Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 06-02-2011, 02:38 PM
 
Location: South Carolina
14,785 posts, read 23,960,793 times
Reputation: 27090

Advertisements

My brother has it so good . When he got his rental my mother bought him a brand new washer and dryer set , new lr suite , new outdoor furniture the works . What did I get ? nothing because as my mother put it , I favor my father too much and dont really need ppl to help me . If it were not so sad it would be laughable . I think my brother has the entitlement issue coursing through his veins and yeah my mom put it there . What ever little ricky wants , little ricky gets . I think alot of ppl have that entitlement issue going on with their folks and their folks play right into it .
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 06-02-2011, 02:43 PM
 
Location: West Texas
958 posts, read 2,125,994 times
Reputation: 1215
When my wife was expecting our first daughter we were at her parents home telling them the good news.
They were very happy and just beamed with delight.
The conversation turned to child care and grandparents.
They told us they had raised their children and we should not expect them to take care of ours so we could have a night off.

When they said that I was not offended but acutally agreed with them.
we have two kids, both grown now and the only time my inlaws stept in was when our youngest was born.

She was born with health issues and needed to wear a heart and lung monitor for the first six months.
My inlaws asked if we would alow them to help out while I was at work.
My wife had delivered by C section and was suffering from gall stones at the sametime.

That was the only time we recieved for help from either of our parents.
We just would have never asked or expected it. The thought just never entered our mind.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-02-2011, 02:48 PM
Status: "Mistress of finance and foods." (set 18 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
50,007 posts, read 63,335,877 times
Reputation: 92514
As a grandmother, if I lived closer to the kids I would love nothing more than to be part of their everyday lives. Of course I would have limits, but taking them shopping and picking them up from school, etc. would be a pleasure.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-02-2011, 02:49 PM
 
Location: You know... That place
1,899 posts, read 2,842,716 times
Reputation: 2060
I never really thought about this before. My parents live 20 minutes away. DD is their youngest grandchild. They have never offered to pay for daycare or summer camps, but I don't expect them to. They have their own bills. However, my mom will call me and ask when I am coming over because she got DD a cute outfit at a garage sale for $0.50 or something like my van was acting up a few weeks ago and since my dad is a Service Manager at a car dealership, he traded cars with me for a few days so he could get the work done for me cheaply (I still paid for the work). Other than that, they have watched DD 3 or 4 times in the past 6 years so that DD and I can go out for our anniversary, or go to a wedding.

DD is my child and she normally goes everywhere with us, so babysitting isn't usually an issue. She is my responsibility. OTOH, I do know that in an emergency I could call either set of grandparents and they would help with whatever I need financially or time-wise. I just don't feel the need to call them for every day stuff.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-02-2011, 04:05 PM
 
Location: Knoxville, TN
346 posts, read 506,111 times
Reputation: 507
I do not expect help, either financially or with child care. I do ask for help occasionally, for a date night or even a weekend trip. We try not to ask very often, and we usually bring back a small gift to show our gratitude.

Our parents give the kids nice gifts, my dad and stepmom historically have given the more extravagant gifts, but it has never been expected.

For my grandsons I will buy them clothes, and yes, a week at summer camp that I know my stepdaughter could never afford. We have also been asked to babysit on occasion, but I never feel like it's expected.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-02-2011, 04:22 PM
 
1,302 posts, read 1,801,316 times
Reputation: 1947
Frankly, I'll be upset of I don't get to babysit my Grandkids and spoil them rotten. I am unsure how all of it will work considering I don't live near my sons though. lol.

When my parents were alive they spoiled my boys rotten and also babysat. I never expected anything they just did it because they loved to.

It was pretty clear when my oldest was born that my Mom now liked him better than me, I'm pretty sure I will feel the same way Isn't the reason you have kids is so you can have grandkids?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-02-2011, 06:51 PM
 
Location: 500 miles from home
33,943 posts, read 22,385,813 times
Reputation: 25806
My mom did everything for my son when he was born. Actually, she was a little over-the-top with it and sometimes it would drive me insane.

She lost a son when he was 8 years old and she absolutely DOTED on mine. And he loved his Grandma and his Grandad.

I never allowed her to babysit every day though - because that would have been too much burden on her AND it gives relatives too much power over your kids.

I appreciate everything she did; my son knew he was loved. I was a single mother; working full time. She would come over and organize his toys; have his favorite dinner ready; call and ask if she could take him to the movies . . . she definitely spoiled him with the three hot meals a day thing.

All in all ~ I was blessed. My mom has since died and I want to be a fantastic Grandmother when my turn comes. I don't think I would want to babysit every day though.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-02-2011, 07:16 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
13 posts, read 16,670 times
Reputation: 24
I have never expected my parents to do anything, and financially did not need them to. In my situation my daughter is my parents only grandchild, and I did not have her until I was 30, so yes she is spoiled by them. My Mom insisted on watching my daughter everyday I worked since she was born (she has never worked, and my Dad was retired) They did it out of pure love, as I had a daycare right across the street where I worked . They did this until my daughter started school, then they switched to picking her up from school once a week and taking her out to eat. Now that my Mom passed away in 2008 my Dad still to this day picks her up every Wednesday (even when school is out) my daughter is now going on 12, and still enjoys it. Even some weekends he will make plans likememorial day weekend he got her for the day to go to a memorial day celebration, they love spending time together. Yes, there are times I try to put my foot down and tell Grandpa "No" to things for my daughter, but he always says "It's what Grandma would of wanted her to have". But as far as for me I financially do not take anything.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-02-2011, 07:19 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
24,012 posts, read 28,343,998 times
Reputation: 41121
I'm not sure from the OP what makes her believe that the help is expected or that the recipients are ungrateful?

Hard to tell when you are making assumptions based on conversations overheard in the carpool lane.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-02-2011, 08:02 PM
 
114 posts, read 230,923 times
Reputation: 132
i have never expected my parents to do anything for us or our kids, they do however watch the kids on some weekends so that my husband and i can go out and have some us time they do this about every 5 to 6 weeks, my mom actually called me last night and said can i please have my grandbabies this weekend ( they go from friday night to sunday afternoon because they live 3 hours away and dont get to see them as much as they would like too)


my mom has never paid for things for us but i know if we needed the help that they would be the first in line to help us.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top