posts, read 2,319,496 times
Reputation: 2048
I agree with all of you saying that they will train when they are ready. I thought DD was ready. We tried for a few days and it just wasn't working. We stopped trying. Occasionally in a completely off-hand manner, we would ask DD if she wanted to try the potty. She didn't. So, we turned diaper time into the most boring experience possible. We made sure there was nothing interesting to look at. We didn't talk to her at all while changing her diaper. We also started changing them slowly. It got to the point where changing a wet diaper (30 second event) was about 3 silent and boring minutes. Any time she went into the bathroom and even sat on the potty, we would talk to her and get super happy.

One day we woke up and as I was getting DD ready for school, I grabbed a diaper and she said "No Mommy. I want big girl panties. I put them on her and made sure her teachers knew what was going on. I sent in a couple of changes of clothes. We never went back to diapers. I don't know if she finally decided she was ready or if it was the fact that she got no fun and no attention while changing her diapers.

I do know that she liked diapers because changing her diapers meant some definite 1 on 1 time. We gave her plenty of 1 on 1 time, but for some reason she enjoyed diaper time the most. I think when we made that boring for her, she didn't enjoy it as much.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-31-2011, 02:58 PM
 
18,856 posts, read 29,993,604 times
Reputation: 25936
1) get another kid her age, to come over and play for a day. Make sure that kid is potty trained.
2) big girl panties only
3) find what she likes, toy, candy, whatever...you only get that when you are on the potty. M&M's and Dum-Dum Suckers worked in our house. No one gets candy, EVER, except on the potty.
4) You are really the one who is trained, you put her on in the am, at 10, at 12, at 2, at 4, at 6, at 8. Every two hours, whether she needs it or not.

What finally tilted my little subborn one over the edge, was she kept peeing all the time, and in bed at night. Well, she was four, and expected me to give her a clean bed one night...nope. I made her strip her own bed, and carry those sheets down to the washer, she was screaming and crying the whole way. She had to wash her own sheets, and clothes...it only happened once...and of course, she remembers it to this day...what a MEAN mommy I was! But, it never happened again. She was dry forever after that.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-31-2011, 03:18 PM
 
Location: NC
1,696 posts, read 3,793,027 times
Reputation: 1851
my son wasnt fully potty trained until he was 4 1/2. my daughter was trained before she was 2.

each kid is differnt. if you fight them, thye will fight YOU. its a control issue.

take away the diapers. take away the pull ups. its underwear ONLY (yes, night time too!)

when she poos, make HER dump it in the potty and flush it. even if that means you physically take her hands and maker her do it.

she will eventually get it, but it WILL be when SHE is ready. no matter what you do. but making it harder (ie clean up duty) helps. LOL
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-31-2011, 03:56 PM
 
4,044 posts, read 5,853,954 times
Reputation: 3809
Quote:
Originally Posted by classygirl View Post
You have to find her currency as Dr. Phil says. Please tell me what your daughter loves to do or collect or play with the most? I'll give you some ideas if you can give me some more info please.
In the mean time put her in big girl undies for one day and watch her like a hawk and when she starts to pee in them grab her right away and let her finish on the potty. Do this several times a day.
She likes a variety of things but I can assure you, nothing THAT passionately that would motivate her to solve the potty issue now.
Perhaps other people were right, maybe she just "isn't ready" - whatever this expression means (I didn't grow up with it and I never really understood it, as I've always felt many children will not be ready for many things until someone expects them to GET ready. Growing up, we were expected to just "make it ready", whatever that was).

I am now trying to monitor all of her "toilet moments" very closely but I have to admit, it is very difficult because she CONSTANTLY pees (from all the water she drinks all the time from her sippy cup - a weird habit she developed); and she has 2-3 bowl movements a day, all at very unpredictable times. It can be ANY TIME.

She also shows absolutely NO SIGNS when she is about to go. She doesn't crouch, she doesn't make any grimaces, nothing. She just goes about her business and ends up smelly, in the most natural way you can imagine.

Thank you everyne for all suggestions - I will combine them and try to come up with a strategy. Taking a break might be a good idea right now.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2017, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top