My son failed math, so I grounded him for the entire summer. Need parenting help! (sitter, deadbeat)
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Location: Visitation between Wal-Mart & Home Depot
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While that certainly seems to be on the harsh side, the real danger in that sort of punishment is that he will learn that he is more determined than you and can wait you out when you put your foot down. If you grounded him for the whole summer you have to follow through or you have to find a way to backtrack without losing face (and absolutely do not tolerate any sort of victory dance on his part if you backtrack).
The other danger is that he will learn that he can get away with outright mutiny.
Stick to your guns or find a way to gracefully dismount that doesn't undermine your authority.
You're not a failure as a parent, by the way. You can't enable poor academics if that's one of your core values, but you can't put yourself in a situation where the only thing holding up your authority is the presumption that he will not push back.
Then to the idea of grounding for the whole summer.
B O R I N G
Can you imagine being so bored. Such a drawn out punishment. Before its over he will have forgotton why he got the punishment. But he will remember for a long time the boredom and frustration.
That is why I like corporal punishment its quick and over and done with. But still would not punish this way or any way for bad grades.
This is so sad. If I were that child, I'd be figuring out where to go when I run away.
Your son doesn't have the tools to learn math. YOU are the one who should reap the punishment for not giving him the tools he needed to do HIS job of learning.
YOU stay home from Hawaii so there's no excuse for not getting your son a tutor. Let him go in your place since he did HIS JOB of telling you he was in need of help but YOU chose to ignore him.
Thank you to everyone who has answered, but I do not appreciate all the poisonous, judgmental answers telling me I'm too hard on my son and that what I'm doing is abuse. Clearly, most parents these days would rather be their kid's friends than actually be PARENTS. I am a PARENT, and I am not my son's friend. I am doing what's best for him. He has been slacking off for a long time in math, and now I am finally putting my foot down and teaching him a lesson.
To those who recommended checking his grades online, I did so weekly ever since he got the bad report card in March. Each time when he got bad math grades, I would warn him that he'd better study or he'd be grounded all summer long. But instead he kept goofing off and whining about how hard math his, how hard high school is, and on and on and on. I do not put up with teenage drama. I refuse to let my son walk over me, and I could see right through his excuses for laziness.
Thanks to all who suggested tutoring, I will be hiring a tutor, even though it is expensive. I will also look for summer classes for him, even if they are not in our local district. I may let him come to Hawaii if he works hard.
By the way, in our house, grounding means no TV, No Computer, No Video Games, No going outside, No phone, No friends, No desserts, and No bedroom door; as well as plenty of extra chores. Because my son failed math, which is a particularly serious offense, I am also making him watch the rest of the family eat dessert whenever we have dessert, and I make his siblings tell him about all the summer fun they have each day, to remind him what he's missing out on since he failed math. Also, we are going on vacation to Hawaii, and my son will not be allowed to come.
Excuse me, but I am a parent to my child and don't appreciate your judgemental attitude towards me because I disagree w/ your approach to parenting. So you checked weekly online after he got his first bad report in March. Why weren't you checking prior to that? He failed math! Why weren't you aware before March? He obviously didn't have a high grade point average prior to this, and you should have been aware of where he was and not waiting until March. If he was goofing off and whining, did you ever think that he might need help? Do you even know his learning style? You tell me, is he an Auditory, Kinesthetic, or Visual learner? Do you even know this about your son?
Grounding is one thing, but making your son watch you eat desert is a form of abuse. I pray you are a troll. You have a sick way of parenting. Your son failed math! Get a grip and be a proper parent that doesn't abuse and punish him. Get him the help he needs.
You may let him come to Hawaii, he will not be allowed. Which is it? I think you are totally twisted w/ your parenting skills.
Sheesh! That's cruel. I agree with your wife! You knew he was having difficulties and you didn't even bother to get a tutor or help him yourself. Poor kid!
I'd whisper to the crazy dad, you're so easy to manipulate, I just got what I wanted, out of your house and away from your crazy rules, I win
And I would whisper back, "Youre so easy to manipulate. I just got what I wanted. You out of my house out of my life away from my responsibility. I win"
And id have a 'My way or the highway' tshirt on.
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